NVR - Horror movie a day
Here's the skinny:
Every year, I try and watch a horror movie a day in October. I never make it the whole way through. I try and document the process though, and post thoughts on each film. So if no one minds, I'd like to post my thoughts here. Cool?
The rules: The "horror movie" must be 45+ minutes in length. Multiple television episodes can count as long as the entire disc is watched. Related genres can count (i.e. exploitation, thrillers, etc.) but they must contain either copious gore, ultra-violence some supernatural elemnet, or any combination of the above. If a movie is watched past midnight, it can still count, as long as it's before bed time.
The kick off was September 30th, so here we go!
Movie #1 - 'Frankenstein' (1931)
What can I say about this movie that hasn't all ready been said? It sets the standard for all horror movies since. A touch of blasphemy, a touch of reality and plenty of genuine human emotions. Just watching the first 15-minutes gives you all the aesthetic trappings of stereotypical horror. Gloomy grave yards, Gothic mansions (the interior of some of these are actually mat paintings - nice!) and plenty of mad sciency stuff.
I guess I'll talk about the two iconic scenes in this movie, since there are literally volumes out there about this movie.
The "It's Alive!" scene... What makes this work and so memorable, is the emotional swing that takes place. It starts with trepidation as Henry is greeted by 3 unwanted guests. The guests are also apprehensive as they find Henry's goals not just mad - but impossible. Upon the voicing of this last doubt, the scene swings. Henry becomes determined, committed and finally ecstatic as he proves them wrong... the overcome by horror and doubt at what he has done. Yes, the clip of "It's Alive!" is great, but the entire scene and sequence has a surprising modern resonance when viewed in full. Still we debate today about where the line is of what science can and should do.
The "Little Girl" scene. It's just a heartbreaker. The didn't know any better tragedy. The kind that scare us all. Especially from a parenting perspective. We bring children into the world, and some unthinking well meaning oaf can harm them... or worse. Scarier still, we may be that unthinking, unknowing oaf. I speak not just of physical, but emotional harm. Every parent has the fear that there will be "one thing" that screws their kid up... and they pray it's not them. But the wonderful portrayal of The Monster by Boris Karloff brings an amazing amount of humanity to this scene.
If you've never watched this classic, remedy that fact, ASAP.
Movie for 10/1/07 - "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" (1966)
P.S. - My wife is joining in this year. If any one wants her thoughts, let me know and I'll arrange to post her comments.
Thanks for the indulgence, folks!
- If anyone has seen any of the mentioned flicks, please chime in. I lovelovelove seeing opinions on horror flicks. :)
Movie #9 - "Army Of Darkness" (1992)
I LOOOOVVVEEE Army of Darkness!!!
Movie #10 - "The Wicker Man" (1973)
Man, after watching "The Wicker Man" last night, I am sooooooooooo not looking forward to watching the remake. "The Wicker Man" is just one of those movies that catches onto something special. A movie that works for no real standout reason, but because all of the parts just happened to fall in line perfectly. I really, really can't imagine a Hollywood remake with Nicholas "Remember When I Could Act?" Cage capturing the same quirky charm and chilling feel.
Let's attend to matters at hand, though shall we? "The Wicker Man" is by far my favorite horror musical. Yes, musical. Every ten, or fifteen minutes, there is some sort of singing going on and it is of the sort that enhances the story, though it doesn't necessarily move the story along... okay, so maybe it's technically not a musical, but there is a lot of singing here.
We get to join the hardworking "Christian Cop", Sgt. Howie as he travels to Summerisle, a remote and isolated island, to investigate the disappearance of young girl. As he attempts his investigation, however, he is in many increasingly odd ways stymied by the locals. Sometimes they claim she doesn't exist, others say she's dead... and all around, there are signs that the denizens of Summerisle are not quite in keeping with the customs of Christian nation. As the mysteries unfold, and the islanders religious beliefs are revealed things begin to look dire in Sgt. Howie's eyes. Unfortunately, he has no real idea of just how dire.
The climax of this movie is the stuff of cinematic legend. It's brutal, elegant, shocking and hypnotic. Even if you know what the ending is, if you've never seen it, it's tough to convey the power of it. I won't go too much into here, as not to potentially spoil it for the uninitiated, but it will haunt you. My wife and I had the following dialog when I showed her the movie for the first time:
Me: "So, what do you think?"
