so my BF of 4 years dumped me
i don't think i have ever felt more insanely hopeless, unhappy, sad... blah blah... i can't stop crying... i feel lost without this guy and considered him my sloemate but appatently he despises me... my life revolved aroud him and now what do i do? i called in sick for work tomorrow as i have been crying for days... i want him back and he hates me... so i guess i will just end up lonely and alone my entire life as the 1 person i love times infinity can't stand me... how can i deal with this? i hope to not use food as an answer as i usually do... he also left me with his car that is in my name with a huge payment (the car is owed more than the damn thing is worth so i will lose money by selling it or kill myslef tring ti pay the bill... someone help, give me good advice, make me happy i haven't been so upset since being a suicodal teenager
I'm so sorry Amy!!!!! It will hurt and hurt, but like everyone else said, somehow it does get better, and better, and better until a while from now you start thinking, "seriously, that guy? why was he such a big deal." You are funny, awesome, and nice and deserve someone awesome too! My advice would be to make yourself as busy as possible, preferrably with social things, so you don't even think about it. Dress up in cute, hot-mama clothes and go dancing with some girlfriends! Check out your local vegan meet-up on facebook....oh yeah, maybe get a facebook first so we can be facebook friends :)
Hugs and love!!!!
-BGS
Oh Amy I'm so sorry :( Argh it does hurt and it's unfair and you want to scream and rage and just UGH! My breakup bandaids are friends around me, gin or your drink of choice, bad crime/detective novels and Britsh comedy. Yours might be slightly different but I can't emphasise enough how important it is to have friends or family or SOMEONE around. Give yourself time to just hate everything and hide away, that is valuable, and then make sure you do come out of hiding because that's where all the good things happen. Thinking of you, remember theres always VegWeb if you need somewhere to go!
That so sucks.
My only advice for trying to feel better is to do something special for you, see your friends/family as much as you can, go outside of your house just because you can, and dress up like it's a special occasion, even if you're just going to the store. Nice clothes make me feel nice.
oh, Amy, that really does suck but I'm sure you're strong enough to get through this. If he left you without explaining what was even wrong in your relationship it sounds like he just wasn't prepared to put any effort into it himself, and you deserve better.
Keep your family and friends close, and focus on doing things for you! Even though it's going to be really tough, you've got to know you're better off without someone who could walk away leaving you with debt, without a care for your well-being...
And if nothing's working, remember you can always come bitch to vegweb and we've got your back! : )
Amy,
I am so sorry. Healing from a break-up after so many years is especially hard. Relationships are built on a foundation of healthy, loving communication. Supported by a nurturing network of family and friends who know you best. Without these a relationship can be emotionally destructive and ultimately die. Be glad that you realize this now, and not many years later after becoming a costly divorce statistic.
Stay active, and focused and surround yourself with loving people and in nurturing environments. I don't think we live too far from each other. If you want to hang out, catch a movie, try an awesome new vegan restaurant, go for a hike, or just talk, let me know.
Thank you all so much for your kind words and support... Me and my bro might take some train adventures to both san diego and LA so my so cal buddies, i will let you know and maybe we can grab some food or something :)
Well i looked at kelly blue book and the car my x drove is finally worth almost what is owed on it so if anything my loss will be minimal... i also got him a motorcycle that is in my name and paid off so i plan on selling it and putting it towards my credit card bills...
thank god i have the support of my family right now... erik took the bed and my gma bought me a brand new one today :) she is also gonna help me try to find a way to consolidate my debt...
i wish i didn't love this jerk so much but i wonder if i truly loved him or just loved his company... i am still really hurt and depressed but i think i can make it to work tomorrow my bro and sis have been keeping me company all day...
i love u all thank you for making me happy at this awful time in my life <3
Please make it to work tomorrow, in the very least it will get you out of the house and give you a sense of purpose.
