i'll try not to bore you with all the details, but the story goes something like this:

the boyfriend really liked this other girl for a while, then she accused him of spreading a rumor and his crush on her stopped.  a few months later, we started hanging out, and a few months after that we started dating.  fast forward to a year and change into our relationship, i still have unsettled feelings about her.  i've been cheated on in the past, and i know how easy it is for old feelings for someone to resurface.  i'm terribly afraid of losing him because he's amazing to me.  i know he would never cheat on me, and that's not what i'm afraid of. i'm mostly afraid of him losing interest in me and having his feelings for her come alive again.

the awful truth: i snoop in his facebook from time to time and recently saw his messages to her.  it wasn't anything inappropriate, but the fact that he reached out to her bothered me.  i confessed to him about it today, and he said he was trying to get info about a job with the company i also applied for.  i believe him, and he gave me good reason.  amazingly, he said he wasn't mad, but he wasn't happy about it.  i know how crazy the whole thing is and how paranoid i must seem.  i apologized a lot and told him to change his password.

i needed to vent more here, because i was trying to talk and explain all this to him through a wall of tears over the phone.  side note, he's in NH, and i'm 9000 miles away until May.  he only left a week ago, and it's been a tough transition so far.

has anyone else been in my shoes, or at least a similar style/knock off brand of shoes?
thanks for listening.