Veg Significant Others
I'm just wondering how many people are with another person who shares their lifestyle choices.
My man convinced me to go vegan when we met and we've been happily munching on veggies ever since. My best friend is also a veg, but her man isn't. She doesn't make him any animal products at home, but he eats out, brings home packaged, frozen food, etc. I've noticed how much they seem to fight, over lots of things, but they never seem to touch on the food issue. I personally think this is kind of the source of their problems.
For those who are with omnivores, how is it you can be with someone who doesn't share your principles?
What sort of compromises do you make to keep the relationship going?
Do you buy/prepare meat for your other?
Do you stay with them in the hopes that they'll eventually stop eating meat?
Do they respect your decision to be veg?
Just questions to get you thinking. Feel free to add/ignore whatever you choose.
that surprises me l2a. For some reason I assumed your OH was vegan too.
I do all the cooking, so he eats vegan now most of the time. We talked about it before moving in together, and I told him that I didn't really want raw meat or lunchmeat hangin out in the fridge, but frozen/pre-made type stuff I'd be ok with. It kind of went back and forth... I was trying to be "cool" about everything, and he insisted he wouldn't be comfortable having meat around me anyway (he won't order meat stuff at restaurants with me anymore , though I never complained). So I told him, well, if you wanna just do vegetarian that's cool (like cheese or whatever; he's been drinking soymilk for a while now). But it wound up like this - he eats and likes whatever I make, and sometimes he'll get fast food while out or eat whatever at his mom's, but that's pretty much it.
I think with him it's more about convenience than philosophy. He'll eat what's in front of him (so he says, but he often chooses vegetarian/vegan stuff when I'm not around anyway). I think it's just what he's used to now. He used to "hate" (never tried) tofu, then tolerated it, and now likes it most of the time. He switched to soymilk when he discovered it comes in vanilla and has a long shelf-life.
This sounds just like my bf. He eats and like everything I cook, which is vegan of course, and he doesn't cook so he eats vegan at home. He still bought a pack of lunchmeat and cheese when I first moved in, but I cooked enough that he didn't have reason to eat most of it and it got all moldy. I do the grocery shopping so now all the food here is vegan, except for a jar of honey that he has from before. Like you said, fb, it's about convenience. The thing is, he goes out for lunch every day at work and that's when he eats meat (except for this past month, when he's been eating veg). I do hope that he'll eventually realize he doesn't have to eat animals, but he's really not convinced that there's reason to stop.
Yeah, it's kind of weird... a couple weeks ago something came up in conversation, and I said "hey, we don't have to agree on *everything*."(about having different opinions in general)
"what don't we agree on?"
"well, i guess, animal rights."
"no, i totally agree with you."
"... but... i'm vegan."
"... yeah."
I find it weird that he can (at least, apparently) agree on the philosophical aspect but isn't very perturbed eating meat when out or something. I guess it's not something one really has to dwell on if they're de facto vegan most of the time anyway.
yeah, I get kind of the same response with that one too. And environmental discussions. We'll be agreeing on everything and N thinks he's reall really good on environmental things (and generally he is) then I'll start slagging off meat eating and he'll just be sitting there saying, but that's bullshit...meat eating isn't that much worse, if at at all, for the environment. :o
I really should just not get into it with him, as I know he will argue and argue and think he's s right (just as I think I'm right I guess), but we kind of go into these discussions and I forget that he doesn't see it how I see it.
my boyfriend is vegetarian. he is actually the first guy I've ever dated that has been veggie, and to be honest, now I could never deal with dating an omni again...
He was not vegetarian when we first started dating, however, and he was very open minded and nice about my diet, so it was never an issue even when he wasn't veggie BUT--- most guys I have dated that were omni and had no intention of ever considering anything else/didn't have an open mind, were really crude towards my diet.
My ex used to literally argue with me about the fact that I was vegan because it made dining out together "difficult"--at least in his opinion it did. I never thought it was difficult... but, he liked crap foods and never took care of himself, so he didn't understand that even if I wasn't vegan, I wouldn't have been eating at greasy spoons and fast foods places anyway!
He would get huge burgers, chew them in my face and laugh about it, etc. NEVER AGAIN.
Now that my boyfriend is vegetarian, I realize that it's essential for my partner to share that with me, because it is a core value that is a very, very large part of my life...one of the largest. It's just like religion and political views, etc. Of course, it is do-able to date someone with opposing views, but it does present a whole new set of struggles... people can try to keep it out of their relationship, I suppose, but I personally want to be with someone who I can discuss my ideas with... I don't want to have to avoid saying how against animal cruelty I am, just because someone I'm with doesn't agree...
I never have to worry about offending him anymore when I rant about shit pertaining to animal cruelty, meat, factory farming, etc. (it never really offended HIM in the first place, but it would for a lot of omnis) Even though I was aware that he was pretty much in agreeance to how I felt, even before he went veggie, I still kept the majority of my opinions to myself out of respect for the fact that he was in a different place.
It's nice being able to discuss stuff with him now. It's so sexy to see him eat a black bean burger and talk about how against fur and meat he is. Haha.
It's nice being able to discuss stuff with him now. It's so sexy to see him eat a black bean burger and talk about how against fur and meat he is. Haha.
I agree... in all seriousness: it totally turns me on to hear hubby explain/ defend veggie eating, to meat-loving family of origin! THAT... is HOT.
;D
that surprises me l2a. For some reason I assumed your OH was vegan too.
Well, I'm glad I seem like I should be with a vegan. He's pretty much as close as one can get. The thinking behind it is coming around, but the food came first, because that's what I was cooking. I won the "no meat cooked in this house" argument way back when. I think he basically could not stand the faces and attitude I had when a hot dog was being cooked in my kitchen. It wasn't worth it! :)
No meat is cooked here, but people do get carry out meat stuff when visiting. I just make sure that my dish brush does not touch those plates. ick!
He's also much more of a people pleaser than I am. He would rather either eat, or pretend to eat the chicken dumplings that his 90 year old grandma made for him than try to explain to her that we don't eat meat or offend her. Although nothing like this has happened in many years, because most of the family knows now, and has stuff for us.
you guys are right..it IS sexy to hear the SO talk about AR and make snide comments at the McDonalds commercials!
what does OH mean?
I should add that when we got engaged we were both omnis. I became Veg 2 weeks before the wedding. Then vegan about 4 years later. He hung in there as a dedicated meat eater for a while, but I think it's been maybe 4 years since he's had meat (to my knowledge).
OH = other half (I think!)
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