The Moratorium Auditorium: In Which We Unite In Shunning Inadequacy
Posted by KissMeKate on Jan 25, 2009 · Member since Aug 2007 · 7322 posts
Crossover from the open letters thread!
Represent.
:-*
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I'm freakin peeing my pants here
Have you told K about your peeing issue? That might be something to put out there..for his consideration. If you haven't, I can call him to let him know.
Um yeah no. You don't have his phone number.
And yes, he knows. One time he said something really funny on the phone and I laughed so hard that I said I was gonna pee myself. Since then he's like, "I'm not convinced you are really finding what I say funny unless you are peeing your pants. Are you peeing your pants?" Hahahaha
ftr, I don't really have urinary problems. I just use that expression a lot.
ftr, I don't really have urinary problems. I just use that expression a lot.
Ohhhh.
::)
Also, I am going to beat up Heli.
Heli! Speak!
Arf arf! :lol: :P
But srsly... sorryeee!! :-[ ;D Time zones and all... I was super tired last night and this morning before work. This really is the first chance I have to talk about the date. Y'all forgive me? :-*
I had to come catch up, thanks to Heli's FB teasers...
Heli - Yay!!! I hope he wasn't too forward with you. Congrats on overcoming your fears and trying new things. :smileteeth:
Spill it, girl! Did he put the moves on you or what?!
A little, yeah.
Here's how the afternoon/evening went.
I went into to town to wait for a text message about meeting up. I was reading and having a coffee... got tired of waiting, and sent my own text at around 3:30. He met me at the cafe about half an hour later and we had another coffee and began talking. Then we decided to go around the corner to an Indian restaurant for dinner. We had a couple of glasses of wine with our really nice food, and talked a lot. K says he drinks sometimes, but not usually wine. I'm not sure if the slight drunkenness was genuine or an act, but never mind - I know we both felt a bit more relaxed, and kept on talking.
(#1 point to bear in mind - his English is not too good, so explaining ourselves on some topics was tricky.)
After dinner we went for a walk, just wandering around the city streets... which is really nice at night; not something I can usually do. K held my hand as we walked. Now - #2 point to bear in mind - I have n.e.v.e.r. had even a male friend, not to mention a boyfriend, so I haven't been touched by a guy, in any way, at all. I was quite surprised how my body reacted in little ways to that touch. I won't say it wasn't nice... ^-^ but I also felt a little uncomfortable (moreso when he put his arm around me for a bit) - mostly in a "WTF? what do I do here? how do I respond? do I want to encourage him?" kind of way. I guess I stayed pretty quiet, and he kept asking me what I was thinking. Since I don't know how to be anything but totally honest, I ended up admitting that I'd never even had my hand held before, and I wasn't sure how it made me feel.
I did stress something I'd said from the beginning, that I'd like to begin our relationship as friends, and then see how it goes. I think he's okay with that, but still keen. At first I thought, I dunno if I find him attractive... I've never found a man attractive before... I think women are more beautiful, for goodness sake!... could I actually begin to like him? Now I'm assessing my mental and physical reactions and I'm thinking... hmmm, perhaps there's some chemistry here. :oh:
A few facts I found out:
K is 7-8 years older than me.
After leaving Iran, he worked in India for a few months, then in Russia for 8 years.
He's lived in NZ for a couple of years, and has residency status. Which means he's probably gonna stay a while.
His mother lives in this city too, as well as a couple of his many siblings.
He eats some meat, but other than that, pretty healthy stuff.
He is Islamic, but religion isn't important to him. (I don't know if that's a good thing or not.)
Anything else you girls want to know? :>
What a coincidence, KMK - both our guys are 'K's. ;D
Yay! I love hearing your story!
What's he look like? Is he handsome? I mean, I know you said you don't know if you are attracted to him, but is he put-together? Aesthetically pleasing? Tall, short, thin, fat, facial hair, what? Details. ;D
You know, you might find that you won't really know what you are attracted to until you try. Like, part of attraction is linking certain traits to certain emotions/sensations/experiences. Like, I might find a man attractive based on his lips or his eyes or his hands because those connote a certain feeling or remind me of certain things. There is a little bit of a difference too between thinking that women are more beautiful and wanting to be with a man. You can experience both. Don't discount anything yet! You have to experience things.
And if it doesn't work out, you can try dating a woman next! ;)b
Anyway he sounds very worldly and whatnot, and it sounds like you had a nice time! Go with the flow. You won't really know if you like things unless you give them a chance. And you don't really have to do anything specific when someone puts their arm around you or holds your hand. Just do what you feel like doing. That will speak for itself.
:)
K is... hmm, not a 'pretty' guy, but he looks pleasant enough. Tall, slender, dark hair, clean-shaven, large hands (as I found out ^_^). Nice eyes, I suppose.
Maybe, just maybe the next time he puts his arm around me, I might feel like reciprocating the gesture. However, I'm a little scared (yeah, scared) that he'd then probably try to kiss me. I have no idea how to kiss. :wow: (Secondarily - and this may be an excuse, but - I don't know if I like the thought of kissing a meat-eater.) I guess I will just have to go with the flow, as you say. I wouldn't want things to move too fast, or to be thought of as 'easy', or be pressured. But I'm keeping an open mind, and will listen to my intuition.