Wife: "That was horrible!
Me: "So, you didn't like it?"
Wife: "No, it was a good movie but that was horrible.
What else is there? Well, there is the oft speculated about religious message of the film. However, I find that angle rather overblown. Sure, there is a Christianity vs. Pagan set up, but in their own ways, everybody wins. There is no clear "winner" shown, and no clear statements about right and wrong are made. The story simply is what it is, and makes no apologies or justifications. Christopher Lee, Edward Woodward & co. all play it straight, committed to their roles, and it helps "The Wicker Man" keep it's charm and plausibility intact, even when it asks you to make some of it's bigger concessions.
A perfect movie? No, by no means. But a truly special movie that works on a lot of different levels. An odd masterpiece that stand up well to repeated viewings, and while it is certainly a product of its time, it is by no means bound by it. "The Wicker Man" is timeless tale, well told and deservedly well loved.
Movie for 10/10/07 - "Microwave Massacre" (1983)
Coming Soon: "Death Spa" (1988), Dead Birds (2005), The Wicker Man (2006), "MoH: Pick Me Up" (2005), "Dawn Of The Dead" (2004), "Killer Klowns From Outer Space" (1988), "Black Candles" (1982)
How about the chainsaw massacres. What was that called? That wasn't called that though.
closeyoureyestosee, I have a bone to pick with you...
Movie #11 - "Microwave Massacre" (1983)
So I find myself in a tough spot here. I've recently finished watching one of the worst horror movies ever made. However, it actually bills itself as "The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made". So what do I do? Say why it's awful and then think to myself, "Well, what did you expect?" Find movies worse? I mean, there are certainly worse movies out there. What to do, what to do?
Well, how about a plot summary, then. That won't take long. A construction worker is sick of his wife's gourmet cooking. Y'know, stuff like plastic crabs with lettuce on over-sized buns. So, he argues with her (a lot) and eventually, in a drunken rage, kills and accidentally eats her. After that his life is great! Except, he has a craving for human flesh. *Burp*. Bodies pile up (individually wrapped in pieces in the freezer, of course), plot creeeeps along and mercifully the credits roll.
I'm leaving out some stuff here though. Copious nudity and even more corny jokes. Those keep proceedings bearable. As did the mystery of, "Where have I heard star Jackie Vernon's voice before?" This morning, driving into work, it hit me.
"Happy Birthday!"
Yes, the sex-crazed cannibal in "Microwave Massacre" is potrayed by none other than the voice of Frosty The Snow Man. So guess the movie has that going for it, too. Honestly, there is only one reason why I am not ripping this movie a new one right now, and I'll share it with you:
Had we the resources and wherewithal, this is the exact movie my buddies and I would have made in college. The bad jokes, the boobs... of course we would have insisted on cameo by Elvis and Godzilla, plus an attempt to make a head explode, but yeah... this could have been us. It's that spirit of arrested adolescence that saves "Microwave Massacre" from truly being the worst horror movie of all time. I'm not sure The Wife sees it that way, though. More dialog, ahoy!
Me: What's the matter? You look ticked. Was it that bad?
Wife: Well, with a name like "Microwave Massacre" I expected, y'know, blood or a microwave running amok, or...
Me: Something resembling entertainment?
Wife: Well, yeah.
Again, I'm not sure what to say about this one. I'm not sure anything could live up to the title "Microwave Massacre", and I'm not sure the movie actually calling itself that even tried. What they did try to do is have fun, and least you can tell they did. Depending on your cheese level tolerance, you may, too. But don't bank on it.
Movie for 10/11/07 - "A Bucket of Blood" (1959)
Coming Soon: "Death Spa" (1988), Dead Birds (2005), The Wicker Man (2006), "MoH: Pick Me Up" (2005), "Dawn Of The Dead" (2004), "Killer Klowns From Outer Space" (1988), "Black Candles" (1982)
closeyoureyestosee, I have a bone to pick with you...
Movie #11 - "Microwave Massacre" (1983)
Hey man, I warned you that it was awful!
