I had an arguement with my mom during vacation about animal cruelty...
My mom is a carnivore and buys tons of meat and feeds a lot of it to her dogs, she is very wasteful with it which makes me sick. But during my vacation when I went to visit her, I decided to compromise and go back to vegetarian, meaning that I would eat cheese, but I still refused to eat meat. Here is how the arguement went:
Mom: "why do you have to eat so weird?" Asking about my refusal to eat meat. (I ate meat up until a month ago by the way)
Me: "I want to help end animal cruelty. Animals in for slaughter are treated very badly."
Mom: "Not in the United States!"
I nodded, indicating that yes, in the US they are treated very badly.
Mom: "How would you know?"
Me: "I researched it."
Mom: (at this point she begins to yell) "Maybe twenty years ago but not now!"
I fall quiet, she was getting all huffy and her and I have a tendency to fight a lot and I didnt' want us to fight the eve of my departure so I said: "I also get a sick feeling whenever I eat meat, like all greasy inside"
This seemed to make her happy because she let it go at that point with something like "Now that is what I thought, some personal reason, not this animal cruelty crap."
I just let the topic drop and quit thinking about it. But now that I am thinking about it, I think that she could not believe that I could be doing anything for the benefit of anyone besides myself, and she seems like she doesn't want to accept that I have the capacity to do that. I used to be very selfish as a child, but I am an adult now and people change, I have developed a strong empathy for animals. It was a very strange arguement and I found it curious that she got so mad.
That night she made BBQ meat everything. The only non-meat thing she had was corn on the cob and potatoes that were grilled along side of the meat. I ate the potatoes and corn on the cob but refused to eat anything else.
Why do you suppose she can't see YOU doing anything for anyone besides yourself? It seems to me that is her behavior in a nutshell. She won't honor your choices, she badgers you instead and insists that your views are ridiculous (slaughtered animals are treated well in this country?).
I'll own up to not really knowing what goes on in slaughter houses. I knew it wasn't pleasant, but I didn't know how UNpleasant it truly is. I can't believe that this goes on everyday in the US!!!! It is beyond comprehension to me. After seeing Earthlings...well a lot changed and I made an INFORMED choice, as you did. We can't change your mom and she doesn't want to be informed.
My own mother watched Shindler's List. Her take? A nice story, but none of that really happened, the nazis didn't do those things. OMG and yes they did and a lot of terrible things were done that didn't appear in that film because Spielberg didn't think audiences could handle the fulll brunt of the cruelity perpetrated. Some minds are just CLOSED.
What goes on slaughter houses is a holocaust for the animals.
I'm sorry, snow. You should start emailing her stuff about factory farms in America. It sounds like she really just doesn't know (and doesn't want to know) that animal cruelty to farm animals is WORSE now in America than it was 20 years ago. You should also let her know that while animal cruelty laws are more common now, they do not apply to livestock. Check out PETA's website (biased, but it'll give you the basics) and arm yourself with some info.
If that doesn't work, just let it go, don't worry about what she thinks. Don't let her bully you.
Your mom sounds like mine...I can literally see her brain snap shut when even the most generic fact is mentioned, like feed lots. She is one of those people, I think, who just wants so badly to believe that the things we think we should believe are true, including that all farmers are like these guys: http://www.organicvalley.coop/products_recipes/products_soyfarmer.html?cat=11&Soy_ExpDateDay=06&Soy_ExpDateMonth=sep&Soy_ExpDateYear=07&Submit=Find+My+Farmer%21
Proud small business owners...in tune with the Earth and protected by our vast, benevolent farm subsidies. It's not very comfortable to know better, is it? Would sure be nice if there were more of those people.
Also, of course you were selfish as a child. Everyone was selfish as a child. I don't know if you were *particularly* selfish, but if you think so you were probably just told that by someone you wouldn't assume could be wrong. 9 times out of 10, I'd put my money on it.
Probably, your mom wouldn't believe you either: 1 because she couldn't deal with it, or 2 because she herself would never do anything out of concern for a mere animal, so why would her daughter? It sounds like she was defending herself.
Why would you compromise? That is your business what you eat meaning no disrespect towards your mom but it's true.
Let her eat whatever she wants and you do the same.
Anyone who says to you,"Why do you eat so weird?" Answer them if you want, "No I am not eating weird. Well the same can be said about you. Flesh is normal? :o :o :o :o :-X
And remember something SnowQueen I think you said your in Texas right?It is much much harder
in Texas to convince a meat eater about vegetarianism.
Yea, it sucks when people don't understand. I had this problem when I went vegetarian, and then when I went vegan. My parents thought it was bizarre. Only, it's not that they didn't believe the animal cruelty stuff - they just didn't care.
