Open letters
Seeing as we've got confessions and problems and issues springing up in threads all over the shop, I thought it might be interesting to have an open letter thread. Cathartic, perhaps. From your mother ruining your wedding, to your boyfriend who can't stop peeing on the toilet seat, or even that guy on the bus who kept making that annoying noise with his mouth, get it out here.
I'll get the ball rolling.
To my dear darling boyfriend,
Just because you are technically 'clean' when you come out the shower, it doesn't mean that I am okay with using the same towel you've been rubbing all over yourself for a month. I know you have others. I bought you two myself. Drag them out from the murky depths of the laundry basket, wash them and allow me the temporary use of a clean one.
Love, Cat
dear plethora of crushes at the hospital,
your all sexy. do me.
love,
that hot chick(?) from f&n
Dear babe who shall remain nameless,
We had a decent conversation today. You told me I wasn't a failure. Now I feel better. I hope I was wrong about you!
Besos,
Ms. H
P.S. Stop bring pretty without trying.
Dear coworker across the office, It's TOO EARLY for the loud obnoxious music. Can you at least turn it down? I'm going to secretly buy you headphones & leave them on your desk.
dear plethora of crushes at the hospital,
your all sexy. do me.
love,
that hot chick(?) from f&n
Dear Hespy,
You're awesome! >:D
Your admierer,
Capture
Dear Barney,
Leave Cap alone. You're weird.
-AC
Dear HH,
Thanks again for making my new avatar. It makes me smile every time I see it. :)
Dear Self,
Get the ef up off the couch and do something!!!!!!!! >:(
thhf
Dear Barney,
Leave Cap alone. You're weird.
-AC
Dear AC,
I <3 U
Capilicious
Dear Barney,
Leave Cap alone. You're weird.
-AC
Dear AC,
Agreed. Barney, STFU.
Love,
KMK
Dear Jonathan,
You were an angel today. I can't wait to spend the school year with you. You are such a sweetheart.
I'm glad we can put the making-fun-of-the-teacher-behind-her-back business behind us.
See you Tuesday!
Proudly,
Ms. H
Dear Drunkenness on Friday at 6pm,
Nice to meet you. You're looooooovely.
*hiccup*,
KMK
Dear alcoholism,
Oh hai!
We may be seeing each other soon.
Love,
KMK
Dear Drunkenness on Friday at 6pm,
Nice to meet you. You're looooooovely.
*hiccup*,
KMK
Dear alcoholism,
Oh hai!
We may be seeing each other soon.
Love,
KMK
Hahahahaha, someone find this woman an AA meeting!
Dear Drunkenness on Friday at 6pm,
Nice to meet you. You're looooooovely.
*hiccup*,
KMK
Dear alcoholism,
Oh hai!
We may be seeing each other soon.
Love,
KMK
Hahahahaha, someone find this woman an AA meeting!
Or something with which to tranquilize 12-year olds without legal repercussions.
Dear leftovers,
You have been good to me, especially since it's been so hot.
Love, Base
Dear heat,
I like you, but not this much and for this long. Please simmer down.
Love, Base
Dear dishes,
Please do yourselves today. It's too hot in the kitchen.
Love,
Base
Dear base,
Don't bother me.
-Mother Nature
-------------------------------------------
Dear base,
Ok.
-dishes
Dear heat... Please simmer down.
I'm not sure that would help. You'd just concentrate it.
Dear heat... Please simmer down.
I'm not sure that would help. You'd just concentrate it.
Or, "reduce" it.....so...it could go either way. Maybe reduced, but concentrated? That might be ok. Either way, Mother Nature says :nono:
He used a heat-associated verb, "simmer," to describe his desire for less heat. Funny stuff, until over-explained. At least to me, I have a dry sense of humor.
I know...........
but you could heat something (simmer, boil, whatever) to reduce it (you know, like reduced balsamic vinegar).......so....I thought I was adding to the joke..........
:'(
simmer down like the kickass hilarious SNL skit, "simmah down nah" One of the best skits ever.
Dear Brain--
Get with the programme! Saturday means "sleep till 10" NOT "wake up at 4 AM and obsess about nonsense." You are making a habit of this and I may have to do without you.
In anger,
YG
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