Ugh. (please help.)
Alright, I'm having an issue.
Since I was about 7, I've had a binge eating disorder. When I was 14 I weighed 332 pounds, and although I'm six feet tall (I was about 5'10 then), that's still pretty big. Around that time I started Weight Watchers, with which I started losing weight and liking it. Then I stopped eating meat. Then dairy. Then I went raw. Then I quit, and went back to vegetarianism again. Then I went back to veganism, and then...
You get the point.
I've been pretty much 100% vegan for about four months now, and although it's keeping me at a steady weight(I'm still overweight, but it's not bad), I still over eat. It's like when I've still got food on my plate, leaving it isn't an option. I have always been this way, and I know it's a problem.
In trying unsuccessfully to fix the problem, I've thrown myself off kilter: instead of working on both health consciousness AND portion control, I've completely ignored the latter and just got Hitler on myself about what I can and can't eat.
Here's what's made me completely and utterly aware that there is a problem: When I lived by myself, this worked out fine. I could eat healthy and eat a lot. No problem. Now, upon moving in with my fiancee, I have rediscovered the art of snacking. Fries, popcorn(even with that stupid fake butter crap; he loves it.), chips and salsa, potato chips, fruit snacks, homemade sweets.... bah. I make sure that pretty much all of it is natural, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm eating way too much, not to mention my sodium intake... I don't even LIKE salt.
It's like "all-natural" has been a band-aid on a problem I've had since childhood, and now I don't know what to do exactly...
Breaking habits sucks, but eating so much leaves me with little energy, and slowly I've noticed myself gaining weight. It's like I just can't say no to food, and it's really... alarming. I wish I had support from my fiancee, but he eats until he's full and then stops... and then he snacks on lots of salty, sweet, hedonistic goodness. Which he offers me. Which I take without thinking, even if I'm far from hungry.
Also, I don't chew my food well. In a nutshell: my eating habits are crap.
I want to get back to a daily yoga practice, but I'm finding it difficult to motivate myself with such little energy.
Snacking is important to him, and I want to be able to let him do what he wants and take care of myself.
I need to deal with this-- I've been putting it off for the last two years. I eat healthy food, but I want to actually BE healthy.
This is horrendously embarrassing for me to admit, and it's very... hard. I'm going to talk to my fiancee tonight about this problem, and I know he'll help me in whatever ways he can. But right now, I would really appreciate advice on eating habits and... just how to overcome this in general, I guess.
Self-motivation isn't necessarily my strong suit, but I know I can do this. I just need support.
there is an ED thread... maybe u could find more help there: http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=15671.0
you are the only person that can control this... u have to be strong... there will always be food, people, situations around you that you can't control... until you get the willpower on your own to change things nothing will get changed... it's all you
I will be of no help, but I wanted to let you know that I'm the exact same way....I eat constantly, I think about eating constantly and I don't know what portion control means....
I am currently doing weight watchers, for the 3rd time....and have lost 14.8 lbs since Feb - super slowly, but I think that's ok for me....
I wish someone could wave their magic wand and either speed up my metabolism or knock the food obsession out of my head....
My husband is skinny and can eat as much as he wants and really doesn't care that I'm a little chunky, so he's no help....
It's just frustrating, and I know exactly where you are coming from....weight will always be a struggle for me, but at least I'm healthy now - or a hell of a lot healthier than I used to be....
It's difficult to actually think of it as a disorder though.
I know I called it that, but it still doesn't register that way.
My fiancee has told me that's what it is, and so has my best friend, but it's just strange for me to actually see it that way.
I know it has to be me who decides to make the change and me who develops the willpower.
I guess I'm just scared.
Changing something so habitual after 10, 11 years is a really scary thought.
Also, erinmonster, I'm kind of in the same boat with my fiancee.
He's overweight, but really doesn't give a damn. And he likes it that I'm "thick".
It's good that you're losing though. Even if it's slow, it still means you're getting somewhere.
Maybe I should consider looking back into weight watchers. We're completely broke right now, but there may be something I could do.
well if your both need to lose some pounds you should go at it together! for me i find that not making a huge batch of something helps... only make enough for what you think is okay/ reasonable to eat... i had/ have the problem of always "having to eat whatever's on my plate" (i would get in trouble if i didn't eat everything when i was younger), that is a hard habit to break... so just put what you feel is a decent amount on your plate and stop there... good luck :)
I'm in the same situation. When I went vegan about 10 years ago I lost 80 pounds over the next 3 years or so. Unfortunately, somewhere between marriage, pregnancy, divorce, and switching to a desk job I gained it all back. I am slowly losing weight again, and I will jump start that process more once I get some way to exercise at home. Right now, I'm trying to improve my eating by binge eating things like baby carrots instead of chips. I joined a CSA to force more vegetables into the house. Forcing portion control has never really worked for me. It seems to make my binge eating worse. I think we need to start our own support thread.
i agree with maybe your "own" thread... also keep trigger foods out of your house! chips, candy, crap that you can easily heat up... this helps me, well because i am way too lazy to cook up food just to inhale it and i am way too lazy to go drive somewhere and look like a crazy person buying a ton of crap food.
