1 tin tomatoes
2 fresh tomatoes (skinned and chopped-skins burst and peel when immersed in boiled water)
1-1 1/2 pounds burger-style crumbles (I use frozen ready to use stuff)
1 big can borlotti beans (or soak your own bean-choice and pre-boil them)
2 medium cooking onions (diced)
4-6 dried hot red chilies
3-4 cloves garlic
splash of red wine (2 tablespoons) optional but recommended
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
1 dessert spoon fresh ground cumin seeds
1 teaspoon brown sauce (Daddies or OK are best)
1/2 teaspoon of mesquite sauce (its very strong so be careful)
1/2 teaspoon mustard (I use English)
3 tablespoons olive oil
7-8 mushrooms (chopped)
green or red bell pepper (diced, and amount to your choice)
3 teaspoons brown cane sugar
salt/black pepper to taste
2 teaspoons tomato puree
A note from the Buzzard of Morfe:This is my (til now!) most secret recipe for vegetarian chilli-con-carne, I've been perfecting the meat chilli for 16 years, I've since gone vegetarian, and this veggie one has taken 10 to perfect! I haven teven told my closest friends this one. Of course I'll have to kill you if you don't eat the evidence, oh ok if its for a good cause... This is quite a gourmet dish, and not the cheapest unless you have most of the stuff lying around already. Serano or jalapeno are the best) but hard to find, but an asian supermarket is a great place for big bags of dried red chillis real cheap. You can buy cumin ready-ground but pulverise the seeds yerself for the best! Ingredients (use vegan versions): to serve 3-4 with rice
First chop and de-seed the dried chillies, then toast them in a very hot dry frying pan until they begin to change colour (BE CAREFUL not to let them burn, or go blackened, this makes the whole thing go bitter. Okay, that's the stressful part over! Soak the toasted chillies in a cup of boiled water, put a saucer on top to let them soak under water. Put to the side.
Heat oil in large pan. Add onions, fry until soft on low to medium heat, keep low for extra ten minutes until beginning to caramelise. Stir frequently.
Add fresh toms, cumin, garlic and mushrooms; fry for 5 mins. Add chillies and soaking water.
Add everything except can of borlotti beans and soya mince.
Cook on low-medium for 30-35 mins, stirring occasionally.
Add soya, with equal water to hydrate (about half pint) and beans cook for further 10 mins.
Serve with rice, salad, tortilla chips and a blob of soya cream on top.
Drink remaining vegan red wine. Make love under the stars whilst farting cheerfully.