Have You Gained Weight?
Posted by Tweety on Oct 03, 2007 · Member since Jan 2003 · 3135 posts
is what I heard from an acquaintence I haven't seen in a while.
"Yes, I have. Have you gotten senile in your old age and forgotten your manners?"
I've been eating nothing but vegan since Saturday when my diet began. Sigh............I am 20 lbs. overweight, but how rude. LOL
I don't like going out to eat with my grandma because she makes comments REALLY loudly about overweight people even if they're in the next booth. As in, "I hope she sticks to a salad because she sure should be on a diet" or "Man, you can sure tell why all the kids in that family are fat...look at the parents". Mean while I'm sitting there red-faced trying to get her to be quiet. I should say that my grandma is not that small herself and has no business talking about another's appearance.
There's a Victorian English proverb that should be displayed in every home by law: "Personal remarks are odious."
Thanks for the support guys. I guess it stung extra because I started a diet this week.
I do make it a personal habit never to talk about other's weight, overweight or underweight, unless someone mentions they've been on a diet and I always compliment them on their weight loss.
Maybe though he did me a favor by keeping it real and keeping me motivated.
Oh man, do I look like a doofus -- I didn't even take into account YOUR gender. ??? But who knows? Maybe he does think you're cute. I seriously hope I didn't just dig myself a bigger hole.
Oh man, do I look like a doofus -- I didn't even take into account YOUR gender. ??? But who knows? Maybe he does think you're cute. I seriously hope I didn't just dig myself a bigger hole.
Our Tweety is very longsuffering, cutething. I did the same thing about a year ago...assumed "he" was a "she" and he didn't even call me on it! VegWebbers are the greatest.
Love ya, Tweety. ;)
The same thing happened to me a few years back. I ran into a girl from highschool on my 22nd birthday. The first thing she said to me was "wow you've gained weight" I had an ED in highschool and was under weight but it is still in my mind and I was depressed when she said that to me. People are rude.
The same thing happened to me a few years back. I ran into a girl from highschool on my 22nd birthday. The first thing she said to me was "wow you've gained weight" I had an ED in highschool and was under weight but it is still in my mind and I was depressed when she said that to me. People are rude.
I seriously remind myself of that statement quite often... When someone does something mean-spirited or just impolite, reminding myself that people are often rude (as a general statement), I actually find it comforting, because it helps me realize that I shouldn't take it personally. It's not me; people are just rude. 8)
I suppose I sound like a bit of a misanthrope by saying that (and I often am ;)), but the older I get, the more true it seems... Don't get me wrong--I run into very nice & awesome people who inspire me quite often, but the general population frustrates me on a regular basis.
The same thing happened to me a few years back. I ran into a girl from highschool on my 22nd birthday. The first thing she said to me was "wow you've gained weight" I had an ED in highschool and was under weight but it is still in my mind and I was depressed when she said that to me. People are rude.
I seriously remind myself of that statement quite often... When someone does something mean-spirited or just impolite, reminding myself that people are often rude (as a general statement), I actually find it comforting, because it helps me realize that I shouldn't take it personally. It's not me; people are just rude. 8)
I suppose I sound like a bit of a misanthrope by saying that (and I often am ;)), but the older I get, the more true it seems... Don't get me wrong--I run into very nice & awesome people who inspire me quite often, but the general population frustrates me on a regular basis.
I hear ya Jessacita, people are incredibly rude, and as you mentioned I often too run into really awesome people, but in general people can be incredibly rude...its kinda irritating only because I make it a point to be really nice to people because I feel we should all be treated kindly, but grrr its really upsetting, kinda makes you wonder why you are being nice if people aren't going to reciprocate...sighhh but, can't win em all :(
Thanks for the support guys. I guess it stung extra because I started a diet this week.
I do make it a personal habit never to talk about other's weight, overweight or underweight, unless someone mentions they've been on a diet and I always compliment them on their weight loss.
Maybe though he did me a favor by keeping it real and keeping me motivated.
No they DIDN"T do you a favor with their big mouths. Don't ever think like that.
The rules (or I should say the good manners of this world) in this world is if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all.
Don't let anybody speak to you like that. Do do something, say something back.
