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my poetry/writing

I was wondering if anyone would be interesting in reading some of my literature. I enjoy writing especially poetry. Here is a poem of mine. i don't mind constructive criticism so have fun!

There are chemicals in the Airducts
Carbon monoxide fills the sky
The world is being contaminiated
With all of your guilt and lies

Your mind is slowly slipping
From the truth that you've inhaled
While your body is being buried
Your thoughts of destruction have failed

Say your paryers and confide your faith
In the redemption of your sins
The heathens may reject you
As your state of mind will win

:) Very nice, if a little dark.  I hope you don't hate U2, because it reminds me of lyrics Bono would write in the '80s - back when their music was better.

??? I don't get the last two lines.

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lol thank you. i've personally never listened to u2 but i'll try anything once.

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I also write poetry!  :)

I like the metaphor of the word contamination: with the outside and linking it to peoples feelings- both which are true

I  like the last stanza a lot.  In seems like an emotional/spiritual purging beyond what ordinary people think and the most important thing is how you feel in your mind...positive thoughts, good will etc.

I have written many poems similar to yours.    Share more in the future! 

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Well, if you do - don't make it any of their recent stuff.

early '80s
Sunday Bloody Sunday:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzRwK79SkCU (about violence in Northern Ireland)
New Year's Day:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQaFue_KvoQ

mid '80s
Pride:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJCGYn_nhGQ (about MLK, Jr.)

early '90s
Mysterious Ways:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YPHC7ts2fk (change in sound)

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That's so funny Humboldt_Honey...I was thinking about U2 as I read it too!  I imagined it to a tune sort of like "Bullet the Blue Sky."

I liked it Pretty in Punk.  Thanks for sharing!  :)

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That's so funny Humboldt_Honey...I was thinking about U2 as I read it too!  I imagined it to a tune sort of like "Bullet the Blue Sky." 

;D Awesome!  I was putting it to "Seconds".  I read it again to "Bullet the Blue Sky".

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Good poetry PNP. I have slowly started writing again too. Does anyone know of a good, free, online resource for writing "lessons"? There aren't any workshop type things here and I can't afford to go back to college.
BTW Pretty, I am sooo glad you posted this thread, I've been wanting to ask that question and I thought it would be toooo far off topic. Thank you again and again.

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