I just wish I would make my ex stop buying junk food for my daugter, but there's not much I can do about it. I'm going to try to get a freezer, and keep healthy meals on hand. Then when I have a busy day and no time to cook, I won't have to go to the store for something quick, which usually results in a junk food splurge.
wow, we live like parallel lives. ive always been a binge eater, not even chewing food. my family used to call me the vacuum cleaner. i still struggle with it every single day and i always will. what helps me is a schedule. when i really stick to it, i feel the healthiest. i schedule a specific time to eat breakfast, lunch, dinner, and one snack. maybe it would be helpful to set an alarm on your phone telling you when to eat. and dont eat any other time besides your scheduled times. thats the only way i am able to keep myself on track, otherwise, i just eat mindlessly and just like you i cant say no. it's like my body and my mind arent even connected.
just stay strong, make a schedule and stick to it. do not cheat, because it will lead to more binges. and i hate to use this to compare, but it's like in AA meetings (like ive ever been to one, but i hear it all the time), a recovering alcoholic cant just say "ok, ill just have one drink" because one drink leads to another which leads to another and before you know it, you've drank the most youve ever drank in your life. so you cant just say "ok, ill cheat this one time" because it'll take VERY long to bounce back. trust me, i know. ive been there and am still trying to figure this all out.
best of luck!
Wow, I never would have guessed that anyone else on this site had a problem like this... it makes me feel a lot less embarrassed.
I've been doing better with chewing, but I had the same problem, veganhippie. It's hard to make yourself chew, unless you're really thinking about it, and I find that I think about what I'm doing moreso when a, I exercise and b, I actually cook the food.
I'm going to try to get a freezer, and keep healthy meals on hand. Then when I have a busy day and no time to cook, I won't have to go to the store for something quick, which usually results in a junk food splurge.
I like your freezer idea;
If you happen to live near a Wal-Mart, they have Amy's Organics frozen meals, which cost somewhere around $2.50 a box. For a good meal that's actually filling (I usually eat an apple or some greens with mine), that's cheap. Some of them are dairy and gluten free, too, which is good for us vegans.
My binge eating tends to get worse around my period, and I think that's why it's so bad right now.
But honestly, I think I'm finally ready to deal with this thing; I've been skating around it for two years now; I'm really gonna do it.
Hopefully it won't be as difficult as it seems.
also keep trigger foods out of your house! chips, candy, crap that you can easily heat up...
I wish I could, but the hubby has to have his snacktime. I'm going to discuss that with him tonight; he really likes popcorn and we have an air popper, so I'm thinking maybe we can find some sort of flavouring we agree on. I hate that fake butter crap; I prefer mine plain.
Honestly though, we don't have money to waste on snack foods... five or so dollars is really all we should be spending on snacks every grocery trip, given how constricted our funds are currently, but he gets really upset if I try to be all Hitler about how much we spend on the stuff.
Boy's gotta eat, I guess.
:P
Being vegan has been amazing for me. I limit myself to whole foods, only things that I can make myself. This eliminates chips and other packaged foods. If I want something salty, I do popcorn with nutritional yeast and salt, popped with minimal oil on the stovetop. Of course I will occasionally splurge and get a bag of chips or something, but then I eat the whole thing. I have to be careful, and usually it's easier to just not have these things around.
You say that you keep eating after you're full, but think of eating something that was just whole vegetables and tofu--like steamed broccoli and baked tofu. You couldn't really eat this beyond full, because you'd feel miserable. If you're eating fiber-dense, low calorie foods, then you basically can't overeat without feeling like you're going to explode. Overeating on calorie-rich foods like cookies and chips is SO EASY to go if you're not paying attention.
That said, I can still get plenty of calories from homemade baked goods, and right now I'm in a cut-back phase and I'm trying not to bake so much. I reduced my running mileage significantly, so I just have to be careful not to gain weight. Right now I'm sticking to vegetables, fruits, beans, tofu/seitan/tempeh and grains. I'm not messing around with sugar, and when I'm more comfortable with my weight (or I get my mileage back up), I'll reintroduce it. I do miss my cookies!
I also went through the weird phase when my boyfriend and I moved in together. We have very different eating styles, and at first this was hard to adjust to. Then I just decided he could eat when he wants, I'll eat when I want, however we have to have dinner together. That's really the only rule. Snacking and whatever is everyone's choice.
