How do you date when you are a vegan?
Posted by rediscoverlife81 on Jul 28, 2009 · Member since Feb 2009 · 101 posts
I'm a total idiot when it comes to dating in general, but I think that being a vegan would make it even more difficult for an already socially awkward individual.
um, not really for me its always been a conversation starter, and somewhat of a turnon for the *people* i dated before settling down *somewhat* my current signif other doesn't seem to mind. but he hates that i make him feel guilty about his diet.
what really gets them is when you say you're a raw foodist :-X
what really gets them is when you say you're a raw foodist :-X
Sad but true...telling them you are a raw foodist is tantamount to telling them you are a cult member and offering them kool-aid.
In person, I am totally socially inept. As an ovo-lacto vegetarian (before going vegan and then raw foodist) in social situations with omnis, not even date situations, it could be difficult so I can't imagine trying to actively date as a vegan.
I did manage to date a vegan about 2 years ago, but I wasn't looking at the time. He worked at Wild Oats and was apparently checking out my basket in the store and once he figured out I was a vegetarian, he approached me. I guess he didn't want to accidentally hook up with an omni. I think it's actually a pretty smart way to try and meet someone who shares your ideals. Hang out in health food stores and stalk people with vegan products in their baskets! >:D
hahahaha thats an awesome idea, storm. also if you're ballsy, strike up convo at a juice bar or veggie restaraunt with someone ordering a vegan option...great convo start and a great way to get your flirt on!
you don't!
no, but really... ummm do you mean that you would like to have a vegan SO or do you mean you are afraid of telling people you are vegan? i'm not going to lie, i have had a few people that i could tell were totally into me turn completely the other way after i told them i was vegan... but really, those people aren't worth anything, anyway. i would just try to join up with like-minded organizations and such to meet people.
Ha I totally check out what other have in their shopping baskets.
I've been fortunate to meet woman that are at least vegetarian.
Once i cook for them they respond that they could eat better, more healthy, more vegan, more less processed.
Once i cook for them they respond that they could eat better, more healthy, more vegan, more less processed.
HAHAHA. i laugh because every (previous) person i have dated always uses stupid phrases like that "yeah, i don't eat much meat... yum this is all so good... blah blah blah."
really helps you weed out the lying losers.
I think I just said this in another thread, but I think awkward people are going to be awkward regardless of what they eat. Awkwardness is about social skills.
Story time! Back in the fall/winter (December?) I went on a date with a vegan boy for coffee or whatever. At the end of the date, he leaned in to, I guess, give me a kiss on the cheek or something. I don't even know. It was so poorly executed I had no idea what the heck he was doing. He was like, "I was going to give you a kiss!" Yeah, no. I guess the total lack of chemistry made me feel like neither hugs nor kisses were in order. Awkward! He was just an awkward dude. I didn't date him after that.
Anyway. So, what part would you think would be awkward? Introducing the fact that you are vegan? Possible arguments? How the person will react?
I think if you are confident, in ANY situation, nothing like that should matter. I mean, be it veganism, or your religion, or what music you like, etc. It's all about the confidence and being like, hey, this is me, and I'm going to be me, and you can go ahead and be you.
Awkward people are awkward people. Some vegans are awkward and some are not. Some omnis are awkward and some are not. That's all!
Once i cook for them they respond that they could eat better, more healthy, more vegan, more less processed.
HAHAHA. i laugh because every (previous) person i have dated always uses stupid phrases like that "yeah, i don't eat much meat... yum this is all so good... blah blah blah."
really helps you weed out the lying losers.
I think I just said this in another thread, but I think awkward people are going to be awkward regardless of what they eat. Awkwardness is about social skills.
Story time! Back in the fall/winter (December?) I went on a date with a vegan boy for coffee or whatever. At the end of the date, he leaned in to, I guess, give me a kiss on the cheek or something. I don't even know. It was so poorly executed I had no idea what the heck he was doing. He was like, "I was going to give you a kiss!" Yeah, no. I guess the total lack of chemistry made me feel like neither hugs nor kisses were in order. Awkward! He was just an awkward dude. I didn't date him after that.
Anyway. So, what part would you think would be awkward? Introducing the fact that you are vegan? Possible arguments? How the person will react?
I think if you are confident, in ANY situation, nothing like that should matter. I mean, be it veganism, or your religion, or what music you like, etc. It's all about the confidence and being like, hey, this is me, and I'm going to be me, and you can go ahead and be you.
Awkward people are awkward people. Some vegans are awkward and some are not. Some omnis are awkward and some are not. That's all!
*note to self, grab kmk passionately.
I've been fortunate to meet woman that are at least vegetarian.
That's because there is like 1,000,000 veg woman to ever 1 veg man. You guys are soooo lucky just in terms of numbers!
A vegan friend and I were discussing how all the vegan guys we had dated were kinda jerks! You would think that veg guys would be inherently nice guys--but here's the thing--vegan guys (in my area) don't have to try hard at all to be a good boyfriend because they know there are a jillion other vegan girls who would line up for a date--and trust me, they are all a lot thinner, younger, and prettier than I am!
