To my homosexual friends:
Posted by Allychristine on Nov 05, 2009 · Member since Dec 2007 · 15438 posts
1. Does it bother/annoy/etc. you when people use the term "gay" to mean "stupid"? It's always bothered me, since the very first time I heard it used!
2. Does it bother/annoy/etc. you when people use what they think to be gay voices and mannerisms..in a joking manner? I've noticed a lot of my co workers (straight males and females) do this. I'm just like... ???
5/5
well played
where's my cupcake then?
If only I could frost them and send them without being damaged. I would bake you many, many cupcakes. An ungodly amount.
This whole thread reminds me of what this cohost of a popular Quebec talk show (Tout le monde en parle) said. During the last Winter olympics, a lot of comments, often derogative comments were made about Johnny Weir, and his appearance and style. That cohost, who is also gay himself, used the words "fif"to describe Weir's style. "Fif" is the french translation for Fag. The show had a lot of complaints from gay advocacy groups. Finally, the cohost apologized on air by saying that, even though he didn't mean it in a "mean" way, he understood that for people who have heard that word too many times being shouted at them in a demeaning way, it is insulting and can bring back many bad memories. He also promised to never use it (at least on air). If he slipped, he would give 100 $ each time to a gay advocacy group.
It just made me think. Yes, I will be the first to say that people are too PC and are quick to overreact. However, words can be more than just words and in fact, for some people, they can be a reminder that there is still persecution for being who they are.
It just made me think. Yes, I will be the first to say that people are too PC and are quick to overreact. However, words can be more than just words and in fact, for some people, they can be a reminder that there is still persecution for being who they are.
I think I love you.
Awww, thank you Tweety. :)>>>
I generally have an issue with the word 'gay' for bad.
It annoys me, but it annoys me even when people say "but it doesn't mean I think gay people are bad! It's just a word."
For that, I reply with a story of my friend at work.
Her boss would constantly use 'gay' for bad (which my friend hates, she is gay but that is irrelavent).
She asked her to stop and her boss wouldn't, so she said to her "man this weather is so nigger*."
- Now, let me let you know my friend is not racist and despises that word, but was merely making a point -
Her boss replied "you can't say that!" taken aback, to which my friend replied
"but it's ok to use a deragotory term to describe inanimate objects and such as long as it's refering to sexuality, not race?"
Hence, my friend's boss does not use 'gay' anymore... at least not in front of her.
...Yeah, my friend is awesome.
*I'm sorry if the use of that word offended anyone, it was merely to make a point and I am by no means encouraging it's use.
That's brilliant, Wildeye.
Yes, wildeye, your friend is very awesome. I think that story clearly illustrates the truth of the whole matter. Words are powerful, we need to use them respectfully.
This is an odd connection but here it is anyway: I work in education systems often training employees and analyzing data etc. I often use the jargon that goes along with the field, and I've had some people complain that I should know what they mean if they use a less technical term, or that I should just write things out in 'plain english'. My response (to the people who should well be able to understand the technical terms) is that we've created the terminology because it has a specific meaning, understood by the people who use it to mean ONLY that very specific thing, ensuring clarity and accuracy. When we use the non-technical terms we lose that. I guess it is just my long winded connection to say that you should say what you mean--if you mean annoying or worthless then don't say gay because it doesn't mean the same thing.
I get what you mean, using 'gay' for things you think are bad implies that think gay people are bad.
Even you don't intend so.
I have the same stance with racist jokes - normalising prejudice is not going to make it go away, it's going to make it worse and more common.
this thread is geigh.
this thread is geigh.
OFFENSIVE POST
this thread is geigh.
if by this you meant it's geisha, i have to agree with you. this thread is quite well-cultured and entertaining.
this thread is geigh.
OFFENSIVE POST
QUIT YELLING
CAPS MEANS SERIOUS BUSINESS
CAPS MEANS SERIOUS BUSINESS
AND YELLING
AND SERIOUS BUSINESS
ok, i'm a big gaymo. i have to agree with secondbase that we homos need to develop thicker skin. and yet i have been in social situations where i overhear people say something is "gay." hm, i was in high school once, and i think i understand that by gay they mean stupid. i'm pretty damn proud to be gay, so yeah, it irks my tater to hear people say gay like some kind of slur. not a single one of my gay friends is at all ok with "stupid" being synonymous with "gay." on second thought, i think i'd love to have a thinner skin, and just blow up in the face of the ignorant muthafuckas who think callling stupid things gay is so funny.
among my friends we say everything is gay, only because we know it really is! but my guess would be that if i happened to walk in on your straight co-workers having their little "gay-off", they'd probably quiet up real quick. why? because adults know the difference between getting laughed at and being laughed with! that is the standard really, in any situation. ask yourself if you're laughing WITH or AT someone (or a group of people). It really is just like the shit we learned in first grade!
ok, i'm a big gaymo. i have to agree with secondbase that we homos need to develop thicker skin.......
In the 34 years of me being out of the closet, I've never met a thin skinned gay person. I don't see how any gay person doesn't have thick skin. The thick skin begins to develop in childhood and adolesence. It's how we survive without going insane at all the homophobic crap that surrounds us in society.
Maybe self-actualized homosexuals get tired of it all and sometimes stand up for themselves and say "enough is enough" and it has nothing to do with being thin skinned.
We all have our battles to choose and I understand this one, though it's not really one I get bent out of shape about.
by "thick skinned" i guess you mean not being so sensitive. I think i was thinking more like not letting it get you down. personally, i kinda do get bent out of shape by it. i had to bite my tongue so many times when i was in the military when people would call things "gay". now that i'm out of the military, i take the responsibility of sticking up for myself and my friends seriously. yes, even with people i don't know. someone has to tell them, at some point, that it's wrong. might as well be me. if i chose to develop a thick skin about it, it would only be out of ignorance and cowardice.
incidentally, it may be a small battle, but probably the easiest one to combat.
by "thick skinned" i guess you mean not being so sensitive. I think i was thinking more like not letting it get you down. personally, i kinda do get bent out of shape by it. i had to bite my tongue so many times when i was in the military when people would call things "gay". now that i'm out of the military, i take the responsibility of sticking up for myself and my friends seriously. yes, even with people i don't know. someone has to tell them, at some point, that it's wrong. might as well be me. if i chose to develop a thick skin about it, it would only be out of ignorance and cowardice.
incidentally, it may be a small battle, but probably the easiest one to combat.
Well, I think you can be thick skinned and still be sensitive. Because all the little insults we hear do eat at us on the inside.
I think we probably have the same definition of thick skinned, and perhaps where we disagree is you feel we should be more thick skinned.
By thick skinned, I mean being able to carry on in the world without things getting you down and keeping on your game face. We all do this growing up because almost all of us hear messages that being homosexual is a bad thing. You described it perfectly when you had to let what your military peers said roll off your back, despite it bothering you on the inside. This is thick skin.
Knowing when to speak up and coming out of the closet are the steps to change this. I'm excited that things have changed 360 and beyond from the time I came out to now and an in awe of the young gay people of today. Of course there are still parts of the country that are stuck ing the 50's attitudes, but the cities rock.
A co-worker used "gay" before I joined the unit; she now uses "retarded". ???
When talking to me, another co-worker goes through the list: ga... retar... dumb.
I think it's funny when people use "gay" to rile me, but I don't like when it's ubiquitously tied to a negative connotation. It's like perpetuating that math is hard for girls. Maybe some of the difference between it bothering someone or not is how much each person likes words. I really like words. I read books on the evolution of language, I love root word dictionaries and have copies at home and work for quick reference, etc.
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