NVR- Your favorite Witty or Amusing Sayings
Posted by Kbone on Oct 16, 2007 · Member since Jun 2007 · 374 posts
I thought it would be fun to compile a list of sayings that people have found amusing over the years. I'll start:
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"
"Anyone capable of getting themselves elected president has shown that they should not be allowed to do the job." - D.A.
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it." - WC Fields (that was my high school yearbook quote) ;D
Ok...mine is certainly not witty but my warped sense of humor finds it amusing. It's from a t-shirt my twin has.
"I can eat a can of alphabet soup and sh*t out a better conversation than you."
Those are all excellent! How about this one-
"I went skinny dipping in Loch Ness many years ago and people are still talking about it."
My veganism stems my rampant cannibalism.
I promise not to bite you where it shows!
here's a corny one (I'm not known for my wit!) I use to elicit groans at weddings (if I am dragged kicking and screaming to one.) ;)
"May all your tears be tears of joy, and all your pain champagne."
**Shudder**... that is pretty corny :)
Next time just go with that old standby from the movie "Jaws"- "Here's to swimmin' with bowlegged women".
I like Dorothy Parker, too.
I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
I like Dorothy Parker, too.
I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
How about Alice Roosevelt Longworth:
"If you can't say something nice about someone come and sit next to me."
I like Dorothy Parker, too.
I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
How about Alice Roosevelt Longworth:
"If you can't say something nice about someone come and sit next to me."
That one perfectly describes my mom and me. But really I'm a nice person, I swear.
"The secret of eternal youth is arrested development. "
"The secret of eternal youth is arrested development. "
Ah, youth. Pass me the bottle.
Albert Einstein:
Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
My veganism stems my rampant cannibalism.
I promise not to bite you where it shows!
I think I'll get that on a t-shirt .... :D
We cannot do great things; we can only do little things with great love - Mother Teresa