support
Hello everyone! I am completely new to the vegan world, and I'm very excited to start my new way of life. So far I've done well finding websites with information regarding food, nutrition, and the vegan lifestlye in general. However when I noticed this fantastic website with a vegan forum, I had to sign up. Basically since I've begun changing my eating habits (the past two weeks) I have noticed that I am recieving little to no support on my decision, which is making this very difficult for me. My parents, boyfriend, and best friend are very closed minded to the idea. Not only is this a personal decision for me and something I strongly believe in and want to do, but I can't help but feel down about the people I care most about not accepting this. Has anyone else ever had to deal with something like this?? I don't understand what the problem is?? I'd really like to hear some input from other vegweb friends, please help?
There have been a few threads like this, but I can't remember the names of them to direct you to them.
Omnis don't get it and you won't likely find "support". What you'll eventually get is neutrality. In the meantime, bake them a tasty dessert.
Time-Warp Lemon Squares (you'll need EnerG Egg Replacer for this one)
Award Winning Cocoa Apple Cake (grocery store friendly)
Kick-Ass Molasses Cookies (you'll need EnerG Egg Replacer, or ground flax would work in this one, too)
Brandi's Famous Caramel Apple Pie!
What we have going for us is good food. They eat a lot of processed food and we eat whole foods. We win. Whatever we share with them, as long as it doesn't have "weird" tasting vegan ingredients (like tvp), is going to taste better than what they eat. That's what wins them over.
Congrats on your dietary changes!! And welcome to vegweb - it's a great community.
Just thought I'd mention that when I first became vegan about 19 yrs. ago, my family was so against it. It was hard to have such a lack of support from them. However, I can now report that my entire family (except for one raging carnivore - barely omnivore) is totally supportive of it. In fact, they always want me to cook when I'm in town! Plus, many of them have gone vegan or vegetarian over the years too.
So, keep up the great work...it will get easier!!! HUGS. :)
Congrats Blueberry! When I first went vegan I was shocked at the negative responses I got. I had one co-worker ask me if my clothes were made in sweatshops and if so, why I cared more about animals than people. I also had a co-worker tell me she hoped the chicken she was eating right next to me was tortured during it's life. Yea...these were not the kinds of comments I was expecting at all!
BUT the good news is that over time these interactions have changed. Now that I'm a year-and-a-half into being vegan, people in my life see that it's not a phase, that I'm not hurting my health, that I eat WONDERFUL food that I happily share, that I am knowledgeable about the food I choose to eat and the food I choose to not eat, and that I'm still me...just a happier version.
One thing I would recommend is to keep doing what you are doing in researching veganism as well as the meat-industry and why it's so terrible. People ask lots of questions and try to get debates going, and it's so much easier to have these be positive conversations when you can back up your beliefs with the facts, which are totally on our side! Just keep doing what you're doing and be an example of joyful veganism!
It will get easier with family and friends in time... The longer you're vegan the more knowledge you will gain on the subject... Eventually you will have awesome answers to all their comments and questions... Just work on your cooking skills and you will be able to show them how awesome, flavorful, and fulfilling a vegan diet can be... Hang in there :) This website has tons of awesome recipes to get you started!
Congratulations on your awesome choice, and it will definitely get easier as you go. As you become more confident, the people around you will feel the need to tease you less or question you less. Your choices are yours, and you own them. You've found a great resource in VW, and there are so many helpful people on here that will offer assistance when you can't find an answer or you just want another person's point of view. I hope you like the recipes you find!
Your support is here with us. Don't expect anyone in real life to be supportive or feel as passionately as you do. I get virtually no support in real life, but find lots of support here.
My family, coworkers and friends tolerate me more than support me. They aren't totally against it or hostile, but kind of like "oh yeah your vegan, how about those Duke Bluedevils". They aren't really all that interested. Sometimes they look at me like I have two heads.
I definitely second HH (and someone else)'s suggestion to make them delicious vegan food. This has worked amazingly for me!
People at my work/school never knew what vegan meant and when they found out what I ate, they were weirded out at first, for sure, and very defensive.
I started bringing gorgeous vegan cupcakes for everyone's birthdays, and when they realized I wasn't all that different from them, they calmed down a lot. I also lost some weight and was able to give up caffeine and other things that impressed people, and when they asked me about it, I pointed out how going vegan had benefitted me (but *not* until *they* brought it up!). When they made jokes about me, I ignored it and let them deal with the uncomfortable silence.
It took a really long time, for sure, but now people at school/work pretty much see me as someone who knows a good deal about health/nutrition, and about cooking, and a few people have asked me for recipes and advice - it's awesome!
Hang in there! As Tweety said, you will find *great* support here on VW!
Thank you all for your positive responses and welcomings! I really do need to start cooking some yummy dishes, especially vegan baked goods. I will definately look into it. There was also another good point made that I need to really educate myself on nutrition facts so I can back myself up. It's incredible how easiliy people will attack me with questions and points of thier own. It usually leaves me a bit speechless and taken aback, but I want to learn to stick up for what I believe in more. I simply don't understand why people can get so defensive on the topic. It doesn't affect anyone but me, you know?
I'm glad that I'm not alone in the lack of support in real life area. I appreciate the understanding here on this page. Anyone have any quick facts I can back myself up with (when asked why) other than my usual "it's my personal decision that I feel is right and that's all." My reason is probably obvious to everyone here but I just feel like it can be difficult to express myself to alot of non-vegs..
I'm in a pretty left-brained profession and I have a reputation for being pretty lazy, so I like to say "it's just a really efficient way to do something great for myself and for the world, without having to *do* anything." Or something else that indicates it's easy & healthy, and doesn't sound combative at all.
I find it easiest to think about the individual who's asking, and put it in terms *they* will relate to.
Welcome blueberry521!
Next time someone gives you crap just cop your best Jerry Springer guest attitude and say
"I do want I want, don't hate, don't hate"
Can't really argue with that. :)
Like it or not, if you're the only vegan that people know, they are going to come to you with questions or concerns about veganism. You are now an ambassador to everyone you know! Read up on your facts, and know why you feel certain ways before people ask you. If you don't know the answer to something, just say you don't know. Hopefully they'll respect your honesty. When I went vegan my family thought I was crazy! Now, through cooking for them and dropping facts occasionally, they're beginning to see that it's not so weird after all. As vegans my bf and I eat really well, and when other people see our food they're pretty much jealous. I bake for everyone--my parents, climbing club, my boyfriend's research lab, anytime I go anywhere with people I'll take some cupcakes or cookies. Nobody can resist them. Afterwards I explain they were vegan, and no animals were harmed for their enjoyment of baked goods. Food is always an excellent opportunity.
Just be a joyful vegan! You've made a wonderful decision, and you now the rest of your life to make decisions to suit you and make you happy. As you are vegan longer, your loved ones will see your happiness shine through. Good luck!
I definitely agree that being a positive, friendly vegan is the best way to go. Hostility just breeds more of the same if you ask me. I'm by far the only vegan people I know seem to meet. I've had to cut off a friend, because she just refused to be supportive about it and I got sick of defending myself.