How do you date when you are a vegan?

[KissMeKate]

i have had a few people that i could tell were totally into me turn completely the other way after i told them i was vegan... but really, those people aren't worth anything, anyway.

That's so true! I'm trying to pound it into my head and my heart, but I honestly don't know if I want to be the exception anymore.

Aw, what do you mean, be the exception?  Like, you would consider abandoning being vegan because it's something that makes you different from most people out there?  Don't do that.  

Yeah, I guess it's true that if you weren't vegan, you would stand a better chance with the handful of close-minded omni's who can't muster the confidence to respect another person's eating habits and beliefs.  That's not an advantage!  It's a hindrance!

[jeanacorina]

Well, I haven't tried dating since being vegetarian, but my BF is omni and it's not so bad. You just have to have a lot of mutual respect and communication.

 

Aside from that, if someone isn't interested in you just because you're vegan, they're not someone who would be good for you in the long run, even if you weren't vegan.

People like that are unwilling to accept others whose habits and beliefs differ from their own. They're close-minded and downright unpleasant to spend a substantial amount of time with.

With somebody like that, if it wasn't veganism, it would be your religion, or your views on raising kids, or that you're a cat person and they're a dog person, or that your hair is too short, or you get your nose pierced, or that you never wear socks.

Honestly.... trust me... it's not that you're vegan. It's that they can't accept people who are unique.

[sirdidymus37]

i think we always want to be observant of the vibes that we are giving out to the world as well.  It's very easy to paint a mental self-portrait of ourselves and then, any interaction we get back from the world - we tell ourselves "a story" and automatically associate that interaction with our colored perception.

I'll give an example.  Perhaps someone has had a bad experience in the past with someone that was vegan.  Perhaps this person is now not sure of exactly what type of approach to take.  In our minds - we might perceive their confusion in a negative light.  We may tell ourselves that "oh, they're being all quiet and withdrawn now because they're judging us" when in fact - maybe they're just trying to figure us out.

Another example might be someone might have misconceptions about a vegan/vegetarian.  Maybe they've never come across someone w/that lifestyle before - and again, they're simply not sure what, if anything, is appropriate or not.  So they might seem standoffish until they feel more comfortable.

In essence - that's pretty common in the dating scene in general (or just, in getting to know someone)l.  People are ~so~ diverse and two Christians can potentially be very diverse from one another, the same with two vegans, two hunters...etc etc.  I've come across people in dating where they might have been totally offended by something i did/said  (we're not talking about anything physical or intimate here) whereas another person may have laughed their ass off at the same - so there can very easily be that awkwardness in getting to know someone.

In short, i would say if someone's mannerism changes when they hear of your lifestyle - think about what you may be projecting to them and don't presume their changes are negative per'se, they might simply be adjusting and if you get beyond that aspect - who knows, maybe you'll find lots to like about that person.

[baypuppy]

what cali said.

i find online dating can be good for meeting people because it gets the weird out of the way. you don't even have to say vegan, but you can list your favorite foods that are obviously not omni and any intelligent person would hopefully note you like plants to eat. online dating favors women. try okcupid - it is free and a few of us have found sweetums on there.

my LF is vegetarian and it works great. sometimes she is like "i just had cheese!" but it is minimal enough i'm not bothered by it. i'll date someone of any diet as long as they nom down whatever i feed them and they make me vegan stuff. easy.

[eric christian]

I'd like to add a lot of a relationship is based on fair and equal reciprocation and of course the ability to have an understanding of ones partners decision making.

[Capture]

I'd like to add a lot of a relationship is based on fair and equal reciprocation and of course the ability to have an understanding of ones partners decision making.

Yes! I agree.

[faeries-r-after-me]

Since going vegan (only a few months ago ) I have often wondered how I'd go meeting new people, considering how difficult its been with my current friends and family. But I guess the 2 points I'd keep in mind is first not to compromise myself and my beliefs, and secondly, the really good ones that aren't veg may be worth persevering with ... telling people your vegan is usually very confronting, and i think after the initial reaction, you might be surprised.  Just don't be disappointed by their first impression is what i think! maybe that also sounds kinda desperate ... lol

I was actually converted by my current boyfriend who is vegan, I consider myself extremely lucky! It took me a fortnight and a viewing of Earthlings before I made up my mind, I'm glad he was patient with me

[hanashi]

hrm.....well being in a very veg*n friendly city IS helpful, tends to take the stigma out of things.....But, even as a Pescatarian, I've had issues. The way I tend to treat it is when out at dinner ask questions about the food, or when deciding on a place to go, ask if _____________ has 'veg options' or say something along the lines as ____________has food I can eat, so let's go there! Another way I've done it is be fairly straight forward about it (minus the emotional/political side of things) tell them how the diet works for you and explain that if you eat something not veg*n you could wind up being very ill.

I was reared Pescie, so my body has never learned how to digest other animal proteins.... If a potential or current partner asks me why I haven't broadened my dietary horizon, I simply tell them I'm too lazy/don't believe hugging a toilet for a nausea, diarrhea, cramp filled month is worth me being able to eat a steak! After all, I've lived just fine without it for this long, why do I need to change it just for them to feel more comfortable.

Also, if you feed them some nom worthy foods, you will tend to win over even the staunchest omni. When it comes to semi communal living (ie 'over nights') have a few separate pans for food prep is a good idea also. You need to be clear about your boundaries as to what you're comfortable (or not) with having in your place, and have some 'you friendly' food at their place.


In college, I had two friends who dated for a while. He recently became vegan before they started dating, she wasn't. How they went about it was she had cans of tuna at his place for her to eat when she felt the need for animal protein. Whether or not he'd be comfortable with this if he didn't already have an omni roommate, I don't know. But, knowing him, I think he would have.

[prettyin_punk]

Don't let it bother you, if the person has a problem with veganism fuck em'. I've sadly never dated a vegetarian guy . I try not to let the meat thing bother me, as long as it's not touching my food or in my face, and as long as i'm not gettng kissed by someone who just ate a meaty sandwich 2 minutes previously. uggh. i just hate the "wow, i could never do that or well, what do  you eat?". "I get down on my knees and graze like the cows"........ lol

[mamaanna]

Veganism is sexy! We're living lives of conscience and actually walking the walk of our ethical beliefs. How rare is it to find people who are into something so life-changing and healthy and good? People fucking love good vibes and powerful energy. Embrace yourself and everyone else will too.

The ideal solution, of course, is to find someone like-minded who is also awesome and super sexy and whatnot. Back when I was unattached I dated ladies mostly, but never ever any veggies. However, I have two male exes who both converted (and stayed) vegan. I can send their numbers on if anyone's interested...

[TheLovelyJesse]

I don't think it makes dating anymore difficult. Thank goodness, because I don't need one more thing to make it even more uncomfortable!

[sharkie]

I guess I'm pretty lucky.  I only went veg 6 months or so ago, but my bf (who I've been dating for two and a half years plus now) was totally cool about it.  He loves the food I cook for him and will even read the packaging of something he is eating so that he knows if he can share it or not.     He says he could never be fully veggie because he craves meat too much when he's not eating it (which is fair, since I think that some people are just not well suited to vegetarianism, either mentally or physically), but I've convinced him to eat more vegetables, so I'd say it's fair.

[legia]

being vegan has steriotypes but i normally don't bring it up in conversation unless i'm ordering food. then it usually leads to conversation rather than turn people off. no akward silences on a date for sure My bf is omni and met me when i was an ovo lacto veg, when i went vegan he was cool with it even though i'm still trying to conver him lol