Posted by Camillus on May 26, 2009 · Member since May 2007 · 1009 posts
This is where people can share memories, stories, and pictures of LucidAnne.
Thank you for gracing us with your presence, Tess. You will be sorely missed.
Posted by Camillus on May 26, 2009 · Member since May 2007 · 1009 posts
I'd like to share a few photos of Tess from a potluck she held at her house. It was such a great time, and Tess' mother and her were great hosts. Tess loved her cupcakes... I seem to have a bunch of pics of her eating without cutlery ;D
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Posted by hespedal on May 26, 2009 · Member since Mar 2006 · 5259 posts
i was just thinking today about how we would be in chat late at night (especially late for her since she was three hours ahead of me) and talk smack about how they used to counsel (or, rather, not counsel...) newly diagnosed type I diabetics.
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Posted by jessesmum on May 26, 2009 · Member since Mar 2006 · 1088 posts
I thought of Tess often today & would tear up. I never had the pleasure of meeting her in person but I will miss her. I miss her compassion, wit & her personality that would always jump off the page when she posted. She always made me smile.
Cam, thanx for posting the pictures. I know everyone in both pictures just from hanging around here & even though I don't post often, you're all a part of me...our own little family.
I am going to make a donation to my local SPCA in Tess's memory.
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Posted by Di on May 26, 2009 · Member since Nov 2006 · 1343 posts
Has anyone let any of Tess's family members know that there is an outpouring of love on VW. I think it would be comforting for family and friends to read our posts and to see how much Tess was loved, admired and missed.
Just a thought.
Hugs Di
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Posted by lubimiller on May 26, 2009 · Member since Mar 2008 · 3602 posts
Has anyone let any of Tess's family members know that there is an outpouring of love on VW. I think it would be comforting for family and friends to read our posts and to see how much Tess was loved, admired and missed.
Just a thought.
Hugs Di
alot of us have posted notes to them on her facebook page
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Posted by hanashi on May 26, 2009 · Member since Nov 2007 · 2533 posts
Along the lines of what Di mentioned...I think it would be a really big statement if we put together an actual album of all the photos everyone has of tess (maybe photobucket?) and post the link on her facebook, or (if anyone has a family member's email) send it directly to them. I've done this sorta thing for a few friends who've died families, and it is always appreciated. I also think it'd show how much her 'online' friends really are affected by her passing.
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Posted by hespedal on May 26, 2009 · Member since Mar 2006 · 5259 posts
Along the lines of what Di mentioned...I think it would be a really big statement if we put together an actual album of all the photos everyone has of tess (maybe photobucket?) and post the link on her facebook, or (if anyone has a family member's email) send it directly to them. I've done this sorta thing for a few friends who've died families, and it is always appreciated. I also think it'd show how much her 'online' friends really are affected by her passing.
i have trina's email (tess's sis). she donated to me for bike and build.
eta: i emailed her and let her know about the threads.
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Posted by Capture on May 27, 2009 · Member since Jul 2007 · 3981 posts
I was just looking through the recipes she submitted and I came across this one :
Canoodle this Noodle!! (Cashew Sesame Noodle)
Haha! It made me laugh so hard because I can almost hear her voice giggling while saying this--her personality really comes through and it's just a recipe title! What a beautiful spirit!
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Posted by geogirl413 on May 27, 2009 · Member since May 2009 · 1 posts
Hi Everyone,
This is Tess' sister here, thanks to Hannah for giving me a link to this thread.
Thanks for all the kind words about Tess. I'll print these out for my mom, she'll be happy to read all about these.
Tessie had a tough go of things the last few days. It was very difficult and her condition just declined - she ended up being intubated and was starting to undergo dialysis. However, her heart stopped during dialysis and they coded her. She was down for over 20 minutes, but they eventually got a heart rhythm back, but it was really only done by the medications (if they were stopped, her heart would also), plus there would have been significant brain damage. Since I'm a nurse and work in an ICU, I was able to realize that there was no hope. We were all able to make it there and shortly thereafter decided to stop life support. I know that Tess wouldn't have wanted to live on a ventilator - what quality of life would that be? She had a very comfortable and peaceful death surrounded by her family.
