Why Being a Veg*n SUCKS!
Posted by Kennedy28 on Sep 11, 2007 · Member since Jul 2007 · 780 posts
Ok Ladies and Gents, this topic spawns off of BreyettEyes post on "Reasons why not to be a Veg*n". This is of course a satirical approach as to why its so effen hard to be yourself with people who just don't get it. Ok I'll start.
Reason #1. Because when you kindly tell people you don't want to taste the cheese they brought into the office, they insist that you do, and when you say no thank you again and finally tell them you don't want any because you in fact do not eat cheese, they stare at you and call you crazy.
#34
Defending yourself from being called a plant killer. Since when do plants have pain receptors?!
I think a lot of times us veg*ns get picked on because these people wish they could give up something they know is bad for them, so they try to make themselves feel better by picking on the "crazy vegetarian/vegan." I know some people are just jerks but there are times when people pick on me, then comment on how healthy I am, how they just can't give it up, etc, then go back to picking on me. I mean, even people who eat meat know that it's not the greatest thing in the world - how many diet reports coming out every year recommend eating more meat and less fruits/veggies? Yup, none, but vice versa - pretty much all of them.
#35 - I prefer having a "milk" that goes bad after two weeks and gets lumpy and smelly.
# 29. Are blowjobs vegan?
I love blow jobs, my little meaty treat with lovely cream filling. MMMmmmmmmm!
Now it's gotta be the subject of every conversation.
You didn't list this as a reason in itself, but it totally is! So darn annoying...
#36- It's gotta be the subject of every conversation.
#37 Every time you have a health problem, a mood problem, etc, you know your friends and coworkers suspect it's because of your diet.
#38
Being a vegan is all there is to you. You don't have feelings, lead a normal life etc. Sort of like when there's a gay person in your office, all some people see when they approach them is that they're gay - like they don't eat, sleep and breathe like straight people, oh no, they are JUST gay. So we are JUST vegan, a species unto ourselves, nothing more. :( >:(
# 39 -- Similar to Cheezees' #38 -- You're always an ambassador for veg*nhood. Every time you interact with someone, especially with new people, you know they're basing their opinons about ALL veg*ns on how YOU behave. But they would never DREAM of judging all omnivores on the basis of the behavior of one omnivore!
#37 Every time you have a health problem, a mood problem, etc, you know your friends and coworkers suspect it's because of your diet.
Heh, I do this with omnis. Whenever someone gets angry I say "must be all the beef." ;D
Heh, I do this with omnis. Whenever someone gets angry I say "must be all the beef." ;D
Hilarious! ;D
# 39 -- Similar to Cheezees' #38 -- You're always an ambassador for veg*nhood. Every time you interact with someone, especially with new people, you know they're basing their opinons about ALL veg*ns on how YOU behave. But they would never DREAM of judging all omnivores on the basis of the behavior of one omnivore!
Of course Cephi, cuz we're a cookie cutter set. I'm mean just compare yours pic. You and I may as well be twins. :D
#40 "Where do you get your protein?"
My friend (who is omni, but doesn't eat much meat and doesn't drink milk) and I jokingly ask each other this question all time...that and "how do you get calcium?"
#41 People scarf down your food like someone's gonna steal it from them, then when they learn it was vegan, they say "I knew there was something weird about it! Yeah, it totally tasted vegan"
#40 "Where do you get your protein?"
OMG! I get asked this all the time! ::)
#42: "So, you probably don't get any fat in your diet, right? If you don't drink milk or eat cheese or meat or any of that good stuff... How do you get any fat?"
#41 People scarf down your food like someone's gonna steal it from them, then when they learn it was vegan, they say "I knew there was something weird about it! Yeah, it totally tasted vegan"
I like how something can "taste vegan"...WTF?
you don't get to have fun boding with eh family, running thorough the forest and hunting things down...killing them with a weapon of choice (Id fancy my bare hands if only I wasn't vegan...)...ripping their flesh off and eating it!!!!! GRAAARRR! cause that is so fun....
43. If your baby drinks breast milk, s/he's a cannibal.
44. If you are in a crash or deadly ill, you cannot use donor organs.
;D
1. You make a delicious carrot cake, and when annocing it's lack of oil, eggs, dairy, and butter, everyone who was mmmmm'ing and enjoying suddenly stops eating. >:(
#45: "Ohh, I forgot, you can't have eggs/dairy/fish/whatever, sorry."
Yes, I can. I'm not allergic. I CAN, but I DON'T, cause it's WRONG.
#46: "Omg, I could NEVER do that."
Well, yeah... you could. You just don't.
here's a throwback for all the old school veggies-
47. the Steamed Vegetable Platter.
~there was a time (before gardenburger and all the "heart healthy" choices) when this was the only vegan dinner item you could order at most restaraunts. i can't tell you how many big plates of mushy vegetables i have had thrown in front of me by well meaning parents/ relatives/ dates. i still shudder. :P
48. you know the product information and layout of every grocery store in your area better than most employees.
49. veganism is the only diet that makes you a snob.
here's a throwback for all the old school veggies-
47. the Steamed Vegetable Platter.
~there was a time (before gardenburger and all the "heart healthy" choices) when this was the only vegan dinner item you could order at most restaraunts. i can't tell you how many big plates of mushy vegetables i have had thrown in front of me by well meaning parents/ relatives/ dates. i still shudder. :P
Soo true! I was visiting my boyfriend's grandmother once, and she made about 4 different cooked vegetables, thinking I must eat TONS of them since I'm not eating meat! The worst part was there was a big bowl of peas, and I hate peas, but I choked them down because I was touched that she tried.
50. Comments like this: "If people didn't eat animals like cows and chickens, there would be no reason for them to exist." >:(
51. No drive throughs.
52. you have reduced wait staff to tears over your interrogations.
related: your dining company always rolls their eyes and sighs when it's time for you to order.
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