"May: Some men, you should know, still find me attractive
Donald: How would I know them? I didn't attend the braille institute "
;D I think it was so amusing because it IS so bad! Granted I watched it many years ago and my memory doesn't serve me...ok, I'll admit I was probably smoking drugs while I watched it. I think if you let it just sit in your head for a few days you'll find yourself recommending it to others too! ;) Sorry if I steered you wrong though. :-\
Oh, fret not. I was amused. It's one of those movies that is so bad it's endearing, but man... it is bad...
Altered state of conciousness may be the ticket for that one, though.
Oh, fret not. I was amused. It's one of those movies that is so bad it's endearing, but man... it is bad...
Altered state of conciousness may be the ticket for that one, though.
Come on, it was worth it. Right? ;)
I'll tell you once the twitching stops.
Can I make a suggestion? Killer Klowns from Outer Space!!!
oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D My DH watched the whole thing. I, on the other hand, lasted 10 minutes. He also watched something about Santa Claus vs. The Martians (???)
I (with distinctly more refined tastes ;D) prefer Quentin Tarantino flicks and Japanese horror. Specifically, does anyone have favorite Takashi Miike flicks to recommend?
Imprint. It's his Masters of Horror episode that was banned from airing. It's awesome.
Fudoh: The New Generation
Audition
Happiness Of The Katakuris
AUDITION
Movie #12 - "A Bucket of Blood" (1959)
Art! Depending on who you ask it is either the apex of human ability and achievement, or an elaborate in-joke whose punchline has been long forgotton. Because for every truly great work, from renaissance masters to more modern abstracted artists, there were dozens upon dozens of pretenders. People not driven by the creative spirit but by greed. Desire for fame, fortune and social standing. And for every one of those, add dozens of sycophants, clinging onto imagined coattails. Desperate for a bit of the limelight, and a little something for nothing.
And there, you have the "art scene" in a lot of areas. Looks like it was the same way, back in the 1950s, too by the look of "A Bucket of Blood". Good to know that some things are are constant. The film opens with a beret-headed beatnik, spouting pretentious poetry, while a saxophonist wails behind him. Here we meet our "hero", Walter Paisley. A put upon busboy who wants nothing more than to fit in with the art set at the cafe he works in. Of course, he is far too mundane for their tastes. Until a combination of steak knife, cat and clay happens, which suddenly makes Walter the new "it" sculptor.
But how's he gonna follow that cat sculpture up? Study of the human form, of course...
Earlier I said it's good to know somethings don't change. One of those things, it Roger Corman, the director of this tale. Roger Corman is notorious for a lot of things. Chiefly, making bad movies. However, he has helped to usher in big name talent over the years. Jack Nicholson, Ron Howard and others all started working on their acting and directing chops with Roger Corman. I have to believe that it's because for all his cruddy low-budget movies, Roger Corman gets it. He knows what movies should be: entertaining.
Sure, while you may groan audibly during one of his pictures - you certainly will during "A Bucket Of Blood - you'll at least walk away entertained. Corman tends to add a knowing wink to the proceedings. While his story here may be on the surface about killer wannabe sculptor, he occupies himself just as much with poking fun at the ideas in modern art. Painting with broad strokes to be sure, but when you can recognize certain types of people you may encounter today in a B-Movie from Almost 50 years ago, I'd say the man knew a thing or two more about storytelling than others might give him credit for.
"A Bucket of Blood" is a wonderful, devilish little story told in a gleefully twisted way. Short, sweet and fun. If I ever meet Roger Corman, I'm giving him a hug.
Movie for 10/12/07 - "The Wicker Man" (2006)
Although, that may change.
Movie #13 - “The Wicker Man” (2006)
So a couple of movies ago, I discussed “Microwave Massacre”. A movie so bad that it actually labeled itself, “The Worst Horror Movie Of All Time”. While fairly certain it wasn’t actually the worst I’d ever seen, I was content to let it have its claim, and let all sleeping dogs lie.
Then there came, “The Wicker Man”.
Not the charming, haunting mostly delightful 1970’s incarnation I covered earlier. The remake. The remake everyone said was awful… but it couldn’t be THAT awful, could it? No, surely it couldn’t. Then I watched Neil LaBute’s take on “The Wicker Man”.
