NVR: Keep your man from straying! BS?
Posted by Camillus on Sep 14, 2007 · Member since May 2007 · 1009 posts
http://health.yahoo.com/experts/menlovesex/61750/5-ways-to-keep-your-man-from-straying
My favorite comment, "But we all know how the story goes after that: Time passes, and people slip into a spiral of unfaithful behavior that may start with a flirt, or a cup of coffee, or a drunken night at the hotel bar."
So apparently it is the women's job to keep the relationship together... comments ladies? Did this annoy anyone else?
as a man, i feel slightly insulted by this. I hate anytime Im made to feel like Im just a big walking erection with no real motivation other than finding a willing vagina. This is probably the reason I cant enjoy strip clubs at any level (i just dont get it)
i guess it boils down to wether youre a good person or an a-hole
It is up to the man to make his wife happy and it is up to the wife to make her husband happy.
It takes two to tango.
my own happiness is my responsibity and not ultimately reliant on another.
WOW number 4... Pointers on how to alter his brain chemistry in a way that causes the brain to be less disposed to the undesirable behaviors... CREEPY!
Firefightress, if the article were written to address more readers than just straight women, it would be a different article. Depending on how that different article were written, it might be better or worse, who knows? But this one, which DID choose to address all and only straight women, includes some pretty unhealthy assumptions about a straight woman's role in her relationships, imo.
the guy who wrote this article is a total douche
i can see if he said these are some things to do to keep your husband happy (when all in all it should just say "dont be complacent")
I agree with the time apart and planning/looking forward to cool upcoming events, trips, ect....since its very easy to get tired of the boring old routine. Naturally spicing up the sex life wasnt mentioned (important to both partners)
i think complacency plays a big part in couples getting bored....not that thats a reason to cheat
my own happiness is my responsibity and not ultimately reliant on another.
Agreed. I love this statement. Both my partner and I feel the same way. The whole reason we're together is because, quite selfishly, we want the other person in our lives. They DO make us happy ... but not because they specifically work for it, or because his job is to keep me happy and vice versa. Their presence, character, self, etc. is enough.
Beyond that, we're fulfilled, happy, and complete in and of ourselves. We don't "need" one another to complete ourselves or be happy. I was quite complete and happy without him. He simply adds more to my life, simply by being around. So, I choose to have him in my life. And vice versa. But, neither of us consider it our job to keep the other happy.
It is up to the man to make his wife happy and it is up to the wife to make her husband happy.
It takes two to tango.
my own happiness is my responsibity and not ultimately reliant on another.
I'm talking about within a marriage.
It is up to the man to make his wife happy and it is up to the wife to make her husband happy.
It takes two to tango.
my own happiness is my responsibity and not ultimately reliant on another.
I agree. If you're happy, that happiness radiates toward others around you. If you're miserable, you make others miserable as well. Happy, satisfied partners don't cheat. Unhappy, dissatisified partners however, cheat and lie - surely they don't think disrespecting their partner and relationship is a way to show love).
i think it's a pathetic excuse. relationships = together...so the keep your man/girl from straying is the guys and girls part. haha, secondbase, it does seem like it's from cosmo or seventeen :p
Heehee. This reminds me of an article I read in Cosmo while waiting in line, entitled, "How to tell if your man's gay!" The way to tell? Wait for it.....waaaaait for it.....in all it's unadulterated cosmo-ish wisdom: if he has gay porn. Bwahahahaha! ;D
Heehee. This reminds me of an article I read in Cosmo while waiting in line, entitled, "How to tell if your man's gay!" The way to tell? Wait for it.....waaaaait for it.....in all it's unadulterated cosmo-ish wisdom: if he has gay porn. Bwahahahaha! ;D
Then I must be a gay man and not a straight girl ...if you know what I mean :P :o
It is up to the man to make his wife happy and it is up to the wife to make her husband happy.
It takes two to tango.
my own happiness is my responsibity and not ultimately reliant on another.
I'm talking about within a marriage.
startaurus - i'm talking about any relationship - marriage, partnership, friendship. one's own happiness is the responsibility of the individual concerned.
It is up to the man to make his wife happy and it is up to the wife to make her husband happy.
It takes two to tango.
my own happiness is my responsibity and not ultimately reliant on another.
I'm talking about within a marriage.
i'm talking about any relationship - marriage, friendship, partnership. one's own happiness is the responsibility of the individual.
What can I tell you adagio?You believe that? I believe in what I said in the marriage and happiness post that some things you do owe in a marriage to make someone happy.
I cringed when I read the title of this thread, Camillus. (^_^)
It really bothers me when I see this kind of nonsense out there, perpetuating myths that should have been put down long ago. I was relieved to see no one, on the board, really bought into what this guy was selling, but I hate that this is even out there, appealing to the insecurities of many hetero/bisexual females and the egocentricity & phallocentrism of many males.
