Translations of SDP (Standard Dating Phrases)
Posted by yabbitgirl on May 25, 2008 · Member since Apr 2006 · 14266 posts
Inspired by the Internet Dating thread, and an episode of Friends, can you give the Standard Dating Phrases for particular situations with their RL translations?
Here's a few to start:
"It's not you, it's me." Translation: Oh, it's you, all right!
"I just need some time." Like, forever.
"I need to find myself." I've already found someone else.
"I'll call you." Yeah, right. I'm already changing my cell number and carrier!
"We're on different paths." Getting farther apart every second...
"Let's just be friends." Forget we ever met.
And how would you translate that old breakup standard: "It just wasn't meant to be"?
I would translate that as "I really don't like you. Stay far, far away or I will call the cops."
I once told a guy after meeting once for coffee, "best of luck to you" and I really meant "good luck meeting any normal woman, since you're one of the most f'ed up people I've ever met" ;D
"You're more like a brother/sister to me." -Ew, sorry...you are unattractive to me, AND you are highly annoying.
I got out of kissing a friend I see occasionally by coming up with, "What if you didn't want to kiss me the next time you see me? How would I feel then?" 8-)
Smooth HH, I'll have to remember that one!
I'm a retired psychologist. Can I take you out?: I'm ugly, old, and boring, but well off. Since you're a woman (which obviously means you're a gold digger), that means I have a chance, right?
Come here often?: Ooooh! Fresh meat! (so not veg*n bleh!)
I'm sorry. I didn't receive your call/text.: I was hoping you wouldn't remember that I totally ignored you.
I'm a retired psychologist. Can I take you out?:
You are SO weird, I bet I can publish your case in the APA Journal.... ;D
My favorite is not seeing someone I was interested for over a year and receiving this line...
"I've been meaning to call, but I've been busy"
My personal translation; I don't know how to deal with you, so I'll just ignore you.
I'm embarassed to admit this one - I never gave out my phone number to guys I met in bars, I'd ask them to write theirs down for me instead (like on a napkin). That way, if I ran into them again, I could say "OMG, I'm so sorry I never called, I left your number in my jeans and it got washed".
I know - kharma's a bitch!
"This doesn't mean that we might not be together again sometime in the future." : I'd like to think that you are so infatuated with me and so devastated by this breakup that you would come back to me if I gave you the opportunity.
I tend to translate most SDP's as: "This is my attempt to make myself feel or at least appear like less of an asshole by placing the blame for asshole behavior on uncontrollable circumstances."
And this is in parenting because...? ;D
Thanks for moving this, Admin.
Anyone else want to chime in?
"I want to take a break"
translation: i want to mess around with other people
"I love you but I'm not IN love with you."
Translation: I don't exactly hate you, but I certainly don't want to sleep with you. Or kiss you. Let's just be friends. Or not.
"You exceeded all, I can look forward to a great friendship for the rest of my life" -- I don't want to hurt you and be the bad guy, but I don't love you anymore, but you can't leave me because I need the ego boost FOREVER!!
or something like that. haha.
"You exceeded all, I can look forward to a great friendship for the rest of my life" -- I don't want to hurt you and be the bad guy, but I don't love you anymore, but you can't leave me because I need the ego boost FOREVER!!
or something like that. haha.
Olympic standard codependent passive-agression. "I can look forward to your friendship..." yeah dude, that's what YOU think. You won't see my tail for dust.
Teade, if someone actually said this to you, tell them for me, they suck.
"You exceeded all, I can look forward to a great friendship for the rest of my life" -- I don't want to hurt you and be the bad guy, but I don't love you anymore, but you can't leave me because I need the ego boost FOREVER!!
or something like that. haha.
Olympic standard codependent passive-agression. "I can look forward to your friendship..." yeah dude, that's what YOU think. You won't see my tail for dust.
Teade, if someone actually said this to you, tell them for me, they suck.
Haha, told!
I am completely done with this character. My tail is sooo far gone to him. Quite coincidental that my life always seems to look up when I have no contact with him.
"We'll do this again soon."
Translation: We will never, ever see each other again. I'm losing both your number and adress. Forget you ever saw me.
"It's been fun." Translation: It's been a nightmare.
"I just need some space." Without you in it.
"Peace." Translation: Go quietly, but go.
"I value you as a friend" is the one I loathe the most. Uh, no, you are not going to value me as a friend. I'm out. Bye!
"I value you as a friend," "I want to stay friends," and all variants of those translate into, "I am trying to ease my conscience about this breakup. If you remain friendly with me I won't feel so shitty about it. And then I'll be able to keep tabs on you and I will still feel needed by you even though I am not." Honestly that's such shit.
And sometimes it translates into, "I have some small droplet of hope that we can get back together some day, some I'm keeping you at arm's length just in case."
I don't do "friends post breakup." No thanks.
"You're more like a brother/sister to me." -Ew, sorry...you are unattractive to me, AND you are highly annoying.
My translation of this is slightly different: YOU ARE REPULSIVE TO ME. PLZ DON'T EVER LOOK AT ME THAT WAY EVER AGAIN
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