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POLL: Do zombies defecate?

Just in time for Halloween! >:D
So my wife, Katie, and her friend, Bonnie, were talking about zombies the other day. They somehow got on the subject of zombies pooping. Katie and I both agree that zombies would definitely have to. It may not be a sophisticated-in-the-toilet-using-toilet-paper type of poop. I'm sure zombies just crap their pants. I mean, if they eat something it has to come out, right? They'd eventually end up rupturing their stomachs if they didn't! But Bonnie just did not agree. Anyway, I wanted to see what you guys thought. Voting closes on Halloween and you can see the results after you've voted. You can choose as many options as you'd like for this one, too.

Y'know those old cartoons in which skeletons drink water, and it all comes spouting out of their ribs and such?
That's how I imagine zombie digestion works.... Their organs don't function like they used to, AND all their tissues are rotting. If they eat too much, their stomachs burst and the contents splooge out. If they're in an advanced state of decay, the contents probably just leak out of some holes in the stomach that have already formed. If they're relatively "fresh," their stomachs might try to move things along. But again, things aren't functioning like they used to....so it's most likely that the consumed flesh will simply rot in their guts.

TRUST ME I KNOW THESE THINGS

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I'm going to vote "no" they don't. I think they burn off the flesh they eat by chasing humans. Nothing is wasted and/or shat-out.

In continuation, I believe if zombies don't eat, they don't don't die off. They just keep circling in the same area. It's like in the original Day of the Dead.. The humans stayed in the underground bunker and the zombies stayed outside the fence and moaned for food. None of the zombies thought to go elsewhere in the town or out of town for food.

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I really thought there would be a bigger discussion about this.

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I really thought there would be a bigger discussion about this.

All right then.

Well, it depends on the level of decay. See, "undead" might be "recently dead" or maybe "totally dead." It also depends on your interpretation of zombie powers. Some zombies are shown in a process of constant decay, yet others are like, super fast and efficient at killing/eating people.

For the efficient zombies, I'd think they would defecate. If they have the capacity to walk/run, grab people, eat brains or whatever they actually eat, then why not digest? Why would the nerve, circulation, and muscles work, but not the GI? In which case, I'd think they'd just poop anywhere. Zombies don't care about social customs, considering they're already hunting their living relatives.

For the decaying zombies, it's a wonder they could even eat people. But I'd still maintain that, if they are capable of such an act, they could also digest. But that part of the process would also be breaking down, like cw said.

Alternative explanations:

- Zombies eat exactly enough to satisfy their energy needs, and are so efficient at digestion that there is no poop. We shall call this the Political Monty Theory

- Zombies are not actually eating people. They chew people up and kill them, but no ingestion takes place. Therefore no digestion takes place.

- Zombies are capable of locomotion and ingestion because they are reanimated by magic/etc. Would the person reanimating make them capable of digestion? Why not, I guess. If they will them to "come back to life," then they would have every life function in tact. Except sex. That would just be gross.

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I really thought there would be a bigger discussion about this.

All right then.

Well, it depends on the level of decay. See, "undead" might be "recently dead" or maybe "totally dead." It also depends on your interpretation of zombie powers. Some zombies are shown in a process of constant decay, yet others are like, super fast and efficient at killing/eating people.

For the efficient zombies, I'd think they would defecate. If they have the capacity to walk/run, grab people, eat brains or whatever they actually eat, then why not digest? Why would the nerve, circulation, and muscles work, but not the GI? In which case, I'd think they'd just poop anywhere. Zombies don't care about social customs, considering they're already hunting their living relatives.

For the decaying zombies, it's a wonder they could even eat people. But I'd still maintain that, if they are capable of such an act, they could also digest. But that part of the process would also be breaking down, like cw said.

Alternative explanations:

- Zombies eat exactly enough to satisfy their energy needs, and are so efficient at digestion that there is no poop. We shall call this the Political Monty Theory

- Zombies are not actually eating people. They chew people up and kill them, but no ingestion takes place. Therefore no digestion takes place.

- Zombies are capable of locomotion and ingestion because they are reanimated by magic/etc. Would the person reanimating make them capable of digestion? Why not, I guess. If they will them to "come back to life," then they would have every life function in tact. Except sex. That would just be gross.

Now this is what I'm talking about.

I'm with you on pretty much everything you said here. I agree that they would just poop anywhere. There'd be flies buzzing around their pants, that much we can be sure of. I understand that they're undead, but if they are able to move/run, process the thought to know what they want to eat and know what they are chasing to eat, eat, see, smell, and hear, why wouldn't they be able to finish the final stage of eating? And if they're totally dead inside, how would it be possible for them to burn calories, much less use the energy to chase and eat humans? Elton John's Circle of Life just popped into my head for some reason.

This also begs the question of what the word "undead" fully means. I've always taken it to mean something or someone dead that was brought back to life, therefore meaning that the undead would be able to perform all actions necessary to properly live. That is, until someone comes along and blasts their head off with a sawed-off shotgun, of course.

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Verily.

