ashley, we're two peas in a pod! I've experienced the exact same thing, and I'm struggling right now to reach out to people. it's what I'm lacking - a real community and group of friends that I feel comfortable, accepted, and valued in. I've met some GREAT people recently though (some vegans!) - which gives me hope. I know it's not a lost cause - I'm not destined to wander alone aimlessly for the rest of my life.

here's what you should do: transfer to my school. it's the university of western ontario, in london ontario. you can take whatever you want here... and we can bake cookies together and take lots of food porn photos!

in all seriousness though, I really feel for what you're going through. my first year at university was... in a sense horrible because I didn't feel like I could reach out to others. I don't have a clear solution for you, unfortunately. just try to stay in contact with those you think would be worthwhile to hang out with (the enviro and gay/straight alliance students). maybe, get busy with what they're into, and you'll all be busy together.

it does take work - value the time you spend with (real) people. make sure they know that you value their time, that you're interested in them, and that you care about what they care about. connect on that level, and hopefully some real friendships will form.

hope that helps, and good luck. 

I transferred from a super-hippy college to... this one. I'm in California, so that's cool, but it's been harder to make friends. Mentioning I'm vegan no longer wins me instant friends (gosh darn those hippies at school, they spoiled me!). I'm pretty sure everyone thinks I'm weird, but this semester is better than last (last semester was my first). Last semester, my roommate myspace-stalked me and found out I was bi and never acted the same around me again (like I really would like ANYONE just because I'm bi, let alone my own roommate who chews with her mouth open and vomits every weekend from alcohol abuse! )

Anyway, my point is, I just faced it: I'm weird (I didn't think "freak," lol). And damnit, I found other weird people to commiserate with at my last school, there are bound to be some here. I gave up just being antisocial because other things wouldn't work and was just me. Me, with every t-shirt having an animal rights message; me who leaflets the dining commons with Why Vegans at lunch; me who doesn't give a damn if you know my orientation. And now I have a few friends, not a ton, but I like to keep it that way.

Avoiding admitting you're vegan or your thoughts on that stuff (animal rights, health, social issues, etc), will at best win you acquaintances, but not friends. How can you really be friends with someone if you guard and hide some of your sincerest beliefs? How do you eat someone without them noticing it's always tofu? I say stop wallowing in misery, get angry, and be YOU. There may be not one person on your campus who would agree with your beliefs, but there are people who like people with a cause, people with their own beliefs, people who are honest about just being themselves. You'll find them if you don't lurk in the shadows, and you might even wind up making a vegetarian! (I did).

As far as talking about this stuff with other people, well, I haven't read that "Vegan Freak" book, but I do recommend "How to Win Friends and Influence People" for being persuasive but friendly. Old book, people will probably think you're even weirder for reading it, but tons of stuff in there works. For me, one of the most important things to remember is not to be on the defense when someone asks you about it, no matter how they ask you. Be positive and informative, regardless of what kind of sneer they might have  ;D If they're trying to be rude, being defensive is exactly where they want you. Even if they have a bad attitude, they're asking you for a reason: they're curious, even if it's curiosity mixed with apparent disdain.

I think a lot of people tend to talk about "boys and straighteners" when they first meet each other so they can seem normal.  I know I don't really have any interest in talking about hot boys, but have done it with girls I just met to break the ice.  Eventually, you move past that talk and find out exactly how weird people really are.  I think everyone has a deeper level, sometimes it's hard to see when you first meet people.  You just have to wait for that one strange comment to slip out of their mouths and then run with it. They will be your new friend.

I hung out in very general large groups my first semester and then slowly selected out the few that I deemed cool (weird) enough to tolerate me on a daily basis and made them my friends.  Ask someone if they want to have lunch with you or study with you...things you know people HAVE to make time for anyway, they might as well do it with you.

If nothing else, do you have a job?  For some reason work friends are some of the best, at least you know you have SOMETHING in common (you all come to the same place every day, probably deal with the same people, etc.)

(((((ashley)))) ((((laura)))) ((((fauna))))  and anyone else who has crappy college experiences because of lame people

I commute to school, so I can't relate to the being totally alone/sans friends part, but I can relate to cliquiness-- grad school is full of cliques because I'm a student-at-large (read: can't decide what to do with my life) so I'm not part of the "clinical psych" crowd, or the "industrial/organizational psych" crowd, the "school psych", "neuropsych", nor the "counseling"... and since I don't live at the school and I rarely stay afterward, I'm just not around enough to make friends. 

Which is stinky, but also means I don't have to deal with the drama either.  But I just feel alone at school.  :(
anyway, I hope you find something to make this all better, or at least more manageable.

