Open letters
Seeing as we've got confessions and problems and issues springing up in threads all over the shop, I thought it might be interesting to have an open letter thread. Cathartic, perhaps. From your mother ruining your wedding, to your boyfriend who can't stop peeing on the toilet seat, or even that guy on the bus who kept making that annoying noise with his mouth, get it out here.
I'll get the ball rolling.
To my dear darling boyfriend,
Just because you are technically 'clean' when you come out the shower, it doesn't mean that I am okay with using the same towel you've been rubbing all over yourself for a month. I know you have others. I bought you two myself. Drag them out from the murky depths of the laundry basket, wash them and allow me the temporary use of a clean one.
Love, Cat
Dear kb,
:lol: :ok!: Really..maybe...someday?!??!
Dear ac,
Thanks for dreaming about me with dating, chasing, and murdering involved. It sounds like it was a good time.
Love,
hh
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Dear sb,
Your letter to alcohol sounded nice, so I poured myself a drink right when the phone rang. I continued to drink and told my friend about how when belly dancers get too close to me I get nervous. He decided I need to go to a strip club for reverse aversion thearpy. I've never been to one, but I don't think a lap dance will help me all that much. Lesson learned: don't drink and phone.
Love,
An uptight hh
dear ya'll,
let's do a vegweb bike across the country! we can do it through bike and build so we can still get our stuff carried for us... but yeah.
love, hesp.
p.s. p is crazy.
Dear Stomach,
I've already fed you pizza, yogurt, blueberries, and flax crackers. Why are you still hungry?
Your Colleague,
The Brain
Dear Indian food,
Thanks for tasting good. You rule.
<3,
Chuckles
dear self,
please permit me to wake up and get out of the house by 6:30am tomorrow so that i can actually go to the farmers market to get fresh veggies and fruit at a hopefully cheaper price than the grocery store.
thnks,
self
dear farmers market,
why do you have to start at 7 am only on tues, thurs, and sat? i might be able to get up for a 7 am run to the market on a SUNDAY... but those other days are just not compatible with my life. also, you are located so far away! lame!
-me
Dear Indian food,
Thanks for tasting good. You rule.
<3,
Chuckles
Dear CK-
I LOVE indian food and make a killer indian tofu tikka masala.....
If you ask I might supply you with the recipe.
PB
dear hh,
did you feed your stomach the same flax crackers you sent me? those were mighty tasty w/ hummus.
love, hesp.
Dear PB,
May I have the tofu tikka masala recipe? pretty pretty please?????
Dear Indian food,
Thanks for tasting good. You rule.
<3,
Chuckles
Dear Charbot,
what did you end up eating?
Love,
IndianfoodloverBase
dear michael,
i was having an amazing day gardening, creating plant holders, cleaning, making the living room look awesome, sewing, talking to my dad, taking pictures, and eating and amazing breafast at 1 pm... why did you have to come home and ruin my awesome day.
love, your lover
Dear SB,
Please refer to the Lunch suggestions thread for a breakdown of what El Chucko had for lunch.
Sincerely,
NewfoundIndianFoodLoverCharbot
(Also) Dear Pooh Bear,
I already resonded to this in the lunch suggestions thread, but I will go ahead and respond here as well.
Please, do send the recipe! ;D
CK
Dear Printer,
Why did you have to break and cause Allen to stay later? Didn't you know that I highly value my quiet time here at this deity forsaken job? Do you want me to pull an Office Space on you? Because that's what will happen the next time this happens.
You've been warned, printer.
C.
Dear Allen,
WTF is your deal, anyway? How long have you been doing this job? Oh...since around the time I was born?! And you still don't get it?! Get some therapy, and while you're at it, get me some earplugs or a new mp3 player so I don't have to listen to you anymore. Or maybe a sewing kit so I can sew your mouth shut.
Chuck
Dear crazy woman down the street,
Shut up! Stop screaming all the time. Everyone thinks that you are insane. Also stop sending all of your dogs out unsupervised at 5:30 in the morning and allowing them to bark continuously and then finally screaming to get them all back in the house. I pity your poor kid. :'( You are not a nice person.
PS...do not hit on my son...it is very creepy...young guys do not think you are hot..I think my sons reply was that he wanted to puke!
Dear wedding photographer,
Please fix your website. It's hard to navigate and it crashes randomly. I'm trying to choose the photos for my album by your deadline. And by the way, thanks for not telling me that I was responsible for choosing my own photos. Luckily I found out by accident (a month after the wedding), since the album has already been paid for. I hope my mom didn't spend too much money on you, because your photos are not good enough to be worth the trouble. If I meet anyone else who is getting married in Flagstaff, AZ, I'll make sure to tell them which photographer not to get.
Regards,
PG
Dear Catski,
Thanks for starting this thread. I feel a little better now.
Love,
PG
Dear hesp,
No. I got a Excalibur 5-tray with timer while you were gone. The flax crackers were my maiden dehydrating effort.
Good! I'm happy to know the package arrived. I'm sorry there were so many seeds and things that you were probably stuck eating the whole way anyway.
Love,
TheCrackerLady
Dear Governor Schwarzenegger,
Stop sucking.
Thank you,
An Unloyal Constituent
dear ya'll,
let's do a vegweb bike across the country! we can do it through bike and build so we can still get our stuff carried for us... but yeah.
love, hesp.
p.s. p is crazy.
Dear the ya'll that hesp was referring to,
Could we? I have some questions regarding this proposition. It sounds mighty great though.
faithfully yours, AC
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Dear CK,
When are you going to start looking for another job?
your friend, AC
dear permanent grin and catski... in reply...
i also felt better. after writing my letter, i fixed the problem, thereby going back to an awesome day. thank you internet for solving my problems!
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