We knew that this would likely be the outcome, and were preparing ourselves. However, one can never be totally prepared for when it really happens. We are all very sad and trying to pick up the pieces. My mom said that she would like to probably have a memorial potluck or something later on in the summer. I'll let people know once it is set up. Likely will be in the Berkshires. Her obituary is on the Berkshire Eagle newspaper website: berkshireeagle.com under yesterday's paper.
People here would laugh to know this little story: We were out to breakfast on Monday morning with some friends and I had an egg. I held up my fork with egg on it and said "Here Tess, I'm eating an egg for you." About 2 minutes later, bird poop landed on my French Toast - and we were sitting at a table that had an umbrella over it! We never saw the bird, but my friend and I laughed, b/c that is totally a Tessie sense of humor. That makes me realize that she's doing alright out there. I know she's running around with our old dog Sophie, hanging out with our dad (who died 10 years ago this week), and with her friend Nate who passed away a few years ago.
Thanks again for all the kind words and I will be sure to pass on to my mom.
-Trina And like all of you, I loved her Sesame Noodles and other creations....couldn't forget the peanut butter cookies!
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Posted by Charbot Kimzoid on May 27, 2009 · Member since Feb 2008 · 3769 posts
Trina, thank you for posting that. I'm glad that she was in good company in her last moments.
I wrote a song for my cousin and friend who passed away some time ago, and I thought I would share it with everyone.
Ghost There is no greater tragedy than when someone loses their life lest they be one who lived with unbreakable passion There is no greater sadness than when one's heart is not strong enough to bear the love it bestowed
Left empty inside Left with a horde of regret You left us all, but not by your own decision You left us all, but not by your own volition
It is so unfair that I could not save you Indeed, I know that time is too short It's so unfair that I cannot embrace you one last time Life is truly fragile
This has taught me to be as strong as you It reminds me to never lose hope Letting go is the hardest lesson to learn in life, but your memories will remain and they are enough
Your smile could change the world I wish you could change my world one last time With tears in my eyes, you will be missed forever But with a smile on my face, you will be remembered forever.
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Posted by Camillus on May 27, 2009 · Member since May 2007 · 1009 posts
Thank you for the information, and the funny story Trina. The potluck sounds like a great idea. That's a wonderful song CK, thanks for sharing it.
Last fall Tess made a wonderful pan of galumpkis (sp?) and there were some leftover so she sent me home with the whole pyrex dish, and the food... they were delicious even days later. I still have that dish. Maybe for the potluck I'll make something in it, and give it back that way.
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Posted by KissMeKate on May 27, 2009 · Member since Aug 2007 · 7322 posts
I would love to attend a memorial potluck. Let us know when it will be.
I love the bird poop story! ;)b
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Posted by Allychristine on May 27, 2009 · Member since Dec 2007 · 15438 posts
Thank you for sharing, Trina.
And you too, CK.
I wish I could make it to that potluck!
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Posted by greenT on May 27, 2009 · Member since Mar 2008 · 553 posts
I am still in shock from finding out yesterday. Wow. Things like this really put life's little problems into perspective.
The bird poop story made me smile. Thanks for posting Trina!
That song is beautiful CK! Tess was definitely one that had unbreakable passion.
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Posted by carrot_wench on May 27, 2009 · Member since Feb 2007 · 2080 posts
This 'post reply' window has been open for over an hour as I've been trying to type out something coherent that could express how I feel....and even still, I'm struggling to find the right words, but here goes:
Reading the news that Tess had died left me utterly shocked and heartbroken. As painful as it is to accept that she's really gone, it warms my heart to see so many people here sharing stories and memories of Tess, celebrating her life and the times We had with her. Thank You, everyone, for sharing.
I really wish I could have met her in person. She was clearly a wonderful person with a vibrant personality and the ability to bring joy to so many lives.
Tess had such a positive attitude... and in keeping with that, I'm trying not to focus on what a loss this is for Our community, and for all that knew her personally; instead, I can reflect on her enduring positivity, think about all the goodness that she contributed to this community, and celebrate the beautiful impression that she's left in all of Us.
I'll miss You, LucidAnne.
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Posted by Anonymous on May 27, 2009 · Member since Dec 1969 · 11789 posts
Dear Tess, I'm kind of hoping that you're just all-knowing now and that you can read my thoughts, but just in case you're not, I wanted to write you one last note that I hope you get the chance to read.