Oh my.
I am seriously disturbed that I‘m about to say this. Here is a movie so amazingly bad, I found myself thinking that I actually enjoyed “The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made” more than “The Wicker Man.” A comparison was in order.
Microwave Massacre gave us the line, “I’m so hungry, I could eat a whore.”
The Wicker Man? “OH, NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHH!”
Point: Microwave Massacre
Microwave Massacre gave us a black man without rhythm as a character.
The Wicker Man gave us an offensively stereotyped women’s rights advocate who talks like a Renaissance Festival reject.
Again, the point goes to Microwave Massacre.
Microwave Massacre had me sure that it was never going to get any better, or conversely, much worse than it was at any given time.
The Wicker Man had me perpetually wondering how they could make it worse… and then did.
I guess from a “suspense” angle, the point goes to The Wicker Man on that one.
Lastly, Microwave Massacre was misogynistic in that it portrayed women as sexual objects to be ogled and literally consumed.
The Wicker Man was misogynistic in that it portrayed all women as conniving, scheming creatures whose contempt for men overrides basic human compassion.
Okay, a tie there, but the advantage goes to Microwave Massacre overall… making The Wicker Man the worse - or at least the less enjoyable - film.
Honestly, you get the feeling that everyone knows that the movie is going to be awful. A couple of people look like they desperately want to apologize to the audience during certain scenes. Neil LaBute’s fear of women is palpable and ultimately laughable. His heavy handed update totally abandons the spirit of the original and oftentimes feels like it’s openly mocking the original.
The original offered a pagan religion where men and women were equals, god and goddess worshiped alike for their part in the circle of life. Here, it’s a woman-centric, vaguely bee themed religion. When Nick Cage heroically screams, “THIS IS MURDER! MURDER! YOU'LL ALL BE GUILTY, AND YOU'RE DOING IT FOR NOTHING! KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN HONEY!”, you can’t help believe him wrong, because the movie has presented no other option.
The original drew parallels between Christianity and paganism, and idea of sacrifice… the remake just beats you over the head with stupid lines, dumb assumptions and plot holes.
“How'd it get burned? How'd it get burned? HOW'D IT GET BURNED, HOW'D IT GET BURNED?”
That is this movie’s idea of subtle folks.
I’d like to say it’s so bad it’s good. But with the exception of Nick Cage running around in a bear suit punching women out, it’s not. It’s painful. Just stick to the original, or at least Microwave Massacre.
Movie for 10/13/07 - Not sure, but something good to wash the taste of The Wicker Man out of my mouth... tastes like... honey?!?!?!
Movie #13 - “The Wicker Man” (2006)
So a couple of movies ago, I discussed “Microwave Massacre”. A movie so bad that it actually labeled itself, “The Worst Horror Movie Of All Time”. While fairly certain it wasn’t actually the worst I’d ever seen, I was content to let it have its claim, and let all sleeping dogs lie.
Then there came, “The Wicker Man”.
Not the charming, haunting mostly delightful 1970’s incarnation I covered earlier. The remake. The remake everyone said was awful… but it couldn’t be THAT awful, could it? No, surely it couldn’t. Then I watched Neil LaBute’s take on “The Wicker Man”.
Oh my.
I am seriously disturbed that I‘m about to say this. Here is a movie so amazingly bad, I found myself thinking that I actually enjoyed “The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made” more than “The Wicker Man.” A comparison was in order.
Microwave Massacre gave us the line, “I’m so hungry, I could eat a whore.”
The Wicker Man? “OH, NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHH!”
Point: Microwave Massacre
Microwave Massacre gave us a black man without rhythm as a character.
The Wicker Man gave us an offensively stereotyped women’s rights advocate who talks like a Renaissance Festival reject.
Again, the point goes to Microwave Massacre.
Microwave Massacre had me sure that it was never going to get any better, or conversely, much worse than it was at any given time.
The Wicker Man had me perpetually wondering how they could make it worse… and then did.
I guess from a “suspense” angle, the point goes to The Wicker Man on that one.
