Halloween Gift Exchange
Posted by nmpixie on Aug 12, 2009 · Member since Jan 2008 · 1243 posts
I think it would be fun to do another gift exchange. I was thinking around Halloween--back-to-school is over, and the holiday season hasn't cranked up yet. It wouldn't necessarily have to be halloween themed, though. Anyone interested? You'd have to be comfortable with sending me your address. I don't have enough money to be a creepy stalker, though, so no worries.
That time when I did one a while ago, I talked to bp (the next organizer) privately about who flaked, and gave her my spreadsheet. It worked fine.
I feel we should mention who had the people who got no gifts. Publicly. Not to be mean but to just know it in the future. And Kennedy and Theo need awesome packages sent to them posthaste!
Theo's package definitely got mailed by her person, and I hope it is just taking a while because it is over seas. Kennedy's person is still gonna send it, but was in the hospital for a month. She prob. doesn't wanna post on here because shes afraid she'll get banned and stuff. And Kennedy, I'm sorry there wasn't more to the package. Did you get the candies and little recipe cards and stuff? We're really poor, and otherwise I would have loved to send a lot more. Same with hh and her sender, heck, same w/ capture. So, if anyone does want to send anyone anything, pm me for addresses. I promise I'll triple check 'em. I don't think we need to embarrass people, though, because everyone's situation is different, and I'm sure than just feeling bad about it is enough. I know I wouldn't probably do it again because I feel bad about screwing up hh's address. You know? Maybe? Or am I being too nice about it? I tend to be laid back to a fault sometimes.
I don't think we need to embarrass people, though, because everyone's situation is different, and I'm sure than just feeling bad about it is enough.
If someone's situation is that they're not in a position to send a package, there's no shame in that. But then they shouldn't sign up for an exchange. There will always be exchanges. They can get in on another one when when their circumstances change.
Exchange Summary
nmpixie -> Capture
underSARAH -> mirrya1
Allychristine -> fufuberry
skwaggles-> ???
Corinnas54 -> nmpixie
laurenlovesgoodies -> oncewerewesties
humboldt_honey -> Cali
greenT -> I’m guessing me
dessie
mirrya1 -> animal-g
ponycakes! -> ??? (sent as of 11/3/09, maybe)
Theodamus -> Allychristine
_algae_ -> swaggles
Cali -> Corrinas54
animal_g -> underSARAH
Kennedy28 -> greenT
awnree1 -> owalkerjilo
wheres_the_beets -> awnree1
Capture -> ponycakes
fufuberry -> laurenlovesgoodies
pwalkerjillo -> _algae_
oncewerewesties -> wheres_the_beets
No one ever signed me up, so I hope I didn't screw anything up!?
I figured I wasn't allowed in because I was too new at that point.
You were on the original list, so I included you, but because you didn't get a package I figure you weren't in the exchange and crossed you off. I included your name only for list completeness. It didn't affect anything. You're good.
Good.
I would have felt terrible. :/
I think in the future, we should go by our old rule of being on vegweb for at least a year or a certain amount of post. Everyone needs to remember if you can't afford to send your package, you should just opt out of the exchange.
I agree. And I don't think it is the organizer's fault if someone doesn't (or can't) send out their package.
And for everyone that signs up! Really really think about your situation and the time frame on the current exchange. You should be able to participate with no problems. You need to be able to live your day to day life before you go spending $$ on presents and then more $$ on shipping.
If we don't want to publically embarrass the participants that have failed to follow through then I think there needs to be a sticky thread that lists the last exchange, the dates and the organizer so that the next person "in charge" knows who to contact to see the "banned from exchanges" list. With that, you run the risk of the last person losing the completed list or not being active on VW anymore....
Yeah. I can't speak for anyone else, but I know if I ever participate/organize any type of exchange type thing, I'm setting rules!
Here is an example of rules for gift exchanges from another forum:
1. You must have been active on the forums for at least 6 months OR have 1,000 posts. Don't pout; if you've been here awhile you're more likely to send out your package. Also, if you signed up six months ago and have only posted like ten times, forget it.
2. Don't flake on your partner or you'll get banned until you send their package.
3. Flat rate boxes are your bestest friend usually, but unless your craft is particularly heavy it shouldn't be necessary. It still recommend priority mail for speed!
4. Since it's handmade stuff there's no price goal, but you should work out with your partner the degree of effort you're putting into your package, so one person isn't knitting a hat and scarf set and the other person sends them six cookies.
5. Bring it! Don't send out something crappy!
I think this was a handmade gift exchange. Rule 4 wouldn't apply exactly, since we don't have known exchange partners, but you get the idea. I think a numerical price range (such as $15-20 sans postage) is absolutely necessary. I know people get pissy about the post requirements but what it says is true--people are more likely to follow through if they stick around. People who are new and really want to participate will have another opportunity once they accumulate more posts.
A lot of us didn't participate due to circumstance. It's not a big deal. One time when I ran one, a member had a major unexpected crisis in her life, after she signed up, and she vocalized it and we re-arranged things. What bothers me here is the total lack of communication. People are being left in the dark even though its two weeks after Halloween.
Hey guys, I know it sucks but we do need to settle down...people's circumstances can change unexpectedly and drastically (like the person who suddenly ended up in hospital), and it's the fear of a backlash/banning/being hated that can keep people from speaking up about it, leaving us in situations like this.
