How do you do it?
So I am relatively new to veg*ism. I was vegetarian in college, and eventually started eating meat little by little for lack of anything to eat (and having no money). However, it's been a while since college, and I want that healthy clean feeling again. Honestly, I feel like crap. Luckily, my meat-eating hubby is ALWAYS open to trying new foods, veggie or vegan, so I don't have too many problems on a daily basis. However, one of the couples we hang out with frequently has very different views on what a "good meal" is. Their foods tend to concentrate on meats/cheeses and creamy things. The wife has high calories requirements due to a health condition, so that is part of it. We have them over regularly, and I don't think they always like the foods we eat ourselves, so I always make fatty, cheesey foods for them, and unfortunately, indulge myself :(. I try to send the leftovers home with them, because both my husband and I have weight issues right now.
So my question is: how do you do it? Stay healthy and still be able to entertain? And on the flip side, how do you survive visiting friends when all they have to offer is meat and cheese-laden foods?
Before accepting invitations I inform the host of my veganism and offer to bring a dish or two. This way I'm not sitting down to dinner and having nothing to eat. Your friend will eventually know of your veganism and will consider prior to inviting you. Sadly, you might notice some of these invitations declining, but if you continue to invite them to your home friendships need not be strained. I understand that inviting me over with a group for a dinner party can be too high maintenance.
I've had a couple of fails when it's come to entertaining and now stick to really simple things, like pasta, stir fries, chili, etc. There are some good cookbooks about vegan entertaining such as Vegan Table or Party Vegan for ideas.
Have a potluck and provide only healthy foods. If someone wants to eat fatty cheesy things, they will have to bring it themselves. Or, alternatively, go to a restaurant instead so everyone can order whatever they want.
We have similar friends where the husband's diet consists solely of starch, grains, and meat. He refuses to eat pretty much any fruit or vegetable, other than corn and potatoes. This makes it pretty difficult to cook for him, but I learned that fortunately he does not object to "fake meat", so I generally make a smaller, separate dish that is just for him, usually using fake meat, pasta/bread, and no veggies. The rest of us, including his wife, enjoy the more healthful meal with lots of veggies and fruits. If he doesn't eat it all, I make them take it with them, because we can say truthfully "we won't eat it". Maybe you could do something like that - make a small dish of the unhealthy thing and make it clear that it's for them and don't eat it yourself. Then make the rest of the meal healthy things. If they don't like any of the healthy things, they will just have to eat more of the unhealthy stuff, so you won't have leftovers. :)
You can also make high-calorie vegan meals for these guests. Kinda like they say in Veganomicon, you have to wow them with tender loving fat ;)b. Pastas with olive oil, curry with coconut milk, vegan chili topped with avocado, etc.