Things to do BESIDES starve (or binge/purge)
Ok, so we have a lot of eating dosordered people on here, and I am a little concerned with how some of the threads just become talking points for triggers and cycles. I know I get in the cycle of starving, attempting recovery, b/ping, starving again, etc. Stopping that cycle at ‘recovery’ is the ideal here, so let’s talk about things to do besides starve- and things to do besides b/p. It would be really great if we could try and help one another out to recovery.
Things to do besides starve:
1. Actually have energy to go hang out with friends
2. Actually do the things you used to be interested in- for me this is knitting, sewing, designing, and art
3. EAT WITH PEOPLE, even if this means having to eat out a lot, it helps. I realized the other day that to other people, eating mustard with a spoon and salt from the shaker while drinking 4 diet cokes appears a TAD strange. I ordered food.
4. Also helpful: do not try on clothes in the stores.
5. Go grocery shopping with others (also helps for bulimics)
6. Don’t spend any more time than needed reading cookbooks, watching cooking shows, or generally food obsessing. (also helps for bulimics)
Things to do besides binge/purge
Figure out when you b/p the most (late at night? 4:00?) and actually schedual something in that time, even if ‘something’ is just taking a walk or petting your dog. If it's out doing something, bring a buddy.
1. Take a shower
2. Knit
3. Call a friend
4. GET OUT of the kitchen, or your apartment, or anywhere triggering for you
5. Read an engrossing book
6. Make salt dough ‘cookies’ with cookie cutters, salt dough (1/2 c salt, 1 c flour, ½ c water) and add a hole with a straw to make them into ornaments for Christmas. This is helpful for when you cannot remove yourself from the kitchen and want something to work your hands with.
7. Make play dough and knead it around
8. Turn on an engrossing program- I prefer trashy, true crime forensic evidence shows. Too engaging to leave to throw up.
9. Keep a tab on your binging expenses, and figure out something else you’ll buy with all that money.
10. Do your makeup, especially eye makeup, that would be ruined otherwise
11. Talk to others. Keep yourself sanity checked.
12. Love yourself!!
What else can you think of?
In studying psychology, it is the current thinking that eating disorders are caused by a need have control. That sounds bad and judgmental, but I don't mean it that way. I have suffered from these things too and I have gone on to be an overeater, then back to being a purger and starver. I can tell you that when I go "there" it is because everything in my life feels out of my control. It is this feeling of being bombarded and like nothing is going right and never will. It is a feeling of chaos and disorganization. Food can be very easy to control. The buying, reading about, portioning out, playing head games about what you will allow yourself to eat it brings a sense of organization. Planning when and where you can/will purge feels like you organized, in control, you have it figured out. The job can suck, your relationships can suck, your life can totally suck, but the food is under control...your control.
THe problem is that once started it becomes addicting. If you are like me, and I have been fat or thought I was, just not built to be the ideal thin attractive woman, and you lose weight and people start to tell you how good you look...well you feel you are accomplishing something and you control your food even more. It becomes addicting in and of itself.
All this doesn't mean you are a bad person. I don't know how many years I spent thinking I was horrid and a waste of space on the planet. Not eating is certainly a way to endanger your life so that you aren't on the planet anymore. I know that when the eating problems got better I got to be more self-destructive in other ways. It took a lot of years to get better, but it did get better.
I am 47. I still read cookbooks and obsess over cooking and food preparation. THe difference is that my focus is not on calories, but on nutrients and how eating properly and in appropriate amounts makes me feel better so that I can accomplish more in other areas of my life. I count my yellow veggie servings for the week, and my dark leafies for week and I give some thought to appropriate amounts of protein and make sure I am drinking my fortified soymilk. Food still preoccupies me, I'll admit it, but it is not in pursuit of self-destruction, but in pursuit of happiness.
i like all the suggestions so far, and i want to add another... HERE. this site has helped me a lot by giving me recipes for everything, foods i feel safe eating. i was never able to eat cookies or scones or muffins, but the ones on here are so healthy and i can pick ingredients that are less calories so i don't beat myself up about eating a huge muffin that's only 120 calories or whatever
I agree! For me, learning to love cooking & finding delicious, healthful recipes was a humongous help in becoming comfortable around food again--even enjoying it! :) Unfortunately, I didn't know about VegWeb at the time I was in the process of "recovering" (I use quotes because as I said before, I don't think the thoughts will ever go away completely--but we can all get to a point where we feel in control of those thoughts and impulses & can choose what to do about them!)... Anyway--but since I've become an active member here & made so many recipes from the site, I feel even better about food & I look at it as a source of health & nourishment & fun, instead of as "the enemy." Honestly--just having a community of people like yourselves to talk about this stuff with, or share recipes & talk about other veg issues, is so encouraging & helpful! :D
yes! that's exactly what I'm dealing with right now! to connect with people who aren't afraid of food, who eat healthily, who find enjoyment in making and baking things, and who share a lot of my values, has been MORE than helpful. I don't know what I'd do without vegweb - honestly.
