I just found out I may be bipolar . . .
I know that I haven't posted here often and I tend to just lurk around, but you guys are the only ones that I know to reach out to right now. I read through all the past threads today on depression and bipolar and I feel like y'all will truly understand.
Two years ago, I went into therapy and was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. I started taking low-dosage anti-depression meds about 6 months later. I was doing well and haven't been in therapy for over a year (although I've continued medication). Within the past two months I felt myself spiralling into the deep depression again and I finally went to see a psychiatrist yesterday. She told me that she's not sure if I'm bipolar or if it's just anxiety and depression. I'm starting Cymbalta and sleeping pills and if it's truly bipolar than I will feel more manic than depressed - instead of feeling tired all the time, I'll be wide awake. I've got an appointment to start therapy again with my old therapist later this week.
In the mean time, I'm absolutely terrified - not that I have any control over this - but I don't want to be bipolar! My therapist and I had never discussed that possibility and I was completely side-swiped yesterday. In some respects I can see why she thinks I'm bipolar (excessive spending, the highs), but in other respects, I don't see it at all (I am far more depressed in my everday life). I just don't know what to expect or what I can do . . . I feel completely lost :'(
Does anyone suggestions or thoughts?
Gosh, there are some really really great posts here. First of all, it is so tough not only getting that diagnosis and feeling so alone and freaked out, but also it is really awesome that you're reaching out.
I'm not at all saying that you screwed up (prefacing my next comment): I think it's really good you're getting back into therapy. Drugs can help you manage a chemical imbalance, but therapy is critical in helping you cope and understand what's going on. I agree with what someone else said on here. This is probably actually a good thing, provided it's the proper diagnosis. It's a lot harder to manage something you don't understand. Once you know what's going on, that's a huge help.
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