How do you date when you are a vegan?
Posted by rediscoverlife81 on Jul 28, 2009 · Member since Feb 2009 · 101 posts
I'm a total idiot when it comes to dating in general, but I think that being a vegan would make it even more difficult for an already socially awkward individual.
hrm.....well being in a very veg*n friendly city IS helpful, tends to take the stigma out of things.....But, even as a Pescatarian, I've had issues. The way I tend to treat it is when out at dinner ask questions about the food, or when deciding on a place to go, ask if _____________ has 'veg options' or say something along the lines as ____________has food I can eat, so let's go there! Another way I've done it is be fairly straight forward about it (minus the emotional/political side of things) tell them how the diet works for you and explain that if you eat something not veg*n you could wind up being very ill.
I was reared Pescie, so my body has never learned how to digest other animal proteins.... If a potential or current partner asks me why I haven't broadened my dietary horizon, I simply tell them I'm too lazy/don't believe hugging a toilet for a nausea, diarrhea, cramp filled month is worth me being able to eat a steak! After all, I've lived just fine without it for this long, why do I need to change it just for them to feel more comfortable.
Also, if you feed them some nom worthy foods, you will tend to win over even the staunchest omni. When it comes to semi communal living (ie 'over nights') have a few separate pans for food prep is a good idea also. You need to be clear about your boundaries as to what you're comfortable (or not) with having in your place, and have some 'you friendly' food at their place.
In college, I had two friends who dated for a while. He recently became vegan before they started dating, she wasn't. How they went about it was she had cans of tuna at his place for her to eat when she felt the need for animal protein. Whether or not he'd be comfortable with this if he didn't already have an omni roommate, I don't know. But, knowing him, I think he would have.
Veganism is sexy! We're living lives of conscience and actually walking the walk of our ethical beliefs. How rare is it to find people who are into something so life-changing and healthy and good? People fucking love good vibes and powerful energy. Embrace yourself and everyone else will too.
The ideal solution, of course, is to find someone like-minded who is also awesome and super sexy and whatnot. Back when I was unattached I dated ladies mostly, but never ever any veggies. However, I have two male exes who both converted (and stayed) vegan. I can send their numbers on if anyone's interested... ;)
I don't think it makes dating anymore difficult. Thank goodness, because I don't need one more thing to make it even more uncomfortable!
I guess I'm pretty lucky. I only went veg 6 months or so ago, but my bf (who I've been dating for two and a half years plus now) was totally cool about it. He loves the food I cook for him and will even read the packaging of something he is eating so that he knows if he can share it or not. :)>>> He says he could never be fully veggie because he craves meat too much when he's not eating it (which is fair, since I think that some people are just not well suited to vegetarianism, either mentally or physically), but I've convinced him to eat more vegetables, so I'd say it's fair.
being vegan has steriotypes but i normally don't bring it up in conversation unless i'm ordering food. then it usually leads to conversation rather than turn people off. no akward silences on a date for sure :) My bf is omni and met me when i was an ovo lacto veg, when i went vegan he was cool with it even though i'm still trying to conver him lol :)
To be honest, most people I've been interested in are either a) vegan or b) open to veganism and really into my cooking.
8)
Well I had a wonderful date. She's not ready for anything as far as a relationship and I am just so weary and cautious. Perhaps just liking/ having interest in someone is a good route instead of diving head first. We have beach plans monday, if she's up for it.
As far a vegan date itenary, I picked her up and head to Caravan of Dreams for dinner.
They have a decent selection of raw dishes that were good but expensive and the service was horrid.
We could have easily just left without paying as they were that clueless. We should have. We then strolled over to Lulus for ice cream cones and a walk through Tomkins Sq park. Her friend was having a birthday party at 10/11 bar on Ave C, so she was up for having me meet her friends. We enjoyed conversation, jokes and getting sweet on each other. I got a kiss and gave her a huge hug, she's dealing with a lot right now and I dont feel theres place for me currently, maybe down the road.
Second date was a flop.
I'm a total idiot when it comes to dating in general, but I think that being a vegan would make it even more difficult for an already socially awkward individual.
I can relate, I have like social down-syndrome or something.
Especially when it comes to the ladies that's a total mess! I'm a very introverted person, but i don't think the whole vegan thing has set any more limits.
I guess I have to just make a total ass of myself until my social IQ improves. maybe i don't know do a little less fumble fucking with words.
best of luck!