You not only helped me through some of the roughest periods of my life, but you also gave me some of the best moments I've ever had. I am crushed that I did not get to spend more time with you, but I realized today that no amount of time would have been long enough, and how lucky am I that I even got to know you as much as I did? Someone posted on your FaceBook that now we have an angel watching over us, and I think that's true... but I also think that you were always an angel to the people lucky enough to call you friend, and you were always there when anyone needed help!
I was sure you were just going to get better and that you would be out of the hospital in no time. Maybe I never realized how sick you really were, or maybe I never could accept it. I think the truth is always somewhere in the middle, right? Losing more control of your legs, saying bye to your vision.. even being hospitalized for long periods... I thought that those would be the absolute worst outcomes of your failing health... But leaving completely, just like that? I'm still in a state of disbelief, and sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier for me to pretend nothing happened. Would it be OK for me to do that on some nights, just so I could get some sleep?
I never envisioned a future without you, and there's so many aspects of my life that will always remind me of our time together. The last time we talked, we wished we had a teleport machine so that we could see each other instantly. Isn't it cool that now we don't need a non-existant machine? We can see each other all the time, and I expect you to come and visit... now that you don't need money, a passport or a fully working body. So really, you have no excuse.
So, tess, I'm going to try my best to get through this. I know you wouldn't want anyone feeling sad right now, and I feel selfish for missing you so much. You are now relieved of all the pain you faced every day and you are free from any problems you had... so this is a good thing, right? I am going to remember you always, and I am not going to take the rest of my days here for granted. I'll live them with a smile knowing how short and fragile life is. I'll live them with a smile because I was lucky enough to have known you.
Yesterday, I put in the mix CD you made me and listened to all the songs again. They sounded so different this time around. They all have so much meaning now, and I think you were prepared for what happened, weren't you? You somehow made peace with everything, and the only comfort I have right now is knowing that you passed comfortably while surrounded by those who knew and loved you.
This obviously wasn't the first life we've known each other, and I know it won't be the last. I really cannot wait to see you again! I remember the first time we met so clearly. You were parked in your car outside of the mall, waiting for me to arrive from the airport, looking all cool and stylish. When you saw me coming, you got out and smiled so widely. I hope that when I'm done here, you'll greet me in the same way and fill me in about everything you've found out. Keep an eye out for me.
So, I guess this is goodbye for now, tess. Although this is the last letter I'm going to write to you, I know that you will always be with me in my thoughts, helping me along. It's like the Daniel Johnston song you introduced me to, "Some things last a long time." I remember talking to you about the end of the song, when the lyrics change from "some things last a long time," to "some things last a lifetime." Your memory will absolutely last a long time, and the lessons, friendship and love that you showed me will absolutely last a lifetime.
I'll miss you so much, tess. Safe travels and I'll see you again soon. Kevin
Some Things Last a Long Time
Your picture is still on my wall, on my wall The colors are bright, bright as ever Red is strong and blue is pure Some things last a long time Some things last a long time
Your picture is still on my wall, on my wall I think about you often, often I won't forget all the things we did Some things last a long time Some things last a long time
It's funny, but it's true And it's true, but it's not funny Time comes and goes All of the while, I still think about you Some things last a long time
Your picture is still on my wall, on my wall The colors are bright, bright as ever the things we did i can´t forget Some things last a lifetime Some things last a lifetime Some things last a lifetime
Posted by _algae_ on May 27, 2009 · Member since Aug 2006 · 2268 posts
Thank you, Trina, for sharing your thoughts and that wonderful story of karma.
I still can't believe that Tess is gone. She was such a beautiful person, inside and out. I wish that I had known her better, but what I did know of her will not be forgotten. It is clear that she made a big impression on everyone here and she will always be in our hearts.
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Posted by jewel5111 on May 27, 2009 · Member since Nov 2006 · 616 posts
I've been readig through old posts and threads over the past few days and Tess had such a presence in all of them. Her humor, her sincerity, her caring nature came through in all of them. I didn't know her IRL, but I always imagined her having an amazing laugh and such a warm presence. I am so glad that so many of you did get to meet her in person and experience this first-hand.