I'm not engaging in a guy bash here--I'm just saying from my experiences (and my friends) that where we live there is such a disparage in numbers that the veg guys out here take advantage of this and well...don't exactly treat girls very well. It's bizarre.
Anyways...dating as a vegan (and a raw foodist!) is extremely difficult. My last serious relationship was ended with the prime factor being that I was vegan and he was not. And mind you HE was the one that broke up with ME.
So...I guess what I'm trying to say is....when you all figure out how to date while being vegan--please, PLEASE, let me know too!!! *lol*
i have had a few people that i could tell were totally into me turn completely the other way after i told them i was vegan... but really, those people aren't worth anything, anyway.
*Trying very hard to put this in my heart*
You're so right Hespy..oh so right...
I actually agree.
*note to self, grab kmk passionately.
Teehee ;)
i have had a few people that i could tell were totally into me turn completely the other way after i told them i was vegan... but really, those people aren't worth anything, anyway.
That's so true! I'm trying to pound it into my head and my heart, but I honestly don't know if I want to be the exception anymore.
I think you date as a vegan the same way you date as an omni, or Christian, or blonde. Find people who respect who you are and your beliefs and get to know them. They might not share every single belief or point of view but so long as they respect you, thats what counts.
i have had a few people that i could tell were totally into me turn completely the other way after i told them i was vegan... but really, those people aren't worth anything, anyway.
That's so true! I'm trying to pound it into my head and my heart, but I honestly don't know if I want to be the exception anymore.
Aw, what do you mean, be the exception? Like, you would consider abandoning being vegan because it's something that makes you different from most people out there? Don't do that. :(
Yeah, I guess it's true that if you weren't vegan, you would stand a better chance with the handful of close-minded omni's who can't muster the confidence to respect another person's eating habits and beliefs. That's not an advantage! It's a hindrance!
Well, I haven't tried dating since being vegetarian, but my BF is omni and it's not so bad. You just have to have a lot of mutual respect and communication.
;)b
Aside from that, if someone isn't interested in you just because you're vegan, they're not someone who would be good for you in the long run, even if you weren't vegan.
People like that are unwilling to accept others whose habits and beliefs differ from their own. They're close-minded and downright unpleasant to spend a substantial amount of time with.
With somebody like that, if it wasn't veganism, it would be your religion, or your views on raising kids, or that you're a cat person and they're a dog person, or that your hair is too short, or you get your nose pierced, or that you never wear socks.
Honestly.... trust me... it's not that you're vegan. It's that they can't accept people who are unique.
i think we always want to be observant of the vibes that we are giving out to the world as well. It's very easy to paint a mental self-portrait of ourselves and then, any interaction we get back from the world - we tell ourselves "a story" and automatically associate that interaction with our colored perception.
I'll give an example. Perhaps someone has had a bad experience in the past with someone that was vegan. Perhaps this person is now not sure of exactly what type of approach to take. In our minds - we might perceive their confusion in a negative light. We may tell ourselves that "oh, they're being all quiet and withdrawn now because they're judging us" when in fact - maybe they're just trying to figure us out.
Another example might be someone might have misconceptions about a vegan/vegetarian. Maybe they've never come across someone w/that lifestyle before - and again, they're simply not sure what, if anything, is appropriate or not. So they might seem standoffish until they feel more comfortable.
In essence - that's pretty common in the dating scene in general (or just, in getting to know someone)l. People are ~so~ diverse and two Christians can potentially be very diverse from one another, the same with two vegans, two hunters...etc etc. I've come across people in dating where they might have been totally offended by something i did/said (we're not talking about anything physical or intimate here) whereas another person may have laughed their ass off at the same - so there can very easily be that awkwardness in getting to know someone.
In short, i would say if someone's mannerism changes when they hear of your lifestyle - think about what you may be projecting to them and don't presume their changes are negative per'se, they might simply be adjusting and if you get beyond that aspect - who knows, maybe you'll find lots to like about that person.
I'd like to add a lot of a relationship is based on fair and equal reciprocation and of course the ability to have an understanding of ones partners decision making.
I'd like to add a lot of a relationship is based on fair and equal reciprocation and of course the ability to have an understanding of ones partners decision making.
Yes! I agree.
Since going vegan (only a few months ago :) ) I have often wondered how I'd go meeting new people, considering how difficult its been with my current friends and family. But I guess the 2 points I'd keep in mind is first not to compromise myself and my beliefs, and secondly, the really good ones that aren't veg may be worth persevering with ... telling people your vegan is usually very confronting, and i think after the initial reaction, you might be surprised. Just don't be disappointed by their first impression is what i think! maybe that also sounds kinda desperate ... lol
I was actually converted by my current boyfriend who is vegan, I consider myself extremely lucky! It took me a fortnight and a viewing of Earthlings before I made up my mind, I'm glad he was patient with me :)
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