I've been afraid of food. I really restricted. but, with the help of therapy, lots of thinking and analysis, and vegweb - I'm recovering. I can honestly say that I'm recovering. it has a lot to do with this wonderful community.
so thank you all - thank you vegweb!
In studying psychology, it is the current thinking that eating disorders are caused by a need have control. That sounds bad and judgmental, but I don't mean it that way. I have suffered from these things too and I have gone on to be an overeater, then back to being a purger and starver. I can tell you that when I go "there" it is because everything in my life feels out of my control. It is this feeling of being bombarded and like nothing is going right and never will. It is a feeling of chaos and disorganization. Food can be very easy to control. The buying, reading about, portioning out, playing head games about what you will allow yourself to eat it brings a sense of organization. Planning when and where you can/will purge feels like you organized, in control, you have it figured out. The job can suck, your relationships can suck, your life can totally suck, but the food is under control...your control.
THe problem is that once started it becomes addicting. If you are like me, and I have been fat or thought I was, just not built to be the ideal thin attractive woman, and you lose weight and people start to tell you how good you look...well you feel you are accomplishing something and you control your food even more. It becomes addicting in and of itself.
All this doesn't mean you are a bad person. I don't know how many years I spent thinking I was horrid and a waste of space on the planet. Not eating is certainly a way to endanger your life so that you aren't on the planet anymore. I know that when the eating problems got better I got to be more self-destructive in other ways. It took a lot of years to get better, but it did get better.
I am 47. I still read cookbooks and obsess over cooking and food preparation. THe difference is that my focus is not on calories, but on nutrients and how eating properly and in appropriate amounts makes me feel better so that I can accomplish more in other areas of my life. I count my yellow veggie servings for the week, and my dark leafies for week and I give some thought to appropriate amounts of protein and make sure I am drinking my fortified soymilk. Food still preoccupies me, I'll admit it, but it is not in pursuit of self-destruction, but in pursuit of happiness.
That is very very interesting. I would've never of thought of that. Thanks LadyDragonfly
control is a BIG part of it (a HUGE part of it), but we're all individuals - we each have our own specific experiences and reasons. and we each have our own roads to recovery. no one is the same.
This is a good thread....I will try to do some more yoga.
Something that helps for me is to do something to help you appreciate your body...like, I dyed my hair and cut it last Saturday...I love it, and it's a strike against Ed, who says that I have to hate everything about myself.
Also, finding something I enjoy about nature helps me...I love fall, and since fall is coming up, I like to go outside and take walks to enjoy the crisp air.
pick up an instrument.
play the hell out of it.
my saxaphone is the greatest.
i try to sorround myself with people that make me happy, my positive energy sources!!~
I know parting sounds....tres stereotyical college kid reponse but..it keps me from b/p sometimes! by bing around the peope i care for and just full ofpositivity and "excited-ness" elps me get my mind off of food and you know...getting too into my head sometimes.
i've been dabbling with buddhism and whenever i want to b/p chant....and it's been woing well, my dayis better brighter and chanting has broght much love and..ope in my life.
i still do b/p though and restrict etc...but sometimes these things help me bit...
I missed this thread...I think its a good concept. I'd like to add. Check out this wonderful list from the something fishy website. http://www.something-fishy.org/reach/waystocope.php
One thing I learned in treatment was to do something to address each of the five senses. Because a lot of the time when we are tempted to engage in a behavior we are really lacking something in one of these areas. The five sense focus is also beneficial in "grounding" or deescalating from sever emotions such as anxiety, anger, sadness, etc.
I know I personally have a very hard time electing to do a constructive behavior when I'm in the moment, tempted by the situation. Therefor I must chose to avoid tempting situations. I try not to allow myself to get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely,Tiered or Bored (HALTB)
I think some time over the next two weeks I am going to start a recovery notebook. In it I will list activities that work for me. I'll try to identify some triggers. Ill make some Behavioral Chain Analysis (thats where you take a given behavior and dissect it so you can figure out specifally what lead to that behavior.) that way you know how to either break the chain earlier on, so it doesn't erupt into a behavior, or you can figure out how to initiate effective behaviors. ill also include motivation for myself int there (including lists of reasons I want to recover, positive affirmations, inspiring scriptures and quotes, etc.)
