The Moratorium Auditorium: In Which We Unite In Shunning Inadequacy
Posted by KissMeKate on Jan 25, 2009 · Member since Aug 2007 · 7322 posts
Crossover from the open letters thread!
Represent.
:-*
The World's Largest Collection of Vegetarian Recipes
You know a guy is the RIGHT guy when he cooks you dinner and picks out a romantic comedy to watch because he knows you've got weddings on the brain. AND he doesn't even try anything to get compensation for his efforts.
That actually happens in real life?
Yes. I make dinner for Katie all of the time.
You are sweet. Katie is a lucky woman. :)>>>
I also don't like easy, lovey-dovey, gentle sex for that reason.
I feel the same. it's boring. Then I think-- maybe I just haven't met the right person. Then I think-- maybe I just don't like it. Period.
I think too much.
Yeah, not having met the right person is quite likely for me, I think.
I think I think too much too.
Oh, I had a dream that GC came into this thread and starting talking about who he is having sex with these days. And I was like, "Oh hellz no! Get the fuck out of here!" Ahhahahaahahaha ;D
I have a really nice guy-friend (who is actually my boyfriend's best friend), and he's had a lot of bad relationships with bitchy girls who just seem to self-destruct the relationship before heading for the hills.
Poor guy, he's such a romantic and it breaks his heart (even though he's not a sissy-boy). He's asked me a few times why girls do that crap. My answer to him is that (from my personal experience) most girls in his dating age group aren't mature enough to appreciate a guy who is nice to them and isn't a big fat jerk. They're still looking for the hot guys, the bad boys, and the "I'm too cool for you but I'm great in bed" guys.
Eventually we grow out of it, or one of those assholes will break OUR hearts, and we'll come around to the fact that nice guys can be adventurous and fun. Some nice guys just haven't figured out how to do that yet.
They can learn what you like in bed.
They can get used to being more outgoing and adventurous.
They can even learn to have a good argument (Josh is still learning this art).
But if there's no chemistry within a short time, there probably won't ever be any. You can't teach that.
I should note that this guy-friend is very good looking (in my opinion, anyway), eats a lot of vegetarian food (doctor's orders for health), and loves animals (right now he has one cat that he adopted from a shelter). He's also a rocket scientist. Srsly.
8-)
JC,
Wow. That is all.
I should note that this guy-friend is very good looking (in my opinion, anyway), eats a lot of vegetarian food (doctor's orders for health), and loves animals (right now he has one cat that he adopted from a shelter). He's also a rocket scientist. Srsly.
Chemistry willing, GIMME. Or does MDV have dibs?
I dunno, MDV hasn't met him.
;D
I have a really nice guy-friend (who is actually my boyfriend's best friend), and he's had a lot of bad relationships with bitchy girls who just seem to self-destruct the relationship before heading for the hills.
Poor guy, he's such a romantic and it breaks his heart (even though he's not a sissy-boy). He's asked me a few times why girls do that crap. My answer to him is that (from my personal experience) most girls in his dating age group aren't mature enough to appreciate a guy who is nice to them and isn't a big fat jerk. They're still looking for the hot guys, the bad boys, and the "I'm too cool for you but I'm great in bed" guys.
Eventually we grow out of it, or one of those assholes will break OUR hearts, and we'll come around to the fact that nice guys can be adventurous and fun. Some nice guys just haven't figured out how to do that yet.
They can learn what you like in bed.
They can get used to being more outgoing and adventurous.
They can even learn to have a good argument (Josh is still learning this art).
But if there's no chemistry within a short time, there probably won't ever be any. You can't teach that.
I should note that this guy-friend is very good looking (in my opinion, anyway), eats a lot of vegetarian food (doctor's orders for health), and loves animals (right now he has one cat that he adopted from a shelter). He's also a rocket scientist. Srsly.
8-)
I see what you are saying, but then it comes back to what AC mentioned about changing people. I dunno. I'm still figuring things out. For me, I don't go directly to the jerks--none of the guys I have dated were jerks at all--but I just DON'T go for the 100% nice boys. I think the thing is, I have an aversion to mama's boys, which is based entirely on my experiences with two hardcore mama's boys (I have HORROR STORIES, let me tell you). I like it when guys know how to do/think things for themselves without having to be told/taught--some independence. I really don't think it's a maturity thing, I think it has to do with your experience with males/male figures in your life. Hmmmmm.
