I just caught up on all this...
WOW HELI!!!!!!!!!!!  ;)b
That sounds AMAZING! It is such an exciting new world to be discovering, I love that you're sharing it so we can live vicariously and cheer you on :)

Just wanna report that I came home wearing a tie last night.  ^-^

nice - congrats on it being last night and not this morning...

I'd love to come home wearing someone else's tie...  I love when ladies wear ties... I told BP to wear one the other day with a cool shirt of her's... it looked very good on her.

Aww, mdv, that's so exciting! :D Very swoony. Good for you. ;)b

Actually, however fun my last date may have been, I'm stepping back and taking a good look at the situation, and having some second (third, fourth, fifth) thoughts. :hrmm: More info later, if anyone's curious. :smirk:

Hint: think of the title of this thread... the shunning part... I have yet to be sure if K is adequate. ::)

Hehe, I meant I may yet have to 'shun' K for being 'inadequate'. These are some of my incessant troubled thoughts...

I am very happy to have had new feelings awakened in me. I love knowing what it is to feel attractive. I am grateful to K for helping me learn these things; although right now I'm working on separating these feelings from proximity to K, and seeing them as something innate in myself. I now think that I will one day enjoy physical intimacy with someone... honestly, I never believed it. I have a strange prejudice against sex (hence, still being a virgin at age 27). I think it's kinda gross. ::) :-[ But all hope is not lost that I'll get past this, when the right situation comes along.

I don't know if I like K as a person enough to want to get closer to him. Yes, it could be fun, but I don't know what to expect; not just with regards to intimacy, but the way it must change a relationship. Perhaps I'm idealistic - I want to be with someone I love, at least for my first time. And I don't love K. I've thought about this a lot, believe me. And I'm just not comfortable sleeping with someone I barely know, don't love, and may not be able to trust. Considering my history, or lack of it, I doubt I could be comfortable with a casual-sex kind of relationship... which is what K may want. :-\

I could be wrong! K might want us to be real boyfriend & girlfriend. On our first date he said he was interested in that, but who knows what those terms mean to him? Again that darned language barrier makes it difficult to communicate to each other what we want or expect. But so far, I haven't been terribly impressed... by his personality, I guess. *sigh* I think I want someone who likes to show he cares about me, in small ways as well as big ones. I would like someone a bit more... romantic and whimsical, perhaps. ??? There are things I definitely like about K. He has a sense of humour, and a nice smile. He's not arrogant or cocky or lewd like a lot of guys. He has shown interest in my interests, even though we're so different.

I don't know the way men think. I know that some of the guys at work know K is looking for a girl... "For what kind of relationship," I wish I could ask them, but I don't know if I can. I'm sort of getting over the secrecy thing - I care less now if they know K and I have dated. At first I thought, "Nobody must know! I couldn't stand the teasing!" Then came the thought, "If I could feel proud about K and I, I wouldn't care so much about being teased." Now I'm thinking, "I'm growing a little more confident in myself, and it doesn't matter if people know; I'm strong enough to deal with any reactions."

Today was the first day seeing K after three days of not. I'd been feeling weird and troubled all weekend, once the buzz from Thursday's date began to dull down. I had a good chat with a friend last night, and she helped me sort some things out. I went to work today wondering if I need to just nip this thing in the bud. I don't wish to give K false expectations i.e. lead him on, when I'm having second thoughts. But I feel bad about disappointing him, and I don't know how to explain it. I don't know how he'll react. So I spent the day pretty much hiding (as often as possible), not looking/smiling at him much, and hardly speaking. I don't know how much he noticed. He said maybe we could get together after work, but it didn't happen. Which is good, because I realise now that I'm just not ready to talk about it. :-\

So here I am, asking for your wisdom, dear girls of VW. :-*

join the club... and don't expect to figure it out any time soon.  although, you could probably get rich if you did & then wrote a book about it.

i think that if you're feeling like you're over K, you could let him know that now and since it's so early on his feelings probably won't be hurt too bad.  he definitely doesnt sound like the person you want to get really intimate with, and i agree - you should wait until you find someone really special to you, especially for your first time.  at least wait a couple years til you get all super slutty like lubi...  ;)

i think this has been such a great learning experience for you though - it's like the kickoff to a whole new unexpected chapter of your life!  you can learn alot of things from your relationships (even one as short as 3 dates) and you take that stuff with you on to your next one... and im sure there will be a next one.  for now you get to experience what it's like to end things with someone.  so, if he asks you out again & you don't want to go, just thank him and let him know that you don't feel like you are really right for eachother & you don't want to continue dating him & give him the wrong impression.  thank him for the nice dates you had together and for the fun birthday experience.

heli on the prowl!!  go heli!!

btw- im so glad that im nocturnal and get to be the first one to read/give advice on this!  although, maybe i shouldnt be giving you advice cus i think i may be morphing into how you used to be...