Anybody who cares about you doesn't bring you down they build you up.
ST I have to agree with you. There's a huge difference between "tough love" telling it like it is, but being a friend, and just being rude. And when you hear tough love, you recognize it because it speaks truth. Rudeness is also easily identified as what it is by the effect it has.
What I'm noticing is that the motivation for making nasty comments like that is generally to make those people feel better about themselves by belittling you. How pathetic is that, that they need to be nasty in order to feel good?
People who haven't seen me in a year or so always make comments about my weight. I'm aware that I've put on a few pounds, but it is necessary to mention it? I usually joke about it, but it sucks sometimes. I have been working on getting rid of some of this excess flab
ST I have to agree with you. There's a huge difference between "tough love" telling it like it is, but being a friend, and just being rude. And when you hear tough love, you recognize it because it speaks truth. Rudeness is also easily identified as what it is by the effect it has.
I agree. There are people in my life that I expect to hold me accountable, my family(who always used to say "you're too skinny!" and a couple of close friends. Those are the one's who should be doing tough love.
ST I have to agree with you. There's a huge difference between "tough love" telling it like it is, but being a friend, and just being rude. And when you hear tough love, you recognize it because it speaks truth. Rudeness is also easily identified as what it is by the effect it has.
I agree. There are people in my life that I expect to hold me accountable, my family(who always used to say "you're too skinny!" and a couple of close friends. Those are the one's who should be doing tough love.
That's not tough love either. It has absolutely nothing to do with it. It's a bunch of people who think they can say anything they want with themselves being immune to it.
This is my opinion on it.
The ol timers from Europe when they do it I really don't think they know it's bad manners. But still tell them.
If anybody else does it it's to make you feel bad.
Not even family members or friends should be saying that. Remember what I said people who care about you build you up not down.
'
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH!
My downstairs neighbour actually LAID HER HAND ON MY STOMACH this morning on the street and asked me if I was pregnant!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I looked her up and down and said, "NO, I'M JUST FAT!"
HONESTLY!! PEOPLE!!
This time DH was with me. He is slowly learning that no, I'm not paranoid, it's just that Spanish women are stupid and rude, and me being foreign they think they can take all kinds of liberties and I won't know the difference. Like, I have no feelings.
However this is the city that gave bullfighting as a sport to the world in the 14th century. Apparently bulls have no physical perception of pain, either--to hear them tell it. So it's OK if I act like a real cow!
I rest my case.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH!
My downstairs neighbour actually LAID HER HAND ON MY STOMACH this morning on the street and asked me if I was pregnant!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I looked her up and down and said, "NO, I'M JUST FAT!"
HONESTLY!! PEOPLE!!
I'm so sorry for you Yabbitgirl! Maybe you should get a t-shirt on that says "no soy embarazada. no me toques por favor."
WOW. I'm so sorry...
For some reason people like to think that other people's weight is in the public domain. I get comments on my weight all the time too... :(
What grinds my beans is that I carry most of my weight in the thigh and derriere. I do NOT have a potbelly, and I do NOT look "pregnant." I was wearing trousers and a blouse, not one of the highwaisted tops that are fashionable now and might make people wonder!
(In fashion terms, Spain is doing 1972 right about now.)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH!
My downstairs neighbour actually LAID HER HAND ON MY STOMACH this morning on the street and asked me if I was pregnant!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I looked her up and down and said, "NO, I'M JUST FAT!"
HONESTLY!! PEOPLE!!
This time DH was with me. He is slowly learning that no, I'm not paranoid, it's just that Spanish women are stupid and rude, and me being foreign they think they can take all kinds of liberties and I won't know the difference. Like, I have no feelings.
However this is the city that gave bullfighting as a sport to the world in the 14th century. Apparently bulls have no physical perception of pain, either--to hear them tell it. So it's OK if I act like a real cow!
I rest my case.
Did you ask her never to do that again?
Did you ask her never to do that again?
I was so angry I didn't trust myself after telling her "no, I'm just FAT". With younger women I have been known to say "don't touch the merchandise" but I think in my neighbour's case the "killer look" may have gotten the point across.
That killer look has been in the family for 3 generations...and it stops here.
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