Other helpful things we all might try is:
>Going to a support group (check around on-line for" Anorexics, bulimics anonymous," "overeater's anonymous,"(NOT just for overeater's...covers all types of eating disorders) " celebrate recovery," You can also check out www.meetup.com for either ED support groups Or maybe even a vegan meet up so you can practice eating a in a "normal" situation with like-minded people. If you cannot find a support group in your area- consider starting one. I know its scary but you may be able to hold it at a local library or at a religious building (church, synagogue, etc...) even meeting just once a month could help.
>make art. Even if its ugly. even if its messy. maybe even more so then!
>write! in a journal. poetry, letters to a friend/loved one (living or not), letters to yourself. letters to your eating disorder. etc.
>get moving! I found making a connection with my body was extremely beneficial. I like Yoga (as so many on here mentioned) stretching, rock climbing, horse back riding, etc...
>equine therapy. Just being with horses helped me a lot. If you have a local horse rescue volunteer to go there once a month or once a week or whatever and groom eh horses. they love it an you will too! Take a nature walk...but take it slow ;) we're not trying to burn calories.
Hope this helps...I know just making the list right now has helped me...haha.
people are ridiculous. starving yourself on purpose when theres so much food in this country... while people in africa and whatnot are starving to death ... and NOT by choice.
i wanna smack the shit outta anorexic morons
you wanna what?! >:(
Maybe someone should SMACK some sense into your head!
It's an illness Moron! (just to use your own word)....maybe you should try this.....read, learn, then have some compassion.
people are ridiculous. starving yourself on purpose when theres so much food in this country... while people in africa and whatnot are starving to death ... and NOT by choice.
i wanna smack the shit outta anorexic morons
you wanna what?! >:(
Maybe someone should SMACK some sense into your head!
It's an illness Moron! (just to use your own word)....maybe you should try this.....read, learn, then have some compassion.
S/he is obviously a troll... ::) Either that or extremely rude & insensitive. Either way, it seems s/he is just trying to start a fight... Lame.
S/he is obviously a troll... ::) Either that or extremely rude & insensitive. Either way, it seems s/he is just trying to start a fight... Lame.
You're right JessaCita,
I guess it's best NOT to feed the troll....I just can't stand anyone picking on others going through something they have little control over. Be it a person with an E/D, or a homeless dog on the street. It's one thing to have an opinion, another to beat up on one who is feeling down for the moment or going through a personal problem.
Note to self: "must remember...do NOT feed the troll".... ;)
Wow...that sucks. So, I had like this really $h!+y day (as far a s "recovery" goes) and was so excited to see more encouraging suggestions on this page...only to find this.....
Thanks to those of you who stuck up for us "morons" :'(
I cant stand ignorance like that. And as a matter of interest.I thought Id like to inform this person (just in case they re still lurking) that anorexia and bulimia have been found in third world countries among all socioeconomic groups. there was an excellent study done in Ghana west Africa about this. I shall see if I can find it and post it here... Also, what country do you think is most effected by eating disorders percapita? Japan. And in which country do you figure has the fastest growing rate of eating disorders? Why that would be BRAZIL. Not what I would call "privileged" So before you make those generalizations and sweeping comment's--- Do your G** D*** research!!!!
Well this REALLY helpped my state of mind! :-[
So, I don't have a ED, but I do have a sensitive stomach. Eating upsets it, so I try to find things to do besides eat - which would be right up the not binging alley. Some of these things have already been mentioned.
1. Playing/learning a musical instrument (guitar, for me)
2. Art/creativity of any kind (I'm cross-stiching a Neil Young image for a CD case cover)
3. Watch a movie (The emotional ones are an appetite suppressant for me - Latter Days, Blood Diamond, Mysterious Skin, The Constant Gardener, Just A Question of Love)
4. Take a walk & bring a camera
5. Organize/Clean (For me this means organizing my bills and dusting)
6. Music/audiobook (I recently got Yahoo music and am discovering lots of great music)
people are ridiculous. starving yourself on purpose when theres so much food in this country... while people in africa and whatnot are starving to death ... and NOT by choice.
i wanna smack the shit outta anorexic morons
you wanna what?! >:(
Maybe someone should SMACK some sense into your head!
It's an illness Moron! (just to use your own word)....maybe you should try this.....read, learn, then have some compassion.
I just checked this thread - I'm so surprised! What the f***!!?! yeah. this person clearly doesn't understand.
people are ridiculous. starving yourself on purpose when theres so much food in this country... while people in africa and whatnot are starving to death ... and NOT by choice.
i wanna smack the shit outta anorexic morons
you wanna what?! >:(
Maybe someone should SMACK some sense into your head!