I feel your pain David. I totally suck at talking to people especially guys. I tend to feel all awkward like everything I say sounds dumb and people are judging me for it. I'm alright at chit chat but if I'm talking to someone I think is attractive I just clam up or I don't even talk to them at all. I've been single for almost 3 years and haven't dated anybody in that time (God, I hate dating!!!). I was interested in one of my friends and felt that he may have been reciprocating the interest but I wasn't sure and didn't act on it. So now he is with some other chick and that totally sucks but I don't know if I was giving him mixed signals or making him feel like I wasn't interested. I think it was more me being intimidated by him and by all the other girls that are into him. I must be as clueless in perception and social interactions as I am in flirting, which is funny because I am actually a great academic conversationalist. It probably dosn't help that I seem to be most attracted to artists, musicans and tattooed a**holes. At this point I don't feel like I'm going to find a vegan to date or anyone else for that matter. I'm just kind of seeing where my life takes me right now and trying to finish my senior year of college before heading off to grad school.
Good luck though, Your probably doing a lot better than me at this whole dating game thing!
Its good to know that I'm not the only one. I'm pretty sure I have you beat I've never been in a real relationship. (I know my life fucking rocks)
I'm pretty sure everyone is attracted to an ass hole and or bitch at some point, ok maybe at few points.
Even so, I'm trying not to get discouraged with the whole dating thing. I'm a pretty negative son of a bitch so your not allowed to get discouraged because that's just a little too discouraging.
When I'm in other social situations I do fine but throw an interesting girl my way, and i can get a pretty good train wreck going.
Yeah I'm busy with school and work too so i know that can be time consuming. But why your at school finishing your undergrad keep an eye out for that attractive artistic tattooed musician who can't stop staring. :)
"There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in."
Lenord Cohen
um... an optimistic quote maybe
this is happened to me before , but I do something like apologize if any body invite me to eat any thing, just it !
It's so difficult. Most of men don't understand what I'm talking about.
Vegan is so a mystery for them...
Granted, I live in NYC which is, for the most part, a very liberal and vegan-friendly city, but I am actually totally SHOCKED at the problems people are having with dating solely because they are vegan. Why? What is the problem? Are you un-willing to date non-vegans? Because, IMO, that's kind of ridiculous. That's just as bad as someone not wanting to date you because you ARE vegan. Maybe even worse! I say it's worse on the vegan's part because it's an opportunity to educate someone and show them options.
Personally, I've never once had a problem dating because of my veganism? I'm actually really really curious to hear the specific problems people have had? I have to say every guy I've told has either been turned on by it, completely neutral about it, or at the very worst would like tease me about it in a friendly way. I'd love to give people advice on the subject, and also hear what people are doing wrong?! This is so mind-boggling to me...
Just be yourself and tell them. Not in any kind of angry way...just a matter of fact "Oh, I am vegan" in a nice friendly way.
I know the topic of veganism can be very emotionally charged and hard to discuss without emotion. That is exactly how it was for me as a young person. I was so emotional about it, I couldn't discuss it without a little bit of drama because I simply did not know how.
Now that I am older and more skilled...I will simply tell them without any rancor. And then once you do watch and listen. What do they say? How to they react? Find out how friendly they will be to your lifestyle. That is what you are looking for...not necessarity another vegan (although that would be ideal) but someone who will at least be willing to be friendly and respectful of your lifestyle. After telling them, it's up to them to let you know how they feel about it and up to you to listen to what comes up next!
Oh, almost forgot the obvious. If you are male you should not have to worry. There are tons more vegan females than males. Go to vegan events and sign up for vegan dating sites and you won't have a problem. Us females, because of sheer numbers, might have to compromise.
And lastly, be happy in yourself....your veganism!
if you roll like me, you dont get laid...
I don't see it as being a big issue or major obstacle. Most of the time I can see that vegans are generally attracted to each other. :)
up front and honest with no anger or preaching
I can understand the stance that some vegans have that are unwilling to date a meat eater, but I think the key distinction is between those who exclusively wants to date someone who is already vegan and those who are willingly to educate and convert a willing and open-minded meat eater. I do think rejecting all meat eaters, even the ones who would be open to veganism if they were enlightened is creating an environment where you're missing out on opportunity. Those vegans should think of how they were before they stopped eating meat and many wish someone would have educated them sooner on the benefits of veganism. But the vegans who are willing to convert the right meat eaters but see themselves as incompatible with someone who would never give up meat is completely understandable. I don't want meat in my refrigerator and kitchen, in my mates mouth, and salmonella on my counter tops neither. Being vegan is a core part of who many are and having this in common with a soul mate is special.
damn it where are the hot vegan boys?!
i would eat a meat eater hoping that i could open his eyes... i will never allow meat in my house so hopefully by the time we actually moved in he would at least be or respect my ethics by not having a bunch of nasty animal crap polluting our house...
i would eat a meat eater hoping that i could open his eyes..
You'd eat a meat eater?
Not vegan! :D
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