Lastly, Microwave Massacre was misogynistic in that it portrayed women as sexual objects to be ogled and literally consumed.
The Wicker Man was misogynistic in that it portrayed all women as conniving, scheming creatures whose contempt for men overrides basic human compassion.
Okay, a tie there, but the advantage goes to Microwave Massacre overall… making The Wicker Man the worse - or at least the less enjoyable - film.
Honestly, you get the feeling that everyone knows that the movie is going to be awful. A couple of people look like they desperately want to apologize to the audience during certain scenes. Neil LaBute’s fear of women is palpable and ultimately laughable. His heavy handed update totally abandons the spirit of the original and oftentimes feels like it’s openly mocking the original.
The original offered a pagan religion where men and women were equals, god and goddess worshiped alike for their part in the circle of life. Here, it’s a woman-centric, vaguely bee themed religion. When Nick Cage heroically screams, “THIS IS MURDER! MURDER! YOU'LL ALL BE GUILTY, AND YOU'RE DOING IT FOR NOTHING! KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN HONEY!”, you can’t help believe him wrong, because the movie has presented no other option.
The original drew parallels between Christianity and paganism, and idea of sacrifice… the remake just beats you over the head with stupid lines, dumb assumptions and plot holes.
“How'd it get burned? How'd it get burned? HOW'D IT GET BURNED, HOW'D IT GET BURNED?”
That is this movie’s idea of subtle folks.
I’d like to say it’s so bad it’s good. But with the exception of Nick Cage running around in a bear suit punching women out, it’s not. It’s painful. Just stick to the original, or at least Microwave Massacre.
Movie for 10/13/07 - Not sure, but something good to wash the taste of The Wicker Man out of my mouth... tastes like... honey?!?!?!
See. You totally loved Microwave Massacre. ;)
See. You totally loved Microwave Massacre. ;)
I was wrong to ever doubt you.
Here is my suggestion.
The Pit and the Pendulum by Edgar Allen Poe. It came out in 1961. I saw it about 37 years ago and I still think about it. It scared the crap out of me.
It also starred Vincent Price.
From Wikipedia: "Perhaps most notable are the movies directed by Roger Corman and starring Vincent Price: House of Usher (1960), The Pit and the Pendulum (1961), Tales of Terror (1962), The Raven (1963), The Masque of the Red Death (1964) and The Tomb of Ligeia (1965). One film, 1962's The Premature Burial, starred Ray Milland and Hazel Court, with Price notably absent."
In Quebec, grade 7 was the first grade in high school. The school showed it to us. They were going to show it again for more students but as one boy in grade seven was so scared and threw up, his mother called the school and the movie was not shown again.
I saw it on TV again a few years later and it still scared me. Maybe I should try to find it and watch it again! :)
Movie #14 - “Candyman” (1992)
Now THAT’S how you use bees in a horror movie!
Actually, this is how you do a lot of things in a horror movie, period. Clive Barker’s take on the ‘Bloody Mary’ mythos was a great read in his ‘Books Of Blood’, and this is one of the few Barker stories to really translate well onto film. Maybe I should say that’s one of the two (the other being “Hellraiser“) that retains the qualities that make his writing special. That dreamy quality combined with a frankness and explicitness.
The movie itself deals with urban legends, what makes them, what breaks them and how they could possibly exist. A moment to profess love: Virginia Madsen is awesome in this one. She portrays a grad student working on a thesis regarding urban legends, and one known as “Candyman” in particular. Her research leads her to the supposed scene of a long ago crime that transformed the noble son of an ex-slave into the thing of nightmare. That’s where the line between dream, fantasy and reality sort of blurs. Don’t you hate when that happens?
“BERNADETTE!!”
Sorry, had to get that out.
I’ve seen this one a few times, and a cool thing happens each time: I get scared.
It stems from the odd trick the filmmakers manage to pull where they keep you uncertain. There’s an uneasiness that oozes from this film - maybe it’s that the filmmakers were uneasy about filming in the real life Cabrini Green - that make you nervous. It’s a feeling that, even though you’ve seen the movie before… maybe it’s changed.
