AUGH!! how is it wrong that i dont eat meat??!?!!
i am so frustrated right now. my boyfriend and i were talking (online) about dinner tomorrow night . ever since i bought Veganomicon on wednesday i have been planning to make black bean burgers and he said it was fine. i bought everything to make it.
now hes trying to get me to buy fish and make that. i don't want fish. i don't like fish. i dont like meat in general. and knowing how bad it is for you, i wouldnt eat it anyway!!
so i try to tell him how bad meat is for you, and he says "thats not true. you believe everything those people on vegweb tell you". excuse me, but nothing i told him came from vegweb. it came from reading lots of books by MANY DIFFERENT PEOPLE about nutrition and the meat industry.
he gets pissed when i talk about animal cruelty in the meat industry because his mother grew up on a chicken farm and "not all farms are like that!" but doesnt even consider that maybe the majority are in it for the money and ARE horrible to animals. he goes to the public market, buys eggs, and expects me to eat them just because the guy had a sign that his chickens are "cage free". i always say "was there a sign that said 'hormone free'?"
i love him to death but what the fuck. i told him tonight i dont care, if he wants to eat 3 meals of meat a day and get drunk every night then that's his decision. but my decision is to not eat meat and not drink. i tell him i dont want to eat meat because i have enough weight problems without adding growth hormones and toxins to my diet.
AAUUUUUGGHHH!!!!!!!!
*sigh* thanks for listening.. :-[
i am done with dating omnis! luckily my omni bfs didn't try to argue with me about it, but it was still gross, i dont know how you put up with the grossness of eating meat plus him sticking up for it in such a rude way. so rant away!!! as much as you need to!! you deserve it!! : )
If I was younger and not married I would definitely not date an omni. It just makes it so much easier when you are with someone who is on the same page as you. My husband fought it for a long time, but eventually made the transition (mostly!). I don't think most people are that lucky. In his defense, I was an omni when we got engaged, and gave up meat 2 weeks before the wedding!. But, that being said, if anything ever happened to him, I would be on a veg-singles page, that's for sure!
I just told my omni DH about your post. His thoughts are fairly profound: 1) Pressuring you to do something that you believe is wrong is bullying and a sign of a relationship that may not be very healthy. 2) There is no reason you should have to compromise your desire to be vegetarian, if you don't want to cook meat you don't have to; 3) if he's going to be a complete pain in the ass, maybe he needs to be somewhere else. You love him but does he really love you if he's not willing to eat vegetarian when you cook for him. Food does not equal love. If he thinks that he's forcing to you prove your love for him if he can make you cook fish, he's screwed up.
By cooking tasty vegetarian food (some recipes from here, some from Vegan with a Vegeance, some from other sources), I've been able to convince my DH that veggie meals are "good eats". He even cooks vegetarian meals himself. The only meat he brings into the house is sausage (I can't convince him that's the worse kind of meat health-wise) and a few frozen meals with meat. He sometimes eats vegetarian also when we go out to eat in SA but I don't pitch a fit if he orders a hamburger. I'm going to miss him when he has a heartattack from all the saturated fat clogging his arteries but he's an adult and is allowed to make his own choices just like I am. We'd been married about 9-1/2 years when I went back to being vegetarian. I'd been vegetarian back in the mid-1980s. I started experimenting with tofu dishes and reading vegetarian websites so he wasn't blindsided by my suddenly turning vegetarian.
I agree with everything Tin Texas said. And if he wants fish so bad, tell him to cook it himself.
I agree with everything Tin Texas said. And if he wants fish so bad, tell him to cook it himself.
I also agree with TinTexas. I think this is very wise:
1) Pressuring you to do something that you believe is wrong is bullying and a sign of a relationship that may not be very healthy. 2) There is no reason you should have to compromise your desire to be vegetarian, if you don't want to cook meat you don't have to; 3) if he's going to be a complete pain in the ass, maybe he needs to be somewhere else. You love him but does he really love you if he's not willing to eat vegetarian when you cook for him. Food does not equal love. If he thinks that he's forcing to you prove your love for him if he can make you cook fish, he's screwed up.
Maybe both TinTexas and I (and feelinsoreal) are all reading into it too much--and you are certainly allowed to just rant! I know you weren't really asking for advice, but I think there is a lot of truth to what TT said up there. It would be one thing if you were forcing him to cook all veg for himself and he was resisting, but when you are trying to be a sweet girlfriend by cooking a meal for someone you care about, that's a real dick move for him to complain about it and try to force you to cook something that isn't veg. :(
1) Pressuring you to do something that you believe is wrong is bullying and a sign of a relationship that may not be very healthy. ...3) if he's going to be a complete pain in the ass, maybe he needs to be somewhere else. ... If he thinks that he's forcing to you prove your love for him if he can make you , he's screwed up.
I really agree with all of this. Based on ALL of your posts regarding Dean, I do not think this is a healthy relationship. I think you're too dependent on him for approval, and he knows it (and thrives on your dependence.) Honestly, this relationship sounds like the beginning of a VERY abusive (it already is emotionally) relationship, that if allowed to continue, will eventually become physically abusive. I know you do don't want to hear this, and you'll probably deny it and try to ignore it. I really do worry about you, though. And I hope that you gather the strength you need to walk away from this situation. It's hard, but I think you can only begin to heal yourself when you can ACTUALLY focus on yourself, and not on someone who is so manipulative. YOU DESERVE BETTER.