leading by example?
Hi all!
I notice that quite a few of you mention that family members (significant others and children, mainly) and friends are becoming open to vegan alternatives or adopting a more conscious stance toward what they eat, based on your happy, healthy examples.
Veronica66's excellent question about her co-worker's turkey hunting has led me to think about it (since my dad is a hunter) ... have any of you had any luck with changing your parents' pro-meat opinions? I have been fortunate in that my mom and brother took my advice seriously and moved away from the Atkins fad diet (eventually), and my mom and I swap healthful cooking tips, but I wonder if I'll ever be fully considered a credible adult by the people who changed my diapers.
Anyone? :)
Wow, you & your mom swap healthful cooking tips? I cannot even imagine that!! My mom & sister are not at all interested in what I cook, even though I am healthier than both of them. When we do attend food events, my husband & I are the only ones to ever eat what I bring. No kidding. My stuff might be contaminated with the evil soybean. :o
I've been veg for a long time & my mother still thinks it's weird. Sometime about 8 years into it she sighed & said, "I guess this veg thing isn't just a fad." It was a more telling statement than she ever realized. She's mellowed some, but food is not an easy topic for us. I once asked her what the difference was between eating a cow or eating a dog. She laughed & told me I was being ridiculous. ::)
My whole family was POd that we didn't attend a big birthday bash that had a pig roast. I have to say that BBQs are not my favorite, but I do not attend events where the animal is displayed & carved up. Retch.
My father has always been a meat and potatoes kind of guy (not a hunter), but he has always loved animals--I was raised in a home with lots of animals around me all the time. He knows injustices exist for animals but for some reason would rather turn his cheek and pertend it doesn't happen (I think it is painful for him to think about, but he doesn't want to change his eating habits). That being said, he told my aunt (who told me), that my food is "pretty good" and that he is very proud of me for making a change in my life that can't be easy. He has no problem eating most of the food I bring over there. My mother is even considering a vegetarian Thankgiving this year, but I don't know that everyone in the family will go for it. This wasn't my idea at all it was totally hers. She brought it up out of the blue. I'm not pushy because I think pushiness does more harm than good most of the time. But if she wants to do a veg Thanksgiving I'm not going to stand in her way (and I'll help, of course).
I'm a nutrition major in school right now, and we just did 24-hour dietary recalls for each other. Somehow more people than just my partner found out about how I eat; when I walked into class, they mentioned how healthy I ate. One girl said "well, I'm never going to be vegetarian to be honest with you. But can you give me some recipes so I can eat more vegetarian meals?" I think that's progress, because honestly, most people in the world will never be vegetarian, but if they cook more meatless meals than they do right now, things will start to get better in lots of ways.
Elizabeth
I don't see my family too much..they live too far away...but my sis says I inspired her to eat more fruits and drink more water (who knows how long that lasted). When people hear I am a vegetarian (I don't even go there with the word vegan) they are usually incredulous...like how am I still alive without meat and...what could I possibly eat :o
but my family says that I look so healthy and happy so they at least respect it.
I also think it may influence people subtlely. My friend was giving her very young son tons of dairy products and has given him less. A coworker at work now buys newmans cookies instead of chips ahoy. He loved soy icecream. I think the way you lead your life through food and other things influences people even if it gets them thinking just a bit more than they usually do. I NEVER preach (that doesn't work). It really depends on how open family members are. My sis understands the lifestyle but doesn't necessarily follow it...my dad couldn't "live" without all his meat (and his diabetes, overweightness, lethargy, etc).
My boyfriend though is a vegan as well...it was a shift we made together. But I am not close to my family AT ALL....I have to admit I do preach to my sis giving her young son diet soda for his main drink :-[
I don't see my parents, but I was a veggie in my teens and they put up with it and didn't say much. Most of the flack I got was from neighbors at my old house who called the police on me for not feeding my children animal products! My kids are all tall and healthy, but lean. If others could even imagine the amounts they eat at home, they would wonder why they were not obese.
The kids have nice teeth, although they don't drink milk. They eat copious amounts of homemade whole wheat and other whole grain baked products, including a lot of vegan quick breads with fruit, veggies and nuts in them. I have to bake homemade whole wheat bread about 3 times a week (we are talking about 10 cans of bread in those big tomato juice cans) and we always seem to be out of bread. They eat plenty of tofu and our current rave is over Dixie Diner Meat NOT! stuff which is wonderful. I make soymilk and fortify it daily and with all of us we go through nearly 1 gallon a day. It is common for me to purchase 20 lbs of fruits and veggies a week for this crew and again, we always seem to be running low. I am working more and more beans into their diets too. I don't think my kids are short of anything!