I used to tell myself (and sort-of still do, but not so much) that you don't even know if you found the right guy until you've made it through decades of marriage and you're both getting all wrinkly. I don't know if that makes sense, but I just wanted to throw it out there. It might have sounded better in my head.
Anyway, I didn't mean to say that ALL women in a certain age group are immature... but most are. Very. It's hard to notice when you're the same age (I was a total idiot in my late teens/early 20s, until the past 4 years or so), but even a few years older things start looking different. I'm sure it's experience, not really age. But dang, I went back to college this year and the girls I sit next to in class are STU-PID when it comes to things like relationships, self-esteem, and you know.... what's important in life.
Hint: It's not how far to the side you can part your hair or if you wear those tights under gym shorts. I show that I'm not 21 anymore when I go "What the hell....?"
:-D
Anyway, I didn't mean to say that ALL women in a certain age group are immature... but most are. Very. It's hard to notice when you're the same age (I was a total idiot in my late teens/early 20s, until the past 4 years or so), but even a few years older things start looking different. I'm sure it's experience, not really age. But dang, I went back to college this year and the girls I sit next to in class are STU-PID when it comes to things like relationships, self-esteem, and you know.... what's important in life.
:-D
Oh yes, that's very true. I observed this all through college when my roommates/friends made stupid ass decisions. Word.
Well, the best I can do is keep an open mind and not flinch when a guy seems really, really nice. Give him a chance at least. *shrugs*
Being a nice guy in public doesn't mean they're not surprisingly kinky in bed.
>:D
So I say give 'em a chance. They may have another side. But..... don't turn all super-bitch and then leave. If a nice guy isn't working out for you, just tell them (when you first realize it, don't get into crazy girl mode) that you're just not working out.
I led on a very NICE nice guy for like, a couple of years. I'm the queen of not wanting to hurt feelings.
I eventually told him it was because his parents were crazy and I'd never be able to marry into that drama. It was true! But mostly it was because I didn't feel anything for him romantically. I just couldn't bring myself to say that. I was dumb.
I eventually told him it was because his parents were crazy and I'd never be able to marry into that drama. It was true! But mostly it was because I didn't feel anything for him romantically. I just couldn't bring myself to say that. I was dumb.
Oh, +1. Welcome to the boyfriend I had for most of college. Woot! ::)
Being a nice guy in public doesn't mean they're not surprisingly kinky in bed.
That would work for me. That has not been the case thus far. He wanted to get all porn-star-ish and it was like he had something to prove. It was not my idea of a good time. I was like, hit it and quit it plz.
I eventually told him it was because his parents were crazy and I'd never be able to marry into that drama. It was true! But mostly it was because I didn't feel anything for him romantically. I just couldn't bring myself to say that. I was dumb.
Oh, +1. Welcome to the boyfriend I had for most of college. Woot! ::)
Dude, his mom left his dad to live with another man, but they didn't divorce, and she would come over once a week randomly to clean her (legally) husband's house... which is where my ex-boyfriend lived.
So, one morning, I'm asleep in the bed in just my underwear... and in comes his mom, happy as a lark on prozac, gathering up laundry.
She even picked up MY laundry. Which freaks me out.
And I'm trying desperately to cover myself up and find my bra, and she comes over and hugs me (I was cocooned in blankets by that time) and just goes about straightening up the bedroom while my then-boyfriend is trying to get her to get the hell out of his room. Which she doesn't understand because "It's not a big deal if you have a sex life, honey. I know all about sex."
He was a very nice guy. Really. But not the right nice guy for me. His mom loved me, though. Sometimes I wish I could swap Josh's mom for that mom. Then I remember this story, and I bite my tongue.
oh my gahhhhhh. That is too much. :o
You laughed, though.... right? Having horrible stories like this happen to me isn't worth it if no one else can laugh at them.
Because, it's hilarious. I know it is.... but it wasn't at the time.
:-D
Yes, hilarious. ;)b
Being a nice guy in public doesn't mean they're not surprisingly kinky in bed.
That would work for me. That has not been the case thus far. He wanted to get all porn-star-ish and it was like he had something to prove. It was not my idea of a good time. I was like, hit it and quit it plz.
HA.
Oh yes Super Bowl!! She called. I did not answer. I opened a bottle of wine. Curl up onto couch. And enjoyed a lovely evening alone! Then passed out like a little baby and had the sweetest of dreams.
Oh yes Super Bowl!! She called. I did not answer. I opened a bottle of wine. Curl up onto couch. And enjoyed a lovely evening alone! Then passed out like a little baby and had the sweetest of dreams.
Awwwwww.
;)b
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