It's an illness Moron! (just to use your own word)....maybe you should try this.....read, learn, then have some compassion.
I just checked this thread - I'm so surprised! What the f***!!?! yeah. this person clearly doesn't understand.
ergh not kind or compassionat...cliche but go nothing to say..keep it to yourself...
i'ma moron, yep.... love this soooo much ::)
ignorance is atrocious...you cant watch one drPhil episode and accuse it's all easy breezy.
ergh forgeit..done with cruel ppl....
being fall time,
it would be a great thing to get outside, rake some leaves and jump in the piles... esp with dogs and kids...or kids at heart! ;D
note: do not place leaf piles on top of dog poop piles. :-X
2. Art/creativity of any kind (I'm cross-stiching a Neil Young image for a CD case cover)
Sweet. I love Neil Young!
:D I LOVVVVE the FALL*!*!*~ :D
In studying psychology, it is the current thinking that eating disorders are caused by a need have control. That sounds bad and judgmental, but I don't mean it that way. I have suffered from these things too and I have gone on to be an overeater, then back to being a purger and starver. I can tell you that when I go "there" it is because everything in my life feels out of my control. It is this feeling of being bombarded and like nothing is going right and never will. It is a feeling of chaos and disorganization. Food can be very easy to control. The buying, reading about, portioning out, playing head games about what you will allow yourself to eat it brings a sense of organization. Planning when and where you can/will purge feels like you organized, in control, you have it figured out. The job can suck, your relationships can suck, your life can totally suck, but the food is under control...your control.
THe problem is that once started it becomes addicting. If you are like me, and I have been fat or thought I was, just not built to be the ideal thin attractive woman, and you lose weight and people start to tell you how good you look...well you feel you are accomplishing something and you control your food even more. It becomes addicting in and of itself.
All this doesn't mean you are a bad person. I don't know how many years I spent thinking I was horrid and a waste of space on the planet. Not eating is certainly a way to endanger your life so that you aren't on the planet anymore. I know that when the eating problems got better I got to be more self-destructive in other ways. It took a lot of years to get better, but it did get better.
I am 47. I still read cookbooks and obsess over cooking and food preparation. THe difference is that my focus is not on calories, but on nutrients and how eating properly and in appropriate amounts makes me feel better so that I can accomplish more in other areas of my life. I count my yellow veggie servings for the week, and my dark leafies for week and I give some thought to appropriate amounts of protein and make sure I am drinking my fortified soymilk. Food still preoccupies me, I'll admit it, but it is not in pursuit of self-destruction, but in pursuit of happiness.
This is so true for me. On a more serious note, one of the ways I got over my ED (sometimes it's still a struggle, but mostly now, I never even think about it), was making some major life changes. Instead of controlling the tiny amount of food I ate, I took control over my life, and became the person I wanted to be. That sounds so corny and simplified. It isn't easy. It's really hard, but I am so much happier and healthier now. Sometimes I do slip back, but it's important to realize, especially in the instance when it's primarily about needing to be in control more than anything, what's triggering you to restrict.
Most recently, it was a second job that was just way too stressful. I wanted to do it perfectly, and the people I worked with just didn't click. I was constantly berated for making errors which is every perfectionists worst nightmare. As an immediate result, I dropped ten pounds in a little over a week.
My boyfriend was so supportive and great. He was really worried that I wasn't eating much, but at the same time would say, "You should do what you think is best. If this is what you really want to do, I'll support you. I think you would be happier if you left the second job. Life's too short to beat yourself up over this."
Totally kick ass. Also, I'm paraphrasing, he was even more diplomatic when he was actually saying it. My point is that it's really important to care for yourself. Not be selfish, but to basically save your own life so that you can be a better person and make a positive impact on the world around you. Surround yourself with positive people, people who help you be the person you want to be. Make scary life changes if they're GOOD life changes. It's really easy to fall into a rut, and it's very hard to pull yourself out. My ED was a symptom of a larger problem. Once I solved the larger problem, the ED went away.
wow i wish my BF was supportive like that. i'm still having big binge eating issues (i dont purge, so it all just stays on me and i'm getting way too big--over my "ideal for my height" weight)
my doctor tells me "when you're bingeing, wouldnt your mom or dad or boyfriend help u?" and all i can say is "i used to be 88 pounds. they're not gonna help me stop eating. they dont care if i'm overweight as long as i'm eating"
but if i mention looking at a different job or going back to school, my boyfriend's idea of support is nagging me about it until we get into a fight about how i always get too scared and why can't i "just do it already" :-\
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