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crazy in love....literally crazy.

i'll try not to bore you with all the details, but the story goes something like this:

the boyfriend really liked this other girl for a while, then she accused him of spreading a rumor and his crush on her stopped.  a few months later, we started hanging out, and a few months after that we started dating.  fast forward to a year and change into our relationship, i still have unsettled feelings about her.  i've been cheated on in the past, and i know how easy it is for old feelings for someone to resurface.  i'm terribly afraid of losing him because he's amazing to me.  i know he would never cheat on me, and that's not what i'm afraid of. i'm mostly afraid of him losing interest in me and having his feelings for her come alive again.

the awful truth: i snoop in his facebook from time to time and recently saw his messages to her.  it wasn't anything inappropriate, but the fact that he reached out to her bothered me.  i confessed to him about it today, and he said he was trying to get info about a job with the company i also applied for.  i believe him, and he gave me good reason.  amazingly, he said he wasn't mad, but he wasn't happy about it.  i know how crazy the whole thing is and how paranoid i must seem.  i apologized a lot and told him to change his password.

i needed to vent more here, because i was trying to talk and explain all this to him through a wall of tears over the phone.  side note, he's in NH, and i'm 9000 miles away until May.  he only left a week ago, and it's been a tough transition so far.

has anyone else been in my shoes, or at least a similar style/knock off brand of shoes?
thanks for listening.

Long distance relationships are so hard, especially if you're apart early in the relationship. it's so easy to start to let doubts creep into your mind when you're not seeing each other and only talking on the phone. It's hard to read tones, and without body language, some communication is quite difficult. When my bf and I had been together for 6 years we had to spend a summer apart, and things were really difficult for us, as we didn't communicate effectively, then there were other people involved. I look back, and we just weren't open and honest with each other every single day. We didn't say things like "I don't like how much time you're spending with Sarah," because I felt crazy thinking that, since they were just friends. But I should have been more honest, so then he could have told me how they were just friends. Without facts, our minds can start to run away with crazy thoughts.

I think you're totally normal, and I think fessing up about the Facebook thing was great. When you can finally be together in May, you're going to be even stronger because of the trust you've built over this time.

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thanks girl for reassuring me i'm not a complete psycho  :)

he's so good to me, but you're right about minds being able to run away with crazy thoughts.  mine does that ALL the time. it sometimes feels like if i expect the worst, i won't be hurt or surprised if it actually comes true.

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“You can't stop loving or wanting to love because when its right, it's the best thing in the world. When you're in a relationship and it's good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete.” -Keith Sweat

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