Tony Todd portrays such an unearthly, sophisticated bad guy that you think maybe…just maybe he figured out a way around the film. Candyman, as a villain, he’s very untraditional. No specific vendetta, he just is. While his origins should lend him to be a basic stalk-n-slasher, the film avoid that trap, and makes him a transcendent villain who becomes plausible through untraditional qualities.
Oh, and bees.
Movie for 10/14/07 - A short one, too be sure. I’m tired.
Movie #15 - "The Devil's Hand" (1962)
Honestly, what is there not to love about the cult experience? I mean there's camaraderie, shared goals, cool handshakes, sometimes even a nifty hat! Yup, good times and blood sacrifices... oh. Wait. I knew there was a catch in there somewhere.
"The Devil's Hand" takes on a not-so-harrowing journey into the heart of cult living. We start with Rick, who may just be the world's worst boyfriend. Ladies, tell me if you had a man who kept delaying marriage, quitting jobs left and right, is chronically late and is always telling you about the dreams he has nightly about a strange woman that you wouldn't have given him the boot about 5 minutes before this movie started? Not poor Donna. Nope, she's hooked into the dope hook, line and sinker.
But guess what? That strange dream woman? She's also got it bad for Mr. Future Alimony Suit. Why? I'm sure it was cut from the script somewhere. So where does this leave us?
The Doll Shop!
Yes, your friendly neighborhood doll shop. I know I visit mine weekly, if not more. You see, our surely doomed couple happens upon this shop and finds a doll in the likeness of dream girl, that Rick supposedly already ordered and paid for. This confounds Donna, but not enough to finally leave the jerk. Maybe that's because there's also a doll that looks like her, but the shady Doll Shop owner insists isn't. A little voodoo hoodoo later, and Donna's in the hospital and Rick's in the arms of Dream Girl who is part of a cult.
Of course, Rick buys in, never mind that it is a cult for the "Gomba, Devil God Of Evil". I mean, what could go wrong there? Money and good times follow until a bothersome thing called a "conscience" starts chiming in.
Looking at the above, it may seem that there's a lot going on in this movie. Don't believe it. "The Devil's Hand" is a pretty standard cult flick and a basic morality tale. Devoid of drama, it holds your interest by throwing a lot of random and occasionally ridiculous stuff at you. A Buddha statue shows up in the cults headquarters, a random "Evil God Of Love" is mentioned, there's a reporter red herring... but at the end of the day - or film rather - you're left just saying, "Huh."
A nice diversion, but if you're looking for something substantial, pray to Gomba to send you something else. But since he's evil, he'd probably just send you The Wicker Man '06.
Bastard.
Movie for 10/15/07 - "Death Spa" (1988)
oh! oh! oh! Candyman!!!
I tried to watch that one time in BROAD daylight with a girlfriend of mine. We were about 17 at the time I guess. We were doing OK until the first time you hear Candyman speak, in that low, gravelly voice. What does he say again? Her name? "Heeelleeeeeennnn" maybe? I can't remember.
We screamed bloody murder and ran from the room.
Two grown girls.
Pathetic.
Still gives me chills though.
I don't know how you and (more impressively) your wife do it, and_it_spoke. I think I can handle about 1 horror movie a YEAR, and this year's movie was Grindhouse: Death Proof (2007), which we rented this weekend. Highly entertaining, excellent cast, and I only had to cover my face twice. It actually kinda felt like a really cool chick flick at times. That Quentin Tarantino is a freak, though. Gotta love him.
Movie #16 - "Death Spa" (1988)
Horror movies are very special to me in a lot of regards. They're fun, a source of bonding for many of like mind, interesting insights into what makes us human. Maybe coolest of all, horror movies can serve as a cultural zeitgeist. They can tell us what was on peoples minds, their main concerns and of course, society's greatest fears. From movies like "The Exorcist" and "Rosemary's Baby", we can see anxiety over the perceived secularization of American society and the hidden dangers of New Age ideas that were becoming mainstream at the time. In movies like "Last House On The Left", we can see the impact that The Manson Family Murders had on society - suddenly, you weren't safe anywhere.
So what can we learn from "Death Spa"?
I can now say, with some degree of certainty, people went to gyms in the 1980's. I have "The Toxic Avenger" as secondary evidence to back me up on this wild claim.