But then in some depictions the zombies are falling apart as they go. So in that case, I'd say the closer the zombies are to resurrection, the more functional, and as they decay, they're probably much less able to both eat and digest.

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You both make some good points. I'll have to process this some more. I stand by my thoughts Political Monty Theory, though. Hehehe!

-Josh

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It does not beg the question unless it pretends to answer the question and actually doesn't. It may, however, lead to the question.
Yes, I'm a language nazi. It's my job.

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It does not beg the question unless it pretends to answer the question and actually doesn't. It may, however, lead to the question.
Yes, I'm a language nazi. It's my job.

*highfive*

...

- Zombies eat exactly enough to satisfy their energy needs, and are so efficient at digestion that there is no poop. We shall call this the Political Monty Theory

- Zombies are not actually eating people. They chew people up and kill them, but no ingestion takes place. Therefore no digestion takes place.

- Zombies are capable of locomotion and ingestion because they are reanimated by magic/etc. Would the person reanimating make them capable of digestion? Why not, I guess. If they will them to "come back to life," then they would have every life function in tact. Except sex. That would just be gross.

hmmm..
*strokes invisible beard*
*nods*

I enjoy all of these explanations, especially the third... My favourite zombies are the old from-the-grave, slow and stupid, controlled by voodoo/black-magic types. (The mysterious, from-the-grave, risen and controlled by who-knows-what types are in a close second)
I don't believe any sort of "infection" = zombies, unless the infected die and then come back in a new state of flesh-craving. The desire to consume or destroy human flesh/brains seems to be a common thread.... but as far as I'm concerned, death and subsequent reanimation must BOTH have occured in order to call a person a "zombie."

Now, as far as the old voodoo zombies go, they do whatever they're told.... They might just do hard labor in the fields all day, or they might go and attack the voodoo practitioner's enemies at his/her command. And as fb suggests, s/he might have given the zombies the ability to process food as well as move about and such. And if the corpse was recently deceased, their tissues may well be able to handle such tasks. In the case of the older corpses, however.....

In "The Demon's Rook," Our zombies are summoned from their graves by a powerful demon, who then commands them to kill and devour every human they encounter. I think that my previously-mentioned theory of digestion applies in this case: The zombies' guts would function as holding containers for consumed flesh, but only so far as they are intact. All of Our zombies are fairly decayed, so I don't figure any of them will have what it takes to make feces, only let their meals rot or leak out.

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In the event of the zombie "infection" that seems to come up in so many movies... it'd just be a live person with zombie-like behavior. In that case, I'd say digestion is fully in tact.

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In the event of the zombie "infection" that seems to come up in so many movies... it'd just be a live person with zombie-like behavior. In that case, I'd say digestion is fully in tact.

Well, yeah...if you use "zombie" to mean "living person in an ambulatory coma" then yeah, the body would be intact and functioning, they'd just be brain-dead. Kind of like people in my hometown.

Every time I read the title of this thread my evil twin pops up in my head and chirps, "Who really gives a shit?"

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In the event of the zombie "infection" that seems to come up in so many movies... it'd just be a live person with zombie-like behavior. In that case, I'd say digestion is fully in tact.

Well, yeah...if you use "zombie" to mean "living person in an ambulatory coma" then yeah, the body would be intact and functioning, they'd just be brain-dead. Kind of like people in my hometown.

Every time I read the title of this thread my evil twin pops up in my head and chirps, "Who really gives a shit?"

certain zombies, obviously

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It does not beg the question unless it pretends to answer the question and actually doesn't. It may, however, lead to the question.
Yes, I'm a language nazi. It's my job.

*highfive*

Every time I read the title of this thread my evil twin pops up in my head and chirps, "Who really gives a shit?"

I'm really feelin' the love in this thread.
:(

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She's punning :P Some zombies give a shit. Others obviously don't!

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I generally leave a shit.

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I generally leave a shit.

and here's Your *highfive*

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It's Halloween and the zombie-poo thread needs to be at the top, dagnabbit.

Soooo.... who's been keepin' up with The Walking Dead??
Episode two (last week) showed Daryl slicing open a walker (zombie) to examine the stomach contents... That scene had me cracking the f up, because it was about 1 whole minute of squishy sound effects and grossed-out expressions on the actors' faces. It just. kept. going. :D
ANYWAY. The guts, when they did show them, were all blackened and slimy. The zombie's latest "meal" was some small animal (which wasn't really shown), which I'm guessing would have been all blackened and slimy, too, after a while. Why? Because it rots inside the non-functioning, rotting guts.
Therefore, in The Walking Dead universe, zombies don't poop.

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BUT WHERE DOES THE FOOD GO

maybe it comes out as rotted, undigested flesh

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Nah. Like all dead-rotten animals, they just burst after awhile.

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Nah. Like all dead-rotten animals, they just burst after awhile.

http://media.amctv.com/photo-gallery/TWD-S2-Episode-Photos/episode-1-daryl-rick-walker.jpg

Yup. That, or it just sits there 'til some crazy dude comes along and eh, relieves the pressure.

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