So, I tried a different approach. Because, let's face it, not everyone cares about animals. I started talking about all the health benefits of it, all the ways in which my health and life improved by going vegan. Then I talked about the environment, and how that will improve and how I'd want to leave my children with a world I cared for, rather than harmed.
They really understood that. Now, my parents are installing solar panels. They got rid of their gas guzzling cars, and went for the hybrid. And, here's the biggest thing - 6 months ago, they went vegetarian. They told me when I have kids, they want their grandchildren to come over all the time without me worrying what they're eating. :)
The trick to getting people to understand this type of lifestyle is finding what THEY care about. My parents are very health conscious. When I gave them enough research, and enough evidence - they made the switch.
If your mom can't understand the animal aspect. Then, maybe there's another way to get her to see why you chose this lifestyle.
I think I know, but of course it's a guess.
Because she knows how she shops, she doesn't want to acknowledge that she is supporting such a hateful industry. So long as she can remain convinced that she is doing the right thing, she's comfortable. If she has to hear about it... well, then her own behavior becomes questionable.
Be gentle but firm; she's hurting. Tell her you are willing to provide documentation for your decision if she would like it, but that you won't force it on her. I think that's probably the best option for keeping the peace while simultaneously defending your own values.
i completely feel for you! i'm new to the vegan thing myself and my family is having the hardest time accepting it! i talked about it in a different thread, but in case you didn't read it, my step-mom sneaks chicken broth into cooked veggies b/c she thinks my brother's vegetarian girlfriend needs more protein. she also thinks that it's just ridiculous that i've given up "every nutritious food that my body needs". it's a difficult situation to face. good luck to you!
Thankfully my family is very supportive of my vegetarina choces, however my mom and I defintly veiw animal cruelty differntly. My mom grew up on a farm and even raised her own cattle for 4-H and is just not affected by animals being slaughted for food. She doesn't like the fact that animal get tested on--but she actaually said to me one day that she though of those animals as hero's and not victims...i really don't know what to make of that...I just can't stand to think of any creature being inhumanly treated and then calling them a hero...I guess it's better then her aproving of it...but still...I just find it odd. :-\
but she actaually said to me one day that she though of those animals as hero's and not victims...i really don't know what to make of that...I just can't stand to think of any creature being inhumanly treated and then calling them a hero...
Hmmm....reminds me of another adorable opinion of my mom's....but that's WAY too off topic for this website.
If your mom grew up on a farm, things were probably very different for her than it would have been if she grew up the daughter of some battery cage operation or something. Maybe if you show her here the meat she buys NOW comes from, you can show her that you're not criticizing her childhood so much. 4-H-style people are the kinds of people who name and pet their cows right up to the kill. I think she'll realize the cows that end up in McDonald's don't get the same kind of treatment. Maybe at least she will consider buying meat from real farms, where she can see the little cows prancing about in the field like in her day. My grandmother's biggest hang up is that she thinks she grew up on the kind of farm that produces the majority of modern meat. She gets extremely indignant when you try to explain to her that they aren't the same thing.
but she actaually said to me one day that she though of those animals as hero's and not victims...i really don't know what to make of that...I just can't stand to think of any creature being inhumanly treated and then calling them a hero...
Hmmm....reminds me of another adorable opinion of my mom's....but that's WAY too off topic for this website.
If your mom grew up on a farm, things were probably very different for her than it would have been if she grew up the daughter of some battery cage operation or something. Maybe if you show her here the meat she buys NOW comes from, you can show her that you're not criticizing her childhood so much. 4-H-style people are the kinds of people who name and pet their cows right up to the kill. I think she'll realize the cows that end up in McDonald's don't get the same kind of treatment. Maybe at least she will consider buying meat from real farms, where she can see the little cows prancing about in the field like in her day. My grandmother's biggest hang up is that she thinks she grew up on the kind of farm that produces the majority of modern meat. She gets extremely indignant when you try to explain to her that they aren't the same thing.
My mom is actually really knowledgable about the factory farms and totally doesn't pretend that they are treated right--she does make an effort to buy free ranged and amish farms stuff so it's not that that we disagree about it that she really doesn't see anything wrong with animal testing, like for medical stuff or cosmetics. She is a huge animal lover to which really baffles me--one day I even asked her what she would do if her beloved pet cat was taken for animal testing--I htink that kind of made her think. I really love my mom and I think for an omni she and my father are incrediblly respectful of my eating choices. She just is desenseitized to animals being treated inhumanly I guess. Maybe if I keep talking to he about it she will want to be more active in animal rights! :)