Sure, there was a fitness craze in the 1980's. However, did it really merit it's own horror movie? Maybe, but I see that as more of a result of a movement that came into full bloom in the 1980's. Take one aspect of popular culture - spas, microwaves, computer games - and then ask, "How can I kill someone with it?" While this may sound lame, I actually kind of miss it. Sadly, now it has devolved into what movie has been popular, and making a standard horror film out of that. Really. Go to your local video store and find how many "horror" versions of popular movies there are. I know of at least 3 "Pirates Of The Carribean" knock offs, personally.
Sure, the results of this trend weren't always memorable, but for the most part, they were fun. And for all it's numerous faults, "Death Spa" is fun. There's really something for everyone here. Spandex clad weirdos prancing around in day-glo to annoying synth music? Check! Female nudity galore? Check! Horror icons (in this case "Dawn Of The Dead"'s Ken Foree) in a horrible role/attire? Check.
But best of all, we get cool kills. Up until this point, this project has been lacking a movie with truly gooey, awesome kills. We've put a patch on that with "Death Spa". We get exploding heads, death by reanimated frozen fish, scalding to death (with equals melting ribcage, by the way), snapped rib-cages, impalings... the red flows here.
Best of all, the movie is played perfectly straight. Eveyone involved acts as if they're going for an Oscar here. The results are predictably laughable. Especially considering the plot...
Oh, yeah the plot... Possessed computer nerd ghost automatic-gym control blindness.... eh, it's not important.
Death Spa = Boobs, Blood, Beasties and BOOM! goes the head!
Movie for 10/16/07 - "Killer Klowns From Outer Space" (1988)
Movie #17 - "Killer Klowns From Outer Space" (1988)
Some horror movie titles are tough to live up to. "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre", for example. It has such a reputation and an amazing title, so that when modern audiences see it, they say "What's the big deal?" or "Where's the blood?". "I Drink Your Blood", "Flesh For The Beast" and countless other horror movies suffer from "title shock". It's where what is promised in the title is not delivered in the movie itself. So it's always nice when a movie delivers on it's title. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you.... "Killer Klowns From Outer Space"!!!
People fear clowns. Me, personally... I never really got it. Sure, under the right circumstances, they can pretty freaky. Tim Curry as Pennywise? Only redeeming part of "It". Otherwise, clowns to me feel cheap. An easy out when you want to be creepy. Given that not everyone is clown phobic, it would take some actual effort to really live up to the movie's title. Again, this movie succeeds.
Whereas it would have been easy to just put people in clown make up and say that they're from outer space, the Chiodo brothers did not cop out. Instead, they created monsters. Wonderfully detailed, crafted and unsettling monsters. They gave the implied perversions of innocence shape in their Killer Klown designs. Not just implying something sinister of these childhood icons, but full out transforming them into monsters. It's not the just the clowns transformed, it's all their circus trappings that are now deadly, and it's done with such malefic glee, it's hard not to be amused as well as unsettled.
Our plot mimics that of The Blob - although much of the movie is an outright homage to The Blob. A meteor crashes outside of a small town. That meteor ain't no meteor, however and soon our titular fiends are roaming about a small town turning unwitting citzens into cotton candy cocoon snacks. Cotton candy rays, popcorn guns, shadow puppets and more are all used to dispatch innocents in ways ranging from humorous (puppet shows) to horrific (block literally knocked off!). Clown and circus tricks are used left and right (my favorite? Our heroine looks out the window to see killer clowns dressed as firemen ready to catch her) and there's enough bad humor to offset the grimness of the actual feeding proceedings.
If you're afraid of clowns, this is a movies that will make you want to lock yourself in a bomb shelter. If you love fun and funny horror flicks, than this is even more so for you. Because there are so many nods to different sci-fi and horror movies that the movie is not just a great monster movie in and of itself, but a love letter to horror and sci-fi films of yore. The Blob, Forbidden Planet, and Psycho are all referenced, and the spirit of those monster invasion films keeps proceedings fun. My only gripe: We never got to see what the clown hammer could do.
Killer Klowns, eh? I can think of worse ways to go.
Movie for 10/17/07 - "Dead Birds" (2005)
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