To my homosexual friends:
Posted by Allychristine on Nov 05, 2009 · Member since Dec 2007 · 15438 posts
1. Does it bother/annoy/etc. you when people use the term "gay" to mean "stupid"? It's always bothered me, since the very first time I heard it used!
2. Does it bother/annoy/etc. you when people use what they think to be gay voices and mannerisms..in a joking manner? I've noticed a lot of my co workers (straight males and females) do this. I'm just like... ???
While I'm not homosexual, I thought I'd chime in...
It does bother me when other people do these things - almost to the point where it angers me - however, I do it all the time with my gay friends....I make fun of them, they make fun of me back - I often refer to my friend Art as "my homo" - I know thats not what you really meant, but I guess its kind of a double standard....
I often refer to my friend Art as "my homo" - I know thats not what you really meant, but I guess its kind of a double standard....
Yeah, that's kind of why I was wondering. Like, it's obviously not ok if the person is doing it maliciously, but jokes are often made. I still don't like it, period, but I was just curious.
Maybe I just don't have any homosexual friends.
;)
Maybe I just don't have any homosexual friends.
;)
Hmmm.... I'm hetero and this is my view:
I hate it when people use those terms in a malicious and ignorant way. I do banter back and forth with friends (as does erinmonster), but that is with friends (both gay and not). I have more lesbian friends than gay friends, but none of them have a problem with those terms/mannerisms that are supposed to be used in a joking manner. I've been made fun of for being hetero. In general I don't use 'gay' to mean 'stupid' though. I use the word I mean... I think it is the same as using other terms that are generally not accepted in poliet society.
I asked one coworker about it, and he said it's just a way to joke with friends. Something like "A way to joke between guys. You know I'm straight, I know you're straight..." Ok? They have repressed tendencies? I dunno.
That is just weird. Maybe they need to find another way to connect with one another...
That is just weird. Maybe they need to find another way to connect with one another...
hahaha, I know. It's kind of like when people grasp on to a few funny jokes/sayings/quotes, and that's their type of humor. I think it's like the "cool" thing to do for them. He does it all the time randomly at work, too. Ex. (in the voice that he uses..): "Oh, a few wheat thins never hurt anybody." Wtf, dude.
I'm bisexual, and it...makes me more sad, than anything, else, when terms are used in a negative manner. I really don't like the slang "oh that's gay" or anyhting like that. Same when guys call each other gay as an insult. Even if they're both straight and just joking around, if it sounds like an insutl and can be heard by others you may be saying that right around a homosexual person and it might make them feel bad. I try not to be too militant about the terms and their usage, though.
eh. I'm bisexual so i half count lol. I like to say that something is "gay but not in the cool way". It's my way of taking something negative and making it my own. most of my gay friends make fun of other "types" of gays. like the manly gays make fun of the girly gays. bisexuals tend to be the buttend of alot of jokes. lol. the lbgt group tends to take things in stride and let things go. :)
I'm bi, and I *hate* it when people use "gay" to mean "stupid." I don't think it's appropriate even if only heterosexuals are around (but how do you know anyway? people who say it are assuming everyone around them is straight), because it's not just about if a gay person happens to pass by, but what is meant by using "gay" in that way; it still counts as homophobia. It would still be racist/derogatory for a white person to complain about someone being a n*****, even if everyone in the room is white.
For the second, I haven't really heard people use a "gay" voice in conversation very often (but in stand up, yes). I guess then it depends on the context - if you're depicting how someone actually talks or if you're trying to insult someone by implying they have homosexual mannerisms.
I don't like it at all.
Another thing I've witnessed, at the high school I help with band stuff, is when the guys touch each other (in pretty much any way) they say "no homo!" to ensure that everyone knows they are not gay. It's stupid, but then again, it's high school. They really aren't mature enough to be comfortable with who they are, sexually or otherwise.
When people in college (my age) say anything insinuating that homosexuality is wrong, it makes me mad. It's just ignorant and rude.