The last thing I can say is exercise! Make your yoga the top of your priorities. I run 6-7 days a week, and I can't imagine life without it. It allows me to love food (and I sure do), and eat mostly what I want. It has freed me to make food choices and to stop worrying so much about calories. You'll have so much more energy, too, so then you will want to do more. You can do it! You've already taken the awesome step of committing to veganism--the hard part's over.
I think if you're open, then your husband will understand why you need to get rid of the junk food. And honestly, even if he isn't overweight, he doesn't need to be eating so much junk. My bf is 6'2" and 140 pounds and skinny as a rail and can eat anything he wants. He could eat junk food all day if he wanted. But he feels so much better eating a whole foods diet and not snacking much. It's something you 2 could do together, to stop eating junk and making take walks together or hike together or rock climb or whatever you can think of. Get active together, and you'll forget about sitting around and munching.
Air popper+spray Braggs liquid aminos+nutritional yeast=delicious popcorn, low fat
Yum.
The last thing I can say is exercise! Make your yoga the top of your priorities. I run 6-7 days a week, and I can't imagine life without it. It allows me to love food (and I sure do), and eat mostly what I want. It has freed me to make food choices and to stop worrying so much about calories. You'll have so much more energy, too, so then you will want to do more. You can do it! You've already taken the awesome step of committing to veganism--the hard part's over.
Exercise has always seemed so daunting to me, because I've been overweight since I was in the second grade.
I've always, always always wanted to run, but the idea of jiggling all over the place around the neighbourhood makes me self conscious, and I can't run for very long periods of time without getting short of breath. Like, I can last 2-3 minutes at a slow ish pace before I'm like, done. I'm guessing it has to be a daily thing that you build on?
I do love cycling though (unfortunately I haven't got access to my orange beauty right now) and yoga too. I did a practice today, and I'm going to make it a daily thing.
I also went through the weird phase when my boyfriend and I moved in together. We have very different eating styles, and at first this was hard to adjust to. Then I just decided he could eat when he wants, I'll eat when I want, however we have to have dinner together. That's really the only rule. Snacking and whatever is everyone's choice.
I like that idea. He's doing veganism with me, which means the world, and being a bitch about his snacks would just be awful. We already eat dinner together, and lunch when he's off work.
It's something you 2 could do together, to stop eating junk and making take walks together or hike together or rock climb or whatever you can think of. Get active together, and you'll forget about sitting around and munching.
He's expressed tons of interest in getting active with me (partially so sex won't be as physically awkward), and if I take the initiative to go for walks with him every day and such, he'll be happy. He really does need to get moving, and so do I.
I really wish I could rock climb, but to be frank, my upper body strength is non-existant. I LOVE climbing trees, but I have to use my legs or I can't get myself up.
Iv'e got strong legs and marshmallow arms.
I naturally have strong legs, too, that's why running is so important to me. I got into rock climbing because I had NO upper body strength, and it took a couple of weeks of trying just to stay on the wall. I'm still not very good, but it's helping so much. I'm trying to do pushups, too. It's funny, because I can run a marathon, but I'm proud to be able to do 10 pushups! (did this last night!!!).
As for running, if it's not for you, then that's okay. But if you think it's something you want to try, I have some advice. First, wear 2 sports bras. I'm a DD, and I strap them down big time to prevent jiggling. Also, if you can run only 2 minutes at a time, then do that. Run 2 minutes, walk 8 minutes. Run 2, walk 8, run 2, walk 8. You've just done 30 minutes of exercise. The next week run 3 minutes, walk 7, etc. Go until you can run 9 minutes, walk 1. Finally, you will be able to cut out the walk breaks and run 30 minutes straight. It might take a couple of months, but that's really not that long to be able to run 30 minutes! You can do it if you want to. If you're not interested, then don't force yourself.
I can barely do a push up either, so good job on being able to do ten ^^. I'll see if there's rock climbing available anywhere, but even if there isn't, daily yoga should help some with my wimpy arms.
I feel so much better having read this thread and the one about people who thought they were too fat to be vegans (or had people tell them that). I'm a stay-at-home mom to an almost-three-year-old boy who unfortunately is a carb fiend like his mother. I do freelance writing and translating, which is more sitting around. I'm wanting to take up running not b/c I love it but b/c it seems like one of the most efficient workouts, and I'm trying really hard to watch not just the contents of what I eat but also the portions. What seems to help me, at least right now (b/c that's always subject to change!) is to pay attention to my mood *before* I eat. Am I eating b/c I'm hungry? Bored? Lonely? I may still eat even if the answer is one of the last two, but at least I'm being honest with myself and that's a start for me. I'm also trying to concentrate not on the past or the long-term, but just today. Even just the next meal. Yeah, I screwed up last weekend and ate a burrito with cheese, etc. that probably could have fed three people. But that meal is over and I won't ever eat it again, so on to the next one!
