Tasty Burgers - with Beer!

First, and this is crucial ;) spin The Dopamines self-titled album on your record player and turn the speakers up until you can feel it.
1. In a food processor, blend beans and lentils together. Set aside. In a pan, sauté mushrooms until browned.
2. In a large bowl, combine shroomers with shredded carrots and onion. Dump in bean mixture, oyster sauce, and a splash of beer. Stir until well combined. It should be runnier than traditional meat burgers.
3. In a VERY DRY blender, blitz gluten, oats, rosemary, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, and pepper. Sprinkle the gluten mixture over the bean mixture and stir until it totally disappears. Continue sprinkling and mixing until all the gluten is used up. You should be left with a doughy mush that you can pick up without having big pieces stick to you.
4. Form into patties, and layer them onto a plate with plastic wrap separating each layer. Refrigerate for at least an hour.
5. Put a baking sheet or an oven safe skillet in a cold oven, then preheat at 350 degrees F. When oven is hot, pull the rack the pan is on out for easier reach, and pour a bit of oil into the pan. VERY CAREFULLY place the burgers into the pan, making sure you drop them as far away from you as possible. Push the rack back in and bake for about 5 to 10 minutes, or until the first side is browned, then carefully flip the burgers over. Eat on buns with as many pickles you can shove on as possible! (or whatever you happen to like on burgs)
Source of recipe: Was unhappy with the existing recipes here, so mashed my own together.