Some of you may have noticed me being more "active" than my usual rate of posts, but not sharing much about what is currently happening in my life......
Those who are my Facebook friends know the majority of it.
But right now, I am kind of scared and feel like my back is against the wall.
In February, I fell. I injured my left knee, and it is getting progressively worse. I don't have insurance, and am living off of my dwindling savings. What health care I am getting (physical therapy, acupuncture, general medical services), is being SIGNIFICANTLY discounted for me, yet I'm spending $100+/wk on it. I've had an MRI, and the report says it doesn't show anything significant. I've been applying for programs to get into see a specialist, but they keep rejecting me because of the report. All who've seen/examined me are in agreement, that I have significantly injured my ACL, I need to see an orthopedist. I have been using crutches, popping pills, sleeping on the couch for nearly two months, and now have a nice array of knee braces of varying support levels. Due to springtime weather, slick tile floors, and my need to keep my leg straight/elevated in order to alleviate the pain; I am now taking meds to prevent anxiety attacks, in order for me to function enough to go outside without freaking out.
Two weeks ago, I went to the ER and was admitted for stroke-like symptoms. After CT scans and MRIs of my brain, they concluded the incident was a migraine. I believe this was brought about by stress/anxiety (hence the additional meds).
In spite of all this, up until Sunday evening, I was showing some stasis/improvement of my injury. My leg was getting stronger. Last weekend I was getting around OK w/o having to depend on crutches all the time, forgetting to take my pain meds, not needing constant ice, etc.....Then that evening, while doing my exercises, my leg "dropped", when I went to straighten it, something "popped". Since then, I haven't been able to put any weight whatsoever on my unbraced left leg; I will simply fall, it is no longer structurally "sound". Monday, I was able to pop something back into place. Today, I was told that the popping was my fibula dislocating....And to top it all off....two months of regular vicoden, anti-inflammatory usage, my body has declared mutiny-I woke up this morning from the first GREAT sleep I've had in a long time, to having bloody stools.
Now everyone is scared to do anything, I have an appt to see my GP's assistant on Monday to find out if the blood is from hemorrhoids or something more significant.

I am struggling on so many levels right now. G, my ex (?) b/f, is doing his best to take care of me, but his job is as a caretaker for those with special needs.. and this week, I have become more reliant/needy of him than ever before....he is burning out, he loves me and wants me to get better, but is getting disheartened and frustrated with my lack of medical care and ability to get better....I mean I haven't even been able to comfortably lay with him since this started. I'm getting financially strapped, I am unsure of how I am going to afford next months rent, yet I am physically unable to move, nor do I really have anywhere to go.
I really feel like I am backed against a wall.....
All your positive thoughts are appreciated, thank you.