That's great news about the car and motorcycle. My brother was in a similar situation a few years ago, he took out a loan a car for his girlfriend, they broke up but had the understanding she would still make the payments, she obviously didn't and my brother was scared of the car being taken away and of his credit. My mom paid the late payments and my brother sold the car ASAP. It was the best option, I hope it works for you.
Time will heal everything, you'll make it through this and then you'll realize what everyone thought about him. Relationships that take away your friends and family are never worth it!
oh, amy. Not sure how I missed this. I'm so sorry for you. It really must be absolute crap, but like the others have said you will get through this.
How lucky you are to have good family to help you out....and you always have your friends on VW too. Really if you want to talk yu know there's always gonna be lots of people on here that will listen
i wish i didn't love this jerk so much but i wonder if i truly loved him or just loved his company...
This is a very important thing you just said. You needed someone and he was there. But that doesn't necessarily mean he was the only one. Somewhere inside you are aware of this. Congratulations, you have taken a tiny, vital step toward healing.
((Amy)) ;)b :bear2:
i wish i didn't love this jerk so much but i wonder if i truly loved him or just loved his company...
This is a very important thing you just said. You needed someone and he was there. But that doesn't necessarily mean he was the only one. Somewhere inside you are aware of this. Congratulations, you have taken a tiny, vital step toward healing.
((Amy)) ;)b :bear2:
yeah, i was just thinking this.
i'm so sorry!!! boys suck!! but there are some good ones out there so just keep looking! and look at it this way: better it happened now rather than in 20 years after marriage, kids, houses, pets, etc. keep your chin up. we all love you!
I know how you feel. I think my college bf dumped me after 4 years. I really thought it was the end of the world at the time, but my life actually got SO much better after he was gone. There is so much you can do...the world is yours now! Make the most of it! I bet you'll be looking back at this time one day soon (or later) and wonder why you were ever with him for so long.
I really think things happen for a reason, and if you were meant to be together, you would be, but you are not. This means that something bigger and better is waiting for you (gosh, that sounds dirty, but not what I meant!) that you never would have found/done WITH him in the picture.
love to you!!!!
something bigger and better is waiting for you
The best advice of the thread!!!! : D
L2A wins this thread! ; )
OH honey! I'm so sorry! Is there anything I can do? Do you need some vegan cookies or brownies ASAP? I can't imagine the pain you must be feeling... I'm here if you ever need to talk.
P.S. WHAT A FUCKING LOSER AND COWARD HE IS FOR LEAVING YOU WITH THE CAR!!! I'm so sorry!
One more very important thing I must add:
HE DID NOT DESERVE YOU.
YOU WILL FIND ANOTHER SUPER AMAZING VEGAN GUY TO LOVE!! Think of this as a rough patch with a VERY SWEET ENDING!
i wish i didn't love this jerk so much but i wonder if i truly loved him or just loved his company...
This is a very important thing you just said. You needed someone and he was there. But that doesn't necessarily mean he was the only one. Somewhere inside you are aware of this. Congratulations, you have taken a tiny, vital step toward healing.
((Amy)) ;)b :bear2:
Awww thanx i love u!
Awww thanks all of you... You all really mean the world to me even though i've never met any of you... Thanks for being there and if I'm on here crying by my lonesome and I see someone on expect a PM...
I did go to work today and it was very hard... I removed the pic I had hanging of him immediately so that helped... I told a few people at work and they have all been super cool and supportive... especially when i cut them off like mid-sentence and say... crap no more talking, come back later unless you want to see me cry... i'm pretty ugly when i cry LOL
but honestly thank you from the bottom of my little vegan heart <3
Go go Amy! It is weird at first not having that go-to person but you will find that if he really wasn't right for you - and I suspect from what you've been saying he wasn't - you will bounce back very quickly. I recommend a good, light-hearted book and a hot chocolate when you're feeling crappy :)
Just wanted to stop by with a hug for you today. I hope you feel stronger each day and know that you have TONS of support and people who love/care about you! You are SO much more than him! (((Amy)))
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