P.S. It seems I have a teeny bit of a libido after all. :oh: I always believed I was born without one! :-D
aww heli!! you're non date sounds so sweet - it made me smile!! i'm so glad you put yourself out there!
:)
I think I'm glad, too. I'm broadening my horizons. I've been a loner for quite a while. These goings on have surprised me, and learned me a few tings. ;)b
:bigsmile:
So... I was trying to tell an IRL friend tonight about plentyoffish.com. I thought it was PlentyOffIsh, but I found out it is actually PlentyOfFish. :fish:
;D
I thought the same thing at first! I was like huh, what a weird name! We're quick ;)
Heli, I am thrilled for you. You talked about "next time" with him. That's a good sign :) Thank you for sharing your experience! I can't wait to hear how it develops!
:)>>>
KMK - he looks nice ^-^ Glad you guys had a nice time!
Heli - sounds like he is really respecting your feelings, which is fantastic! As others have said go with the flow and see what happens - remember you don't have to do anything you don't want to - and it sounds like he appreciates this too. Yay!
Both KMKs and Heli's post made me smile and grin! Woo hoo girlies!
:)>>> ;)b
yay! I'm always amazed at how many people have POF accounts. (I may or may not have one too).
On the dating front: me and the lady I've mentioned before are no longer together, but we are on friendly terms (best breakup of my life!) - it was one of those things that just felt like friendship after a while, so we made it "official" that we're now friends only. hurray.
In other news, I recently discovered that someone I had a giant crush on for a super long time also had feelings for me! This is not too promising since said person is leaving town and has an extremely busy schedule, but we agreed to meet next time we're in the same place...although she is kind of seeing someone right now, I'm still interested in getting to know her better and at least becoming better friends. we'll see.
Also, uh...what exactly is the theme of this thread? :-[ embarrassed.
Also, uh...what exactly is the theme of this thread? :-[ embarrassed.
We made this thread because one of us had a moratorium on dating. We were just talking about raising our criteria for such things and not fooling around with people's emotions or letting ourselves be fooled around with. That type of thing. Raising the bar for our expectations. Not having physical relationships with people too soon and then regretting it.
Now we just talk about dating and such. Anything to do with gentlemen friends and lady friends. :)
I'm not sure if anyone has read about my past dates on the internet dating thread, but my sure-fire method for ruining dates, and creating stories out of them seems to be working pretty well.
My most recent date came from okcupid (a site I highly recommend) and starts out ok enough. We decided to meet at a bar with free darts, and some pool tables because my date enjoys playing those games while having a pint (sweet). I left work early because I knew some co-workers happened to frequent that pub, and I wanted to miss them.
We met up easily enough, and I ordered drinks. We turn around to go to play some pool in the back room, and I get greeted by a table of co-workers I barely know. They chat me up, and then mention how they are going to go molest some children later, and ask if I want to come (wtf??). I laugh it off, say no, and go to walk away, but they keep talking about how I was with them last week when they went to a daycare. As awkward as that conversation is, my date laughed it off saying she grew up with 5 brothers, and knows that sort of humor.
Well, we begin to play pool and darts, and it turns out she is absolutely horrible at both. I mean, she couldn't hit the cue ball straight, and barely hit the dart board. I try to compensate by making a few jokes about other stuff, and she doesn't even pop a grin! I laughed at my own jokes at least. After a few more whiffs, I begin to chuckle a bit, mostly because I think she is nervous, and because I laugh when I'm nervous too.
So now that I can't stop laughing, she tells me that she is blind in one eye, and has no depth perception...
Me = Ass
I apologized a lot, but she brushes it off, and suggests we go see a movie (Knowing). It was ok, but we head our separate directions after she tells me she had a good time, and asks me to call her!
I e-mail her a few days later asking when would be the best time to call her, and she writes back saying she's not interested.
They chat me up, and then mention how they are going to go molest some children later, and ask if I want to come (wtf??). I laugh it off, say no, and go to walk away, but they keep talking about how I was with them last week when they went to a daycare. As awkward as that conversation is, my date laughed it off saying she grew up with 5 brothers, and knows that sort of humor.
:wow:
Also, If I was blind in one eye/no depth perception, I think I would mention it before deciding (or at least before playing) to play such games. Maybe that's just me...
Maybe she was just really bad.
hah that sounds like something off of seinfeld.. you're not an ass - how could you have known? it's not like you said "geez your're terrible!!! what? are you blind or something??"
I am going to start telling people I'm blind in one eye when they beat me at pool. F'real.
Also, this thread (especially Heli's posts) makes me wish I was dating again! Thanks for letting me experience it vicariously, at least!
I just assumed that when she said, "I love playing bar games like pool and darts" meant that she was good at them. Apparently she is happy playing them even if she isn't good, which I think is cool, we just didn't click. We did have a good time making fun of Knowing though.
This date was defninitely better than the date where the girl puked all over herself, or the one where the girl was so drugged that she passed out during dinner.
This date was defninitely better than the date where the girl puked all over herself, or the one where the girl was so drugged that she passed out during dinner.
That is CLASSY. I hope you're keeping a record of all these, they'd make great short stories!
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