Post hilarious/random/awesome text messages ITT
Posted by secondbase on Jun 07, 2010 · Member since Dec 2005 · 5540 posts
June 6th, 1:59am: I usually drink vodka when I get my gay on. Otherwise, it's whiskey or beer
and lubi sent me this one this morning: I pulled my groin last night doing the splits.
LOL
all courtesy of my bff megan
Aww, but I'm dying to be the fat, unwed mother of a bastard child!
K, I'll tell him later...I have a rash....BYE!
I'm gonna rub you down with so much oil you'll slip right outta your clothes!!
courtesy of CK
CAPTAIN LACTATE
Courtesy of my coworker: My boyfriend got drunk and went to town on my ass. I have black handprints. It's awesome.
there was a photo attached to this text message.
SB sent me one one time that said something like, "I'm never gonna drink again", and the true friend that I am replied, "what? you CAN"T quit drinking!!!"
I've got so many people that come to me with issues. I currently have a friend who suffers from depression. The depression isn't funny but she did send me a random message out of the blue ---
June 10, 12:48p: "Seroquel kicks ass..."
I couldn't even respond because my brain was stuck on "WTF?"
These convos are probably just amusing to me.:
- A kid named Myles just danced on yo gabba gabba.
-- dorblzee
-- lol that black guy works on that e channel
- Loll. Crazy daisyyyyy. Eric says dirt. WTF.
-- Kill him!
- Damn straight.
-- Fucking foofa!
- Ahaha. That whore.
- I'm waiting for them to sing about soil. Bitches better.
-- That elk is baller!
- NO IT WAS BAMBIS DAD. screw story time.
-- THERE WAS AN AQUABAT IN THE SKY Holyshhhitttt
- I know!!
- Eric didn't know who the Aquabats were. HOW?!
-- Kill him
-- with fireeeee.
------
-THERE IS A BANANA HERE. THAT WAS MY IDEA. I WAS GOING TO BE THE BRO-NANA AND LEAH SAID IT WAS STUPID. AHHHHHH
--hahaha. who is it?
-I have no idea. But I will find him and ask if he is a bronana. And there will be high fives. There is also a girl singing into a fish mic so badly. So badlyyy
--what?
-Exactly.
--horrible.
I've got so many people that come to me with issues. I currently have a friend who suffers from depression. The depression isn't funny but she did send me a random message out of the blue ---
June 10, 12:48p: "Seroquel kicks ass..."
I couldn't even respond because my brain was stuck on "WTF?"
Ooooo, I hate Seroquel! Glad to see she likes it though....even know it's not an anti-depressent. It's an anti-psychotic and bipolar medication.
Sorry, off topic :>
I've got so many people that come to me with issues. I currently have a friend who suffers from depression. The depression isn't funny but she did send me a random message out of the blue ---
June 10, 12:48p: "Seroquel kicks ass..."
I couldn't even respond because my brain was stuck on "WTF?"
Ooooo, I hate Seroquel! Glad to see she likes it though....even know it's not an anti-depressent. It's an anti-psychotic and bipolar medication.
Sorry, off topic :>
I had to look it up because I didn't know what it was. Heh.
1 am last night... boy friend of mine:
"I was looking at my senior yearbook and I noticed that you drew a fantastic set of tits and the comment 'Call me anytime, Baby.' Is is offer past expiration?"
LOL.
I just banged a chick I brought home from the bar and I want her gone. What's the nicest way to to kick her out?
same guy, telling me more about banging this bar slut: I wore me superman tighty whities the whole time. Maximum awesomicity
hahahahahhaahaha
courtesy of my friend Cujo: I'll hump your leg for bean dip
fuck the spoon and lick the cook
courtesy of my female BFF: DRINKIES DRINKIES DRINKIES (randomly, at 2 in the afternoon)
fuck me sideways with a chainsaw
from my MOM: wellyour ead bolooscopx good damm thip pgome (she is just learning how to text :D )
from my ex-husband: can I call you and get yelled at? nobody reams my ass like you and my boyfriend is in portland today