I'm straight, and my two best friends are lesbians. I'd like to mention that I get made fun of for being straight. And anytime one of them does or says something stereotypical of a lesbian, I roll my eyes and say "lesbian" is a mock-exasperated tone. When I mention guys or something, she'll do the same thing, calling me straight.
I'm not gay, either, but I thought I'd chime in--I've ALWAYS found the term "gay" to mean stupid to be very insulting. People who say that are unintntionally being very disrespectful.
I have tons of gay friends (well, not tons, but quite a few) and I can't imagine they would find that term acceptable.
As far as impersonating gay people for fun, I'm not sure what they would think, but I've generally found that offensive too. Except in rare cases when it's not done disrespectfully & is just purely fun. For example, I just watched "I could never be your woman" with Paul Rudd, which actually has both of your examples in it. At one point, someone says "That's so gay" which he & others find offensive. But in another scene, he does a "gay" voice/mannerism where he says "Oh, how much are we loving this?!!" about a shirt, and it's just plain funny. Not sure why, but I guess there's a fine line. I think it's in the intent, maybe...Kind of like FaunaBlues said.
Hijacking any descriptive term and making it a perjorative insult is just immature and shows the person's fear of something they don't know. People don't like what they're not used to, or don't understand, and for some of these people, insult is a form of defensiveness. It just shows their lack of maturity.
ETA: Case in point, tho different theme. When I was in gradeschool we always had dogs, and my parents always used the "technical" term for male and female. We never had "boy dogs" or "girl dogs." So when I was asked about pets in class, I said we had two dogs and a bitch. Because we did. I was had up for swearing at my teacher and the principal called my mother. She knew I wouldn't "use language" in class so she asked what I had said. Horrified, the principal said, "She said you had a bitch in your house!!" My mother replied, "We do. We also have two dogs. If you have a problem with the word "bitch" it's in your mentality, not my daughter's vocabulary."
When Angel was like 13 I told her she could curse if she was reasonable and proper in her usage. The only words I kept banned from her use was gay for stupid. I find it completely unacceptable.
When Angel was like 13 I told her she could curse if she was reasonable and proper in her usage. The only words I kept banned from her use was gay for stupid. I find it completely unacceptable.
You're a cool mom! ;)b
When Angel was like 13 I told her she could curse if she was reasonable and proper in her usage. The only words I kept banned from her use was gay for stupid. I find it completely unacceptable.
You're a cool mom! ;)b
Thanks though she probably doesnt think so. I have even let her do things like taste alcohol at home. Of course she took a sip of LB's scotch and decided alcohol was the most disgusting thing on the planet. *looks innocent* (I wont even sip that stuff, ugh!)
When Angel was like 13 I told her she could curse if she was reasonable and proper in her usage. The only words I kept banned from her use was gay for stupid. I find it completely unacceptable.
You're a cool mom! ;)b
Thanks though she probably doesnt think so. I have even let her do things like taste alcohol at home. Of course she took a sip of LB's scotch and decided alcohol was the most disgusting thing on the planet. *looks innocent* (I wont even sip that stuff, ugh!)
I don't think any kid ever really thinks so, at the time. There's always something.
1. No.
2. No.
People are too uptight. Fags need thicker skin, and if they continue to let things like this get them down, we as a community will feel unnecessarily oppressed/outcasted longer than we need to be.
1. No.
2. No.
People are too uptight. Fags need thicker skin, and if they continue to let things like this get them down, we as a community will feel unnecessarily oppressed/outcasted longer than we need to be.
I thought you might feel that way!
1. No.
2. No.
People are too uptight. Fags need thicker skin, and if they continue to let things like this get them down, we as a community will feel unnecessarily oppressed/outcasted longer than we need to be.
I made a joke with K the other day that the only people who care about the use of the word "gay" in that way are straight people. Of course, I don't use it, because I'm not interested in offending people, and I DO NOT let my students use it whatsoever, but it doesn't bother me, to be totally honest. I do think people are too uptight 95% of the time.
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