I hope this made sense. It's nice to feel not quite so alone.
I forgot to add that I LOVE to bake. If I make a lot of something, I and the kiddo will scarf it all down. So I'm trying really hard to wait to bake until I have a concrete reason to: friends coming over, etc. I'll also bake something like muffins and save four or five for our little family of three, and then take the rest to people at church, esp. those that I don't get a chance to talk to much. It makes them feel special, and keeps us from eating it all ourselves.
Ever thought of joining a support group like Overeaters Anonymous.
Anyway, I just want to say that you're amazing and very beautiful.
I just wanted to say hi! And that I totally get where you are coming from.
Growing up my parents taught me to "feel better" and "treat" myself with food, especially sweets. And naturally with an Italian family, they always encourage you to eat extra large portion sizes, and ask what's wrong with you if you don't finish your whole plate. They bought us lots of snacks which were usually unrestricted. So you can imagine how easy it could be to get into a pattern of binge eating.
When I was younger it didn't really show because I was on a competitive swim team and I would practice for an hour about 5-6x a week. When I got older and I was no longer swimming I struggled a lot with my weight in high school. I became a closet eater because I was so ashamed of my eating habbits, I would skip meals because I knew I would just go home and binge until I felt like puking anyways. Being hypoglycemic this was a bad idea, my blood sugar would rise and drop immediately after a meal causing a cyclic binging pattern. My senior year I gained 45 lbs. And then decided to stop eating all together.
Since high school I haven't had a healthy eating pattern. I either eat way too much or I don't eat enough.
When I went vegan last June, it was almost freeing. I was at the time starving myself, and struggling with learning how to eat normal portion sizes. I don't count my calories anymore, and I don't worry about binges because I allow myself to eat normally.
It took a lot of work. You really have to be mindful of what you eat, and make the choice not to over indulge.
I won't say I'm perfect but I've come a long way. I still need to exercise more, but once I get into a routine it's pretty easy to keep.
One tip for your significant other is to be honest with him. I tell my husband that he better quit eating the junk because I don't want him to become over weight, and not just for superficial reasons, you have to think about all the health implications that can occur from being over weight. A lot of people in my husband's family are obese and they are diabetic, have horrible back problems, coronary disease, etc... Also as a dental hygienist student it drives me up a wall when he eats sugary foods, he has a high cavity risk and he just loves his sugar!
One motivating tool I used was www.mypyramidtracker.gov
Track both your intakes for a week, input the data, and then let the website analyze it.
He didn't believe me that the reason for his high blood pressure was his diet, when I did that tracker and it came out that on some days he was eating 3-4x the daily amount of sodium he was in shock!
Sorry for the long post! :blankstare:
i struggle with snacking, it use to be mindless snacking but I've been losing weight for about 4 months now and it makes me really aware of every time I'm eating. I suggest that for snacks you limit yourself to fruits and veggies, you can eat until your stuffed and you haven't really eaten that many calories or anything bad. Don't buy the snack foods! If I buy chips or larabars I eat them, I can't help myself! I also have always had a problem with carbs. I eat so much of it, I love bread and pasta and rice. So when I first started changing my diet I completely took out the bread, noodles/pasta, rice, and potatoes for two weeks. Then I slowly added them back in. I also had to do this for added sugar, which I am still avoiding as much as I can.
even though on normal days i eat the right amount, every week (usually weekends) i mess up pretty bad. so i know i have some work to do. thats why right now i am working on becoming very very aware of everything I eat and being thankful for the food I have. I also think therapy might be something you can look into. I personally am better working things through on my own (I tried therapy and it wasn't for me) but it might really help you to overcome the eating. The therapists would talk to you which talking about things can already help you make the change but they might also help you fill in that spot you have for food. When you stop snacking you might be leaving yourself with an empty spot that could easily be filled up again with the snacking. Try and find something to replace the snacking; a hobby like walking or hiking, gardening, reading. Something that takes your mind off food.
Remember that its a process, and that changing your mind frame about eating is the goal, not just the physical act of stopping the overeating.
Many studies have shown that the best way to lose weight (that works for everyone) is to write everything down. If I lived alone, I'd post it on my fridge. You could keep a journal in a notebook by the fridge though. It helps you track your bad habits. It's amazing how predictable our eating habits are.
I did this when I tried to lose weight a couple of years ago. I kept everything in an Excel Spreadsheet, wrote down the portion size and how many calories, and it would tally it automatically as I went through the day. Then, at the end of the day I could see how many calories I'd eaten, and if I could have a snack. It was so useful, and it made losing weight incredibly easy. I could also add in how much I exercised, how many calories that burned, and I'd subtract that out of my daily total. I love Excel!
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