It is fun and nice to do things for your partner (as long as they are giving back), because it makes you feel good to see someone, you care so deeply for, happy. BUT to suggest that there are things you should do, in order to keep your partner's interest or integrity in check, is just insulting. Then, to go another step and insinuate that it is men's nature to cheat, and females had better do everything they can to "keep their man from straying" is oozing with sexist undertones. It is not a female's job to serve "her" man or keep him happy.
And it is completely asinine to suggest that there are any steps one partner should take to discourage the other from cheating.
It, like everything else (to me), comes down to honesty.
Monogamy is a choice. You do not have to enter into a monogamous relationship; they are definitely not for everyone. IF you tell someone you will be with only them and then go out and get off with someone else, then you have a lack of integrity. Period.
That is a character flaw, and has nothing to do with your partner. If you were unhappy in the relationship, you could have addressed it. If you want to be physically intimate with another, ask your partner about instituting an open relationship or tell them you can no longer be in a monogamous relationship with them.
You may be pleasantly surprised, or it might be terribly painful for both of you. Either way, your integrity stays intact and you don't have to suffer cognitive dissonance. To avoid discussing this with your partner, in hope that you may be able to satiate your desires and not get caught, is just dishonest and cowardly.
-----
On a personal note- i have never worried about a partner straying. I also have not been, and will not ever be, in a relationship with someone who worries about me straying. You have to have confidence in yourself, trust in your partner, and have complete and total, blatant (sometimes brutal) honesty.
If a partner has sexual or romantic interest in someone else, I don't think "What does s(he) have that I don't have?" or "Why am I not good enough or what am I not doing right?" I have been attracted to and had deep feelings for more than one person, at a time. This enables me to know that it is not about that.
Every being has something different to offer.
I also object to the author's idea that flirting or having a cup of coffee w/ someone other than your partner is, in its self, cheating or is a gateway to cheating... Another unsavory, perpetuated myth.
If your partner cannot have friends, that happen to belong to the same biological sex that they are attracted to, then you have problems.
Jealousy is not cute. It is neither endearing nor does it show me how much my partner cares. It is territorialism, and that is definitely not something I appreciate (or tolerate) in my relationships.
Given the topic, I thought it might be of interest, to some, that there is significant evidence to suggest that humans are not biologically inclined to be monogamous creatures.
Especially, in the case of hetero/bisexual females:
(1) Male humans have 3 types of sperm.
The vision of sperm, we have all been given, (those engaged in a frantic race for the finish line (~_^)) is a very small percentage of the overall sperm population in any given "load". This type of egg-seeking sperm makes up only ~1% or less.
The rest of the sperm population is comprised of blockers and killers. The blockers sole dedication is to blocking the cervical crypts, while the killers exist to attack and kill another man's sperm. If I remember correctly, sperm can only survive, in a vagina, for three days at the very most.
Men's psychology actually plays into their sperm production. If a man suspects that his partner may have slept with another man recently, he produces more of the blocker or killer sperm.
(2)The female sexual response cycle has no refractory period, meaning she can have sex, orgasm, and be ready to peak again and again, in seconds. Men have a refractory stage, in which they cannot get another erection, that varies (according to individual, age, excitement level, etc.) but has an average of 24 hrs.
The thought of my sperm fighting tooth and nail with another man's sperm is kind of... :-X
The thought of my sperm fighting tooth and nail with another man's sperm is kind of... :-X
*snicker*
I didn't mean to invoke nightmares... or turn stomachs.
I just couldn't help but comment on it from an objective, biological perspective....
apologies (^_^)
The female sexual response cycle has no refractory period, meaning she can have sex, orgasm, and be ready to peak again and again, in seconds.
Therefore, women are superior to men
Men have a refractory stage, in which they cannot get another erection, that varies (according to individual, age, excitement level, etc.) but has an average of 24 hrs.
When God kicked us out of the Garden and made childbearing painful for women, this is what he did to men.
24 hours?
huh?
Show off
Men have a refractory stage, in which they cannot get another erection, that varies (according to individual, age, excitement level, etc.) but has an average of 24 hrs.
When God kicked us out of the Garden and made childbearing painful for women, this is what he did to men.
Cephi - have you heard the joke about God giving cool things away out of his big bag of cool things to everyone. After all the animals have taken their turn, Adam and Eve are left, and God looks in His bag and says, "Well, I've only got two things left, the first is 'peeing standing up.' Adam jumps up and down and says, "Ooh, ooh, I want it!" And Eve says, "Sure, he seems excited, he can have it." So it goes. Then God looks in His bag and says, "So what do I have left? Multiple orgasms....." ;D
Sorry for the boy bashing Cephi and AdamCrisis ::)
Pages