I will miss her tremendously but it has made me realize what a home VW has been - and is to me - even if I haven't been active on here for a while. It has also made me realize what I missed while I was away - the friendships made, the kindness of others, the overall feeling of love that I haven't experienced in some of my real-life situations.
In a strange way, the loss of Tess, which is incredibly sad (and I still can't really think about without getting teary-eyed), has brought me back to VW.
So, Tess, I thank you for your friendship and for making me realize what is important in my life. Know that I will miss you tremendously. Many blessings and I, too, look forward to seeing you again.
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Posted by hiimkelsi on May 27, 2009 · Member since Sep 2004 · 2297 posts
pk. that letter is beautiful and i love that song. its very fitting. friendships do last forever. no matter what.
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Posted by Allychristine on May 27, 2009 · Member since Dec 2007 · 15438 posts
In a strange way, the loss of Tess, which is incredibly sad (and I still can't really think about without getting teary-eyed), has brought me back to VW.
I think this is beautiful, and something she would appreciate!
I'd like to share a few photos of Tess from a potluck she held at her house. It was such a great time, and Tess' mother and her were great hosts.
Tess loved her cupcakes... I seem to have a bunch of pics of her eating without cutlery ;D
i was just thinking today about how we would be in chat late at night (especially late for her since she was three hours ahead of me) and talk smack about how they used to counsel (or, rather, not counsel...) newly diagnosed type I diabetics.
I thought of Tess often today & would tear up. I never had the pleasure of meeting her in person but I will miss her. I miss her compassion, wit & her personality that would always jump off the page when she posted. She always made me smile.
Cam, thanx for posting the pictures. I know everyone in both pictures just from hanging around here & even though I don't post often, you're all a part of me...our own little family.
I am going to make a donation to my local SPCA in Tess's memory.
Has anyone let any of Tess's family members know that there is an outpouring of love on VW. I think it would be comforting for family and friends to read our posts and to see how much Tess was loved, admired and missed.
Just a thought.
Hugs
Di
Has anyone let any of Tess's family members know that there is an outpouring of love on VW. I think it would be comforting for family and friends to read our posts and to see how much Tess was loved, admired and missed.
Just a thought.
Hugs
Di
alot of us have posted notes to them on her facebook page
Along the lines of what Di mentioned...I think it would be a really big statement if we put together an actual album of all the photos everyone has of tess (maybe photobucket?) and post the link on her facebook, or (if anyone has a family member's email) send it directly to them. I've done this sorta thing for a few friends who've died families, and it is always appreciated. I also think it'd show how much her 'online' friends really are affected by her passing.
Along the lines of what Di mentioned...I think it would be a really big statement if we put together an actual album of all the photos everyone has of tess (maybe photobucket?) and post the link on her facebook, or (if anyone has a family member's email) send it directly to them. I've done this sorta thing for a few friends who've died families, and it is always appreciated. I also think it'd show how much her 'online' friends really are affected by her passing.
i have trina's email (tess's sis). she donated to me for bike and build.
eta: i emailed her and let her know about the threads.
I was just looking through the recipes she submitted and I came across this one :
Canoodle this Noodle!! (Cashew Sesame Noodle)
Haha! It made me laugh so hard because I can almost hear her voice giggling while saying this--her personality really comes through and it's just a recipe title! What a beautiful spirit!
Hi Everyone,
This is Tess' sister here, thanks to Hannah for giving me a link to this thread.
Thanks for all the kind words about Tess. I'll print these out for my mom, she'll be happy to read all about these.
Tessie had a tough go of things the last few days. It was very difficult and her condition just declined - she ended up being intubated and was starting to undergo dialysis. However, her heart stopped during dialysis and they coded her. She was down for over 20 minutes, but they eventually got a heart rhythm back, but it was really only done by the medications (if they were stopped, her heart would also), plus there would have been significant brain damage. Since I'm a nurse and work in an ICU, I was able to realize that there was no hope. We were all able to make it there and shortly thereafter decided to stop life support. I know that Tess wouldn't have wanted to live on a ventilator - what quality of life would that be? She had a very comfortable and peaceful death surrounded by her family.