It's a 5,000 kid (and I say KIDS because that's all I've met so far.....) private school in a 3 traffic light town.  Ohio Northern University.  I'm majoring in Pharmacy because I freaking abhor our country's manditory drug animal testing and i want to DO something about it.  I think the best way to accomplish this is becoming a respected professional and turn the field upside down.  I chose to come here because I got a NICE scholarship and it's a great pharmacy school.  Now I am seriously considering transferring somewhere else.  The kicker is my family is lower middle class, so I depend on scholarships and old fashion work to foot the tuition bill.  Very little government aid for our social caste.  I need to get a scholarship to somehwere else before I can transfer. 

I can't move off campus to somewhere with a KITCHEN until i have senior standing, which is 300 credit hours or something.  The dorm I live in now has a small little kitchen area with a stove/oven/sink, but ****s TRASH it and i don't want to scrub down it down everytime I feel like cooking (which is getting rarer and rarer the sadder I become.  This is just bad people).  I made a sign and put it up in the kitchen that politely said: "quit being disgusting omni *******s and clean up after your spoiled-@ss selves"  And I talked to the RA's here.  And I talked to a some people i catch leaving messes.  And it gets no where. 

I have packed allll my cooking stuff into a box once and schlept it across campus to another dorm to use their kitchenette area.  That was pretty successful and I might do that more in the future.  I sincerely thank you for all the suggestions thus far!  I am taking notes lol.

I can relate. My first school was in the middle of the woods. Literally. It was technically a part of the neighboring town, but you had to drive about 3 miles through the woods to get there. We had a communal kitchen for the hall, but it was always a mess, tons of dishes, backed up sinks, and we couldn't store any food there because it would get stolen (I made split pea soup when I was sick that looked absolutely disgusting , finished it at 1 am, and when i woke up at 7 am it was about 3/4 gone. thank you, stoners.). Oddly enough, that was the school I made friends at, and I found a baking-buddy in my dorm, plus her roommate who would eat every thing I made, regardless of how weird and "vegan" it was.

I'm here (diff school) now because of scholarship. The old woods-school was too expensive, so I moved back to my state with the benefit of UC scholarships and cal grant. The. only. reason. why. I'm. here. But I've learned to deal with it; it's pretty depressing at first that you're going to spend 4 years of your life somewhere just because of money, not because you liked it or have friends there or it's close to home. (this cliche is just so useful:) Do what you love, love what you do. You have to learn to like it, but do that by finding things to do that you enjoy. If there's no gym, maybe you can take up jogging. If it's in a teeny town, there's bound to be wilderness somewhere (find it!). When comes time, go make an ass out of yourself in the snow... maybe it was just because I'm an L.A. kid, but snowmen and snowangels and snowballs never lose their magical appeal. Make the microwave brownies and cake from this site  :D

Anyways, going to the coffee shop helped me meet other coffee regulars.  It quickly helped me realize that if i wanted to meet interesting people, I had to step out of my comfort zone, so what if i didnt like coffee, the weird people hung out at the coffee shop, so thats where i went.  i guess in such a small town there might not be somewhere like that, but find places where the more interesting, weirder people would go and go there. 

yes! having a routine really helps build a sense of belonging - when you see the same people at about the same time. so true!

Best wishes. 

Advice from your neighborhood RN:  Perhaps a visit to your MD is in order?  Many times during these depressive episodes an antidepressant has to be added to the regimine of bipolar meds if they are ineffective in controlling the deep lows. 

Hang in there.

I've always been the freak myself so I can relate how hard it is to reach out.

*hugs*

Do things you like to do.  If that is exercise, take a walk.  Join the local Freecycle list and acquire a bike!  Take up a hobby like knitting or crochet or beading that makes you happy and gives you good handmade goodies.  Find places you like to go; the library, the gym, the bench under a lovely tree. 

Cook!  Clean up that kitchen by doing the least amount of work.  Take the dirty dishes and put them in an empty trash can, dirty still!  Leave them there with a note: You make it messy you clean it or it gets trashed!  Take OVER that kitchen.  So that you can go in with a squirt bottle of cleanser, rag and your supplies and be cooking in 10 minutes.  Freecycle again for a mini fridge, hotplate, toaster oven.  Cook in your room (if allowed!).  Store your food in your room under a lock so that anyone wandering in roommate or just random cant steal your stash.  Offer up plates of cookies or mini bread loaves or cupcakes without mentioning that they are vegan.

If you are going places you like, doing things you like, you will find others their or they will gravitate to you because its what they like.  Find things that make you happy and chat up people at the health food store or local grocery store.  Be yourself.  Most of all, take care of yourself.

*Hugs*