My oldest girl is 17, nearly 18. She is 5'10" and gorgeous. She is proud of her tall slenderness and has determined that her diet is responsible for this on both counts. Her friends envy her and she likes it that way. She tells them that candy and soda makes you fat and whole fruits and whole grains do not. She is right.
My youngest is 10-1/2 and just shy of 5' tall. She isn't suffering either. She is going to be very tall as she in a size 9 ladies' shoe already.
The proof is in the pudding! (albeit soy tofu pudding...)
i had a very strong influence on my mother until she got back with my father. she hardly ever had any meat in the house and would ask for cooking tips and recipes from me all the time. it saddens me that she's gone back to making very unhealthy, fatty dishes loaded with red meat and other processed junk foods.whenever i can, i bring over my leftovers in hopes that she eats them instead of something my dad wanted to eat the night before. my sisters come over to my house to eat dinner a few times a week and are very open to anything i cook since i opened their eyes to the wonders of alternative foods.
LadyDragonfly, Are you serious? They called the police?? I'd be interested to hear what the police said...
1. I give out the book, Fast Food Nation as a gift, Xmas, BDay, housewarming etc. I think convenience is a BIG reason more people do not have a healthy diet. Whether it just helps them stop eating fast food, or stop eating meat or stop purchasing certain products... that particular book always seems to hit people who had no previous intentions of changes their ways. I just give it to them, with no veg-preach health-preach, just with a, "Wow what an interesting book" approach. They always come to me afterward with tons of questions! Instead them feeling I am lecturing them. It's a hook book. They even have in the audio-book for those who are non-readers. ;) *ahem* my brother in law
After my mom read it she gave a copy to her parents whose are ex-cattle ranchers... and were (SDA-style) vegan while they owned the ranch! Their independent ranch went under in the late sixties due to the large meatpacking/processing companies. I think it helped my grandfather even see that his business going under wasn't about his failure as a businessman but much more due to the evil and ruthless meat packing companies than he had previously thought.
2. I never, never, never (I cannot stress this enough) try a *new* recipe out on non-vegs or even a perfected "too veggie" recipe, you know? But I'm sure that's a given!
3. My fav kids show is Lazy Town, they promote healthy eating and lifestyle and I have never once heard them mention MILK as a part of a healthy diet. Just fruit and veggies! We don't have TV but I buy all the DVDs for my son to watch.
I haven't really had an influence on anyone in my family or friends/coworkers, although they are curious. My friends have always been respectful and at dinner parties they provide a vegetarian option for me, or a corner on the grill where I can throw down my veggie burger.
The person I've probably influenced the most is my spouse. Who doesn't cook and eats 100% vegetarian when home. He loves tempeh, my veggie chili and other veg*n dishes. He recently took a job where he travels out of town a lot and I'm a bit disappointed in his choices after a long day of work. Last night I called and he was having an Arby's roast beef sandwich.........sigh.
You guys are wonderful. It's encouraging to hear that so many of you have created ripples even with your parents, despite the hurdles associated with being their kid (I don't think mine will ever see me as a real grown up, hehe.)
jenniferhughes, GREAT suggestions. I also encourage people I know to read Food Politics by Marion Nestle-- it's a challenging read but exciting anyway, and talks about food production issues and nutritional supplement approval processes, etc.-- basically how the USDA/FDA approval systems can be market-driven by lobbyists, etc. When everyone has a copy of FFN, consider this as the next volume!
so sad, no...
my family yells at me about it, they yell at me until i leave the room crying--jerks; i guess they feel degrading and emotionally torturing me will eventually lead me to eating hormone injected and brutally slaughtered animals--no
but, i have had a co-worker turn vegatarian, and opened up other co-workers to not judging or stereotyping vegans anymore...
Hang in there, Carmen-- I've been through some of that with my dad (again, he literally believes God put him on Earth to shoot and eat animals... he has told me that "Jesus told us that meat was suitable food for us... do you think you can know better than Jesus?") and it gets better over time. Now he's virtually vegetarian for most meals (despite his complete lack of humane/enviro reasons for it) because it's healthier for him. Evidently his version of Jesus didn't endorse his death by cholesterol. ::)
people-often those with whom we are close-tend to be quite abrasive when confronted with change....few people seem to like change in their lives, thinking that those who have made changes are criticising them for not following suit.
Let them be and eventually they will let you be...
Michael.
Well said, Michael.
Moral choices can look like moral judgments to those who aren't in with the in-crowd ... and if it causes pain, that means they love you enough to be stung by feeling that you don't find their conduct adequate. Be as loving as you can and do your best by yourself, and don't feel guilty for upholding your own standards.