We knew that this would likely be the outcome, and were preparing ourselves. However, one can never be totally prepared for when it really happens. We are all very sad and trying to pick up the pieces. My mom said that she would like to probably have a memorial potluck or something later on in the summer. I'll let people know once it is set up. Likely will be in the Berkshires. Her obituary is on the Berkshire Eagle newspaper website: berkshireeagle.com under yesterday's paper.
People here would laugh to know this little story: We were out to breakfast on Monday morning with some friends and I had an egg. I held up my fork with egg on it and said "Here Tess, I'm eating an egg for you." About 2 minutes later, bird poop landed on my French Toast - and we were sitting at a table that had an umbrella over it! We never saw the bird, but my friend and I laughed, b/c that is totally a Tessie sense of humor. That makes me realize that she's doing alright out there. I know she's running around with our old dog Sophie, hanging out with our dad (who died 10 years ago this week), and with her friend Nate who passed away a few years ago.
Thanks again for all the kind words and I will be sure to pass on to my mom.
-Trina
And like all of you, I loved her Sesame Noodles and other creations....couldn't forget the peanut butter cookies!
Trina, thank you for posting that. I'm glad that she was in good company in her last moments.
I wrote a song for my cousin and friend who passed away some time ago, and I thought I would share it with everyone.
Ghost
There is no greater tragedy than when someone loses their life
lest they be one who lived with unbreakable passion
There is no greater sadness than when one's heart
is not strong enough to bear the love it bestowed
Left empty inside
Left with a horde of regret
You left us all, but not by your own decision
You left us all, but not by your own volition
It is so unfair that I could not save you
Indeed, I know that time is too short
It's so unfair that I cannot embrace you one last time
Life is truly fragile
This has taught me to be as strong as you
It reminds me to never lose hope
Letting go is the hardest lesson to learn in life,
but your memories will remain and they are enough
Your smile could change the world
I wish you could change my world one last time
With tears in my eyes, you will be missed forever
But with a smile on my face, you will be remembered forever.
Thank you for the information, and the funny story Trina. The potluck sounds like a great idea. That's a wonderful song CK, thanks for sharing it.
Last fall Tess made a wonderful pan of galumpkis (sp?) and there were some leftover so she sent me home with the whole pyrex dish, and the food... they were delicious even days later. I still have that dish. Maybe for the potluck I'll make something in it, and give it back that way.
I would love to attend a memorial potluck. Let us know when it will be.
I love the bird poop story! ;)b
Thank you for sharing, Trina.
And you too, CK.
I wish I could make it to that potluck!
I am still in shock from finding out yesterday. Wow. Things like this really put life's little problems into perspective.
The bird poop story made me smile. Thanks for posting Trina!
That song is beautiful CK! Tess was definitely one that had unbreakable passion.
This 'post reply' window has been open for over an hour as I've been trying to type out something coherent that could express how I feel....and even still, I'm struggling to find the right words, but here goes:
Reading the news that Tess had died left me utterly shocked and heartbroken. As painful as it is to accept that she's really gone, it warms my heart to see so many people here sharing stories and memories of Tess, celebrating her life and the times We had with her.
Thank You, everyone, for sharing.
I really wish I could have met her in person. She was clearly a wonderful person with a vibrant personality and the ability to bring joy to so many lives.
Tess had such a positive attitude... and in keeping with that, I'm trying not to focus on what a loss this is for Our community, and for all that knew her personally; instead, I can reflect on her enduring positivity, think about all the goodness that she contributed to this community, and celebrate the beautiful impression that she's left in all of Us.
I'll miss You, LucidAnne.
Dear Tess,
I'm kind of hoping that you're just all-knowing now and that you can read my thoughts, but just in case you're not, I wanted to write you one last note that I hope you get the chance to read.
You not only helped me through some of the roughest periods of my life, but you also gave me some of the best moments I've ever had. I am crushed that I did not get to spend more time with you, but I realized today that no amount of time would have been long enough, and how lucky am I that I even got to know you as much as I did? Someone posted on your FaceBook that now we have an angel watching over us, and I think that's true... but I also think that you were always an angel to the people lucky enough to call you friend, and you were always there when anyone needed help!