On the last exhange I was all excited then suddenly found out the deadline fell right in the middle of an overseas holiday for me, and I still feel bad that what I sent wasn't much :( So I know that the people who haven't been able to send anything/sent stuff late will be feeling terrible, and I don't think we should write people off completely over one thing, especially since it most likely wasn't their fault - no one on here would sit down and go "hehehe let's sign up for the exchange then not send anything, that'll really be awesome muwhahaha".
I really appreciate the concern for myself and Kennedy, and I know it's frustrating because we have this awesome little community and know each other well and don't like to feel that someone is letting the side down. And yes, people need to think carefully before committing to an exchange. I just really don't think public shaming or banning from future participation is the answer, because the people concerned are still members of our awesome little community and I would hate to lose them to bitterness, or to feel like being part of "us" can be withdrawn just like that.
nmpixie, you've worked really hard on this and I'm sorry that things have gone wrong to make you think twice about it. Please, with your money worries and own family to support, don't send me anything. I'm still eating the delicious coffee/ginger sweets you sent last Christmas! I know you care and feel bad, thanks for your messages, but don't beat yourself up or feel responsible for the communication breakdowns.
Person who was in the hospital - I don't know who you are but I'm so sorry to hear you've been so unwell! I was in the hopsital recently too, only briefly, but I know it's absolutely horrible and life keeps on going while you're out of the loop so it feels overwhelming when you come back :( I hope you are feeling better, have good people around you, and feel you can get back on top of things without too much difficulty. My best wishes, and I hope you feel you can come back and post here too when you are ready.
Everyone who is upset about the breakdowns - I know, it sucks when it's not all fair :( The fact that you all care so much about it really speaks to how strong our little community is :) Thanks for thinking of me and Kennedy, I appreciate it :) I just don't want this to end in something hurtful for anyone involved.
Wow, that was long. Sorry guys!
Here is an example of rules for gift exchanges from another forum:
1. You must have been active on the forums for at least 6 months OR have 1,000 posts. Don't pout; if you've been here awhile you're more likely to send out your package. Also, if you signed up six months ago and have only posted like ten times, forget it.
2. Don't flake on your partner or you'll get banned until you send their package.
3. Flat rate boxes are your bestest friend usually, but unless your craft is particularly heavy it shouldn't be necessary. It still recommend priority mail for speed!
4. Since it's handmade stuff there's no price goal, but you should work out with your partner the degree of effort you're putting into your package, so one person isn't knitting a hat and scarf set and the other person sends them six cookies.
5. Bring it! Don't send out something crappy!
I think this was a handmade gift exchange. Rule 4 wouldn't apply exactly, since we don't have known exchange partners, but you get the idea. I think a numerical price range (such as $15-20 sans postage) is absolutely necessary. I know people get pissy about the post requirements but what it says is true--people are more likely to follow through if they stick around. People who are new and really want to participate will have another opportunity once they accumulate more posts.
A lot of us didn't participate due to circumstance. It's not a big deal. One time when I ran one, a member had a major unexpected crisis in her life, after she signed up, and she vocalized it and we re-arranged things. What bothers me here is the total lack of communication. People are being left in the dark even though its two weeks after Halloween.
yeah, I think we should definitely go back to these rules. Past experiences show that it works.
I did not post that they should be named in an effort to embarass or call anyone out. I wanted a bit of responsibility owned up to. If someone say, lost their job in March and could not afford to send a package, then they should send the organizer an private message to say such. If someone became horribly ill right after signing up, then just a brief note to the organizer would solve the problem. Just keep everyone in the loop.
Honest. Thats all. If you cant fulfill the obligation then let people know. Thats all. I dont want people to feel bad, no matter what.
I agree that it's fair to expect communication if there is an issue with sending a package.
And this is definitely an issue that needs to be ironed out for future exchanges, so setting up some rules and talking about what we expect of participants is a great idea.
I was probably far too long winded before, I didn't mean to sound like "stop being big fat meanies guys" because I know this is a necessary discussion, I just didn't want to see anything escalate.
I dont want people to feel bad, no matter what.
Same. So I'm sorry if I made you feel bad!
I was probably far too long winded before, I didn't mean to sound like "stop being big fat meanies guys" because I know this is a necessary discussion, I just didn't want to see anything escalate.
I dont want people to feel bad, no matter what.
Same. So I'm sorry if I made you feel bad!
Theo just called me big... and fat! :'( :D
It's because you only ;) did a 1/2. She's the Jillian of our boards.
And Kennedy, I'm sorry there wasn't more to the package. Did you get the candies and little recipe cards and stuff? We're really poor, and otherwise I would have loved to send a lot more.
yes the recipe cards were cute! I was actually thinking that i should purchase something similar for when i go shopping because I always forget what i need! and dont worry about the about the amount of goodies you sent me, really, it just warmed my heart that you sent me something :) :) btw all of the baked items were sooooo tasty! i let my mom and bf try them and the both LOVED them as well!! can you send me to recipe for that brownie-esq bar you made me, yummers.
Exchange Summary
greenT -> I’m guessing me
Yessss, it's me. I'm still keeping my hopes up that the package will be returned and the person is just being verrrry lazy.
I have a Christmas backup planned if not though!
:)
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