I am a single mom too, and I know how rough it is to balance all the things that are going on in your life.  If any of this comes across as harsh or judgemental, please know that I didn't intend it to sound that way. 

First things first.  If health was not a concern, I'd probably eat chocolate for every meal.  I know that it an extreme example, but if the daycare is like any of the ones I've visited, they are feeding him processed food.  (I have yet to see one serve things like baked chicken, vegetables, and fruti.)  They can claim whatever they want about it, but it is junk food.  Your son is too young to make intelligent dietary choices.  He just wants to eat what tastes the best to him.  I know it hurts your feelings, but you have to see it for what it is.  Who wouldn't prefer junk food over healthy food if they weren't going by taste alone.  What Evergreen said is very true.  Through the daycare he has gotten used to processed foods.  You can't expect him to eat your food if he can hold out eat junk food somewhere else. 

I can understand that you want him to make his own choice about being vegan, but by allowing him to eat SAD food most of the time you are making that choice for him more or less.  Research shows that what you are fed the first several years of your life determines your tastes for the rest of your life.  When Caitlin was 3 we were at a restaurant and there was a piece of chicken in her beans.  She spit it out and almost started crying.  She didn't have any idea what it was but said it was disgusting and tried to wash her mouth out.  Now she cringes when she sees people eating chicken.  I don't know anyone else who has tried and disliked chicken.  My point is that we like what we are used to eating.  He could choose to be vegan later in life, but for now you have made the choice for him to be nonvegan.  Is that really what you intended? 

I really hate making anything other than desserts for nonvegans around here.  People here don't really eat vegetables routinely and don't like anything that isn't swimming in grease and/or velveeta.  The food they eat literally sickens me just looking at it.  If it doesn't come out of a box, they won't eat it.  Being vegan or not has little to do with it I think.  It's more about processed versus whole foods.  It hurts when people snub what I make, but I've learn to take it in context. 

I am a single mom too.  My daughter is almost the top priority in my life.  Feeding her healthy food is very important to me.  I'm not saying that these things aren't true of you and your son, but sometimes I need to sit down and really prioritize things.  The choice is obviously up to you, but I personally wouldn't let him eat the daycare's food anymore.  He will protest for a while, but once his tastes changed he would be fine.  You mentioned a few things he likes.  Start there.  If he will eat fruit, maybe add a nut-based dip to round out the meal.  I have yet to find a kid that won't drink a smoothie.  Fixing a lunch for the next day isn't that hard if you do it while making dinner or maybe even over the weekend.  I personally avoid meat/cheese analogs to avoid confusion and because thoy are processed, but in this situation they may be a good place to start.  Trying new things or even bland foods is a good idea, but remember that toddlers like repetition.  If you can find 3 or 4 things he really likes, that is all you really need to get through this picky phase. 

As I see it you really have 2 choices at this point.  You can feed him vegan 99% of the time (accident happen) or mostly give up and feed him omni and let him chose to go vegan later if he chooses.  In my experience it is hard to go back and forth and truly enjoy what you are eating.  I also can't help but wonder what the daycare providers think about this.  Are they thinking "look at that poor kid eat.  His mom only feeds him vegan yucky food at home.  He's practically starving when he comes in."  This is how most nonvegans think.  Is that the message you want to send?  That's really not a major issue, but I could see them intentially feeding him nonvegan stuff even if you put a stop to it, thinking it's in his best interest.  I only mention it, because it is something you need to watch out for.  No matter what you choose to do, your healthy lifestyle will speak loudly to your son, and he is blessed to have you as a mother. 

I agree with what everyone has said, for the most part. If you can send vegan food with your son, but aren't, then you are choosing for him not to be vegan for the sake of ease. If, however, it is like headstart or some other gov. program, then I understand that the kids HAVE to eat what they serve. In that case, do what you can to be consistent at home.

I send a lunch and two snacks every school day with my daughter. Snacks have to contain 2 food groups, one of which must be a protein. I also send soy or almond milk for the days when the other kids have cow milk. It is a total pain in the ass, sometimes. It makes me late for work sometimes, if I was lazy and didn't pack it the night before. Sometimes she comes home with everything still in her lunchbox and I wonder what she DID eat. But, for the most part, she gets a healthy meal, and I don't have to worry too much about her eating weird food. It is do-able.

Pack food the night before, and , like someone said, it doesn't need to be fancy. Kids don't really care if they eat the same thing often. My daughter almost always gets the same basic lunch-a sandwich, soy yogurt or pudding, fruit, nuts or seaweed.

http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=8472.0

there it is!

usually for noah we pack PB and J. It really is a healthy food! Use WW bread. You can try spreading some hemp oil or flax on it, or use a different nut butter. Some recommend not introducing peanuts until age 3. We waited with noah (he used soynut butter a lot) but lyle has peanut butter already.

Noah who is almost  9 now is SUCH a good eater. He eats everything that we prepare now, and wants seconds! he wasn't always that way, and used to want every thing super plain. I hope Lyle will get there someday, but right now it's really tough. He did eat some glazed carrots tonight (brown sugar and EB drenched). And a Boca Chic Patty. I hate giving him those, but DH was cookin tonight!

L2A's grilled cheese sandwich was good :) i just made it!