I was sure you were just going to get better and that you would be out of the hospital in no time. Maybe I never realized how sick you really were, or maybe I never could accept it. I think the truth is always somewhere in the middle, right? Losing more control of your legs, saying bye to your vision.. even being hospitalized for long periods... I thought that those would be the absolute worst outcomes of your failing health... But leaving completely, just like that? I'm still in a state of disbelief, and sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier for me to pretend nothing happened. Would it be OK for me to do that on some nights, just so I could get some sleep?
I never envisioned a future without you, and there's so many aspects of my life that will always remind me of our time together. The last time we talked, we wished we had a teleport machine so that we could see each other instantly. Isn't it cool that now we don't need a non-existant machine? We can see each other all the time, and I expect you to come and visit... now that you don't need money, a passport or a fully working body. So really, you have no excuse.
So, tess, I'm going to try my best to get through this. I know you wouldn't want anyone feeling sad right now, and I feel selfish for missing you so much. You are now relieved of all the pain you faced every day and you are free from any problems you had... so this is a good thing, right? I am going to remember you always, and I am not going to take the rest of my days here for granted. I'll live them with a smile knowing how short and fragile life is. I'll live them with a smile because I was lucky enough to have known you.
Yesterday, I put in the mix CD you made me and listened to all the songs again. They sounded so different this time around. They all have so much meaning now, and I think you were prepared for what happened, weren't you? You somehow made peace with everything, and the only comfort I have right now is knowing that you passed comfortably while surrounded by those who knew and loved you.
This obviously wasn't the first life we've known each other, and I know it won't be the last. I really cannot wait to see you again! I remember the first time we met so clearly. You were parked in your car outside of the mall, waiting for me to arrive from the airport, looking all cool and stylish. When you saw me coming, you got out and smiled so widely. I hope that when I'm done here, you'll greet me in the same way and fill me in about everything you've found out. Keep an eye out for me.
So, I guess this is goodbye for now, tess. Although this is the last letter I'm going to write to you, I know that you will always be with me in my thoughts, helping me along. It's like the Daniel Johnston song you introduced me to, "Some things last a long time." I remember talking to you about the end of the song, when the lyrics change from "some things last a long time," to "some things last a lifetime." Your memory will absolutely last a long time, and the lessons, friendship and love that you showed me will absolutely last a lifetime.
I'll miss you so much, tess. Safe travels and I'll see you again soon.
Kevin
Some Things Last a Long Time
Your picture is still on my wall, on my wall
The colors are bright, bright as ever
Red is strong and blue is pure
Some things last a long time
Some things last a long time
Your picture is still on my wall, on my wall
I think about you often, often
I won't forget all the things we did
Some things last a long time
Some things last a long time
It's funny, but it's true
And it's true, but it's not funny
Time comes and goes
All of the while, I still think about you
Some things last a long time
Your picture is still on my wall, on my wall
The colors are bright, bright as ever
the things we did i can´t forget
Some things last a lifetime
Some things last a lifetime
Some things last a lifetime
Thank you, Trina, for sharing your thoughts and that wonderful story of karma.
I still can't believe that Tess is gone. She was such a beautiful person, inside and out. I wish that I had known her better, but what I did know of her will not be forgotten. It is clear that she made a big impression on everyone here and she will always be in our hearts.
I've been readig through old posts and threads over the past few days and Tess had such a presence in all of them. Her humor, her sincerity, her caring nature came through in all of them. I didn't know her IRL, but I always imagined her having an amazing laugh and such a warm presence. I am so glad that so many of you did get to meet her in person and experience this first-hand.
I will miss her tremendously but it has made me realize what a home VW has been - and is to me - even if I haven't been active on here for a while. It has also made me realize what I missed while I was away - the friendships made, the kindness of others, the overall feeling of love that I haven't experienced in some of my real-life situations.
In a strange way, the loss of Tess, which is incredibly sad (and I still can't really think about without getting teary-eyed), has brought me back to VW.
So, Tess, I thank you for your friendship and for making me realize what is important in my life. Know that I will miss you tremendously. Many blessings and I, too, look forward to seeing you again.
pk. that letter is beautiful and i love that song. its very fitting. friendships do last forever. no matter what.
In a strange way, the loss of Tess, which is incredibly sad (and I still can't really think about without getting teary-eyed), has brought me back to VW.
I think this is beautiful, and something she would appreciate!
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