Open letters
Seeing as we've got confessions and problems and issues springing up in threads all over the shop, I thought it might be interesting to have an open letter thread. Cathartic, perhaps. From your mother ruining your wedding, to your boyfriend who can't stop peeing on the toilet seat, or even that guy on the bus who kept making that annoying noise with his mouth, get it out here.
I'll get the ball rolling.
To my dear darling boyfriend,
Just because you are technically 'clean' when you come out the shower, it doesn't mean that I am okay with using the same towel you've been rubbing all over yourself for a month. I know you have others. I bought you two myself. Drag them out from the murky depths of the laundry basket, wash them and allow me the temporary use of a clean one.
Love, Cat
I think we should descend upon Mr. Base's place and all hang out in his kitchen. Gorilla baking.
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Dear Storage Locker:
Thank you for letting me find my optical mouse. The ball mouse that I had hooked up to my computer was so hard to work that I overshoot everything with my optical beauty.
Sincerely,
Storage Locker Stuffer
dear college,
you are less awful than i anticipated.
but i still dont like you.
love always and forever,
catherine.
dear people in college,
let's be friends? i feel lonely.
YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND PLEASE?,
catherine.
dear p-to-the-cakes,
how long you been there? give it time :)
fwiw i used to HATE college but then grew to love it.
love,
K-to-the-MK
Dear nap,
You felt like such a good idea at the time. I had cleaned the kitchen, worked out, food shopped, made a fantastic lunch, and picked my fantasy football team; I thought you'd be a great way to reward myself for my accomplishments. Unfortunately, now that I've woken up from you I feel groggy to the point of nauseousness. What did you do to me?
Ugh.
caroleena.
Dear Loki the Samoyed,
thanks for jumping up while I was on the phone during your recess today and smacking your nose right against my lip. I now have a giant bruise-like patch on the inside of it where the blood vessels burst. Learn some manners or I'll teach you some! Your cute eskimo face doesn't always win me over. TIA,
Tino
Dear LtheS,
You're cute enough to get away with all sorts of mischief, I bet.
hh
Dear Generic Grocery Stores,
I miss you all. My mother raised me in California enjoying the Canned Foods Warehouse and when I moved to Tennessee I loved ALDI. Please put one of your fabulous stores in Connecticut. And if that is entirely impossible, how about North Carolina? Pretty please!
I love bringing my own bags or using found boxes in the store. I loved walking out of there with an awesome care package to a friend for under $12 that was jam packed (pun intended) with dry and canned goods. I would love to spend $40 to stock my pantry rather than $180. Please come to me oh chained carts that rude people have to put away to get their quarter back. I miss you so!
Yours forever,
Cali the Cheapskate
Dear Whole Foods,
Even though you were a small store on Main Street in West Hartford, I found you lovely. I spent $160 on staples like ice cream, faux meats and red quinoa. I wish you were in my little town instead.
Your devoted fan,
~Cali the newly poor
dear teensy rice cooker,
you had BEST cook my pasta. the internet told me you would, but it doesnt look like it. this is your fault. im hungry.
loveee
catherine.
dearest kmk, (hehe)
ive been here since saturday..i guess maybe i should give it more time and actually try to like it..but it's kind of hard because im bad at meeting new people. and im scared to leave my room haha. and the food is bad news bears.
heart,
cakes.
Dear PonyCakes,
They're feeding you a rebellious little league baseball team?
Is it the original or the remake?
Not sure which would taste better,
Chuck
dear ck,
haha i think the original would be better..i saw the remake and wasnt a fan.
i had rice and peas and water for dinner yesterday.
guess what's for dinner today! rice!! and beans!! mmm! :P
heart,
cakes.
dear teensy rice cooker,
im sorry i doubted you.
love always,
cakes.
Even though you were a small store on Main Street in West Hartford, I found you lovely. I spent $160 on staples like ice cream, faux meats and red quinoa. I wish you were in my little town instead.
You were in West Hartford and didn't tell me!
:'(
dearest kmk, (hehe)
ive been here since saturday..i guess maybe i should give it more time and actually try to like it..but it's kind of hard because im bad at meeting new people. and im scared to leave my room haha. and the food is bad news bears.
heart,
cakes.
Oh, you're like me. I was very much by myself at first when I went to college. But it turned out fine! You'll meet people in classes and activities and things. All my bestest friends were either people from classes or people I met through people from classes. It'll be fine! :-*
Dear CR,
Your emails really brighten my days! You really make me smile.
I hope we can hang soon :)
Toodles!
Capture
Dear Ponycakes,
Hang in there girl. It will get better. People will figure out your coolness factor and will soon be stuck to you like white (or brown!) on rice.
Also, look up shantastic! I saw her profile and she goes to your school! And vegan! Maybe she's got the digs on where to get good vegan grub.
Peace,
PP
Dear student who told another classmate that "hunting is murder. It's so stupid!",
Congratulations. You are my favorite.
Love,
Mizz H.
eta: And when you told other students that "gay" should not be said as a putdown. omg you're awesome.
Dear Ponycakes,
Hang in there girl. It will get better. People will figure out your coolness factor and will soon be stuck to you like white (or brown!) on rice.
Also, look up shantastic! I saw her profile and she goes to your school! And vegan! Maybe she's got the digs on where to get good vegan grub.
Peace,
PP
nooooo wayyyy!!!! :D
im looking her up now and stalking her hahaha...ill probably look like quite the creeper
Dear Ponycakes,
Hang in there girl. It will get better. People will figure out your coolness factor and will soon be stuck to you like white (or brown!) on rice.
Also, look up shantastic! I saw her profile and she goes to your school! And vegan! Maybe she's got the digs on where to get good vegan grub.
Peace,
PP
nooooo wayyyy!!!! :D
im looking her up now and stalking her hahaha...ill probably look like quite the creeper
dear PC,
want to me to msg. her for ya?
love, hesp.
Dear student who told another classmate that "hunting is murder. It's so stupid!",
Congratulations. You are my favorite.
Love,
Mizz H.
eta: And when you told other students that "gay" should not be said as a putdown. omg you're awesome.
Dear KMK;
What you have there is not just a student--it's a real human being.
Well done you.
YG
Yeah, I wish I could say I had something to do with that....
I've only had the little dear for two days.
But he lost his older brother's calculator (left it in another room) and he was SO worried about it I thought he was gonna cry. I was like, "Ill help you find it, don't worry!" but he was sooo sad. But then we found it and life resumed. He's a cutie.
Dear vintage turquoise pumps,
You are cute, cheap, and animal product free. This we have in common. And that is why I love you.
Love,
Your new feet and the attached being.
Dear Pinks,
I can't respond on here and I was going to message you on myspace, but I ended up going to bed early last night.
I swear I'm not being rude. :)
I will try to respond later tonight.
Chuck
PS - Thanks in advance for the kindness and hospitality! You rule!
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