chuck norris (nvr...but very light).. ;)
Posted by carmenmichelle on Jan 15, 2008 · Member since Apr 2005 · 233 posts
...when the boogey man goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for chuck norris....
....when chuck norris does a push up, he isn't really pushing himself up-he's pushing the world down....
i now pass the torch....
;D
*edited*
Sorry, CM.
;)
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Is that one ok for this board?
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Is that one ok for this board?
haha, that's really funny
One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
I must have missed something....what's with the Chuck Norris jokes?
Noah was the only one notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
I don't have a Chuck Norris joke but the commercial where the guys put his head on an ostrich is funny!
Chuck Norris is suing Tom Clancy because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Norris' autobiography.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Did you guys see the comercial where there was a fancy restaurant, ladies are drinking tea out of fine china, and it is really classy, then Chuck Norris, dirty from fighting, walks in looking wild eyed as he looked around this super classy restaurant. I don't remember what the commercial was for but it was damn funny, I balled over laughing.
Sometimes commercials really are funny.
The Definitive List of Norris
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
So, I've heard a bunch of Chuck Norris jokes, but I've never understood why. What's with this guy that everybody needs to constantly glorify him? I'm probably lame, so can someone let me in on this trend? :-[
Chuck Norris is a martial arts guy. He was awarded a bajillionth degree black belt grand master title in tae kwon do, which is a totally rare thing (so I heard) and started some new form of martial arts. He starred in a lot of action movies in the 80s and in the 90s he was on a TV show (that my mom used to watch) called Walker, Texas Ranger. I don't remember him doing any martial arts on TV, but he did MA in the movies. The Chuck Norris jokes are a play on the type of character he played, where he was the strongest person around. Like Rambo, but with martial arts.
Like Rambo, but with martial arts.
Aweome.
Who would win in a fight - Rambo or Chuck Norris?
Okay. I'm getting it now. Ifollowed the link. My favorite:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
Who would win in a fight - Rambo or Chuck Norris?
Rambo. Chuck Norris can hit, but if he's so great he probably has a hard time taking hits. Rambo can jump off a cliff and then sew up a gash on his arm. He's much more versitile.
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