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Body type and dating

From a purely image-related standpoint, how do you feel about dating people with a different body type than yours? I'm talking about really short people with really tall ones, heavy-set people with skinny people, etc.

I never really thought much about it until some guy was flirting with me and I found myself thinking "he is way too thin for me."

I don't know if this is a reflection of me being insecure/vain/superficial or not. What do you guys think about dating people with a different body type?

I genuinely believe that, Cat. 

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I've been reading a lot of advice columns by Carolyn Hax (Washington Post) lately, and something she wrote about resonated with me:

Quote:
I think you overlook and forgive, ungrudgingly, the little things that come as a natural byproduct of something you really like about someone--and you get hung up on the byproducts of things you don't like. Let's take ... 20 extra pounds, for example. If those pounds are there because your mate (in your approving opinion) loves life, fun and rich desserts, then you're going to see them as something between just fine and charming. If those pounds are there because your mate (in your disapproving opinion) is lazy, compulsive and/or and inclined to make excuses, then every pound is going to get on your nerves. I'll go so far as to say the affection for the same "flaw" increases in the former state, and the loathing of it increases in the latter.

Very true.  The man I dated the longest and I wish I was still with was nothing like the man I expected to find.  We all have these images in our heads.  I'd rather have an overweight husband who cares about his health and has similar pasions as I do than a perfectly fit handsome man that won the genetic lotto and is atually a lazy, junt-eating couch potato.  My best relationships have bene with the nerdy types.  Go figure. 

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He does have beautiful hands. But slimmer than me and unable to pick me up in his arms without herniating himself. I just had to come to terms with the fact that I'll never be rescued from a burning building in the arms of a man with a Prince Valiant haircut...sigh.  ;D I've always wanted to feel petite and fragile and protected. Not gonna happen.

So funny!!!

My bf is skinny like me... but more like "skinny buff"... I agree that everyone has their ideal type but the 2 boys I have dated for the longest time (3 and 5 years) have not been my type at all... guys that are "my type" tend to be conceded assholes for some reason... so I'm glad I'm not stuck on only being with guys that look a certain way... personality is what makes a relationship last... looks fade

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I'm 5'10 and I have dated guys that are like...just my height...but It always felt kinda weird to me...I wish I wasn't like that but ya know, it kinda made me feel like a giant or something.  My current boyfriend is 6'4 and I love the feeling of being so much shorter than someone :)

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It's funny looking back at the silly standards I had set for dating... They could either be shorter than me or younger than me... But not both. However, as I grew older I realized that with being born in Feb. of '89 and being 5'11 those preferences would just hinder me.  I had dated Paul previously (in 8th grade) but he moved away ( :() and I didn't run into him again until our senior year of high school. So this past year I sought him out (again :search:... on myspace no less) and we've been dating for a year on 1/26.

On a sweet and corny note Paul is roughly 2 inches shorter than me and two weeks younger, but when I'm with him it's never been an issue (for me at least haha). Also he's a guy who proposed to me twice nearly ten years apart. Now I am officially engaged to be married, and may it hopefully be within the next year. I just know that he has taught me what it means to truly be in love with someone, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.

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wb, eggallergyinmd, and congrats!

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I'm extremely tall AND overweight (I use to be obese, but now I'm just barely overweight).

I could never, ever, ever date someone skinnier than me. Or at least I don't think so.
It would make me insecure (have you ever seen a really skinny guy with a chubby girl? don't you wonder how that works? uh, in a physical sense? I'm not saying it doesn't work, just... yeah, forget it.)
I honestly just find chubby guys adorable.
and I love beards.
and really tall guys.. but the tall guys always like the short girls. No joke.
I also love nerds. I like smart people.

I would give anyone a chance, though; I hope people are giving me a chance.

to be honest, it's not so much about looks as it is smarts, for me.
I really have a thing for intelligent people.
I currently am crushin' on the valedictorian of our graduating class.. I know he'd never be interested in me, though.
he's not my type, physically.. at all. but I find him adorable and hilarious.

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My boy towers over me, and he is a bigger dude.  He's squishy in all the right places and I love it  :)>>>

Doesn't matter a whole lot to me, although I do get a bit self conscious when I'm taller than a guy.

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"squishy in all the right places" haha.. i love it!

yeah i really love a good ass and thighs. i have a super weird thing about thighs. the only reason i think it's weird is cause i have never met another woman as into thighs as me.. i know many who are into asses, though, so yeah.

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Everyone always said, "Looks don't matter, it's what inside that counts." 
Did I listen?  Noooo. 
I went for the hot guy, and 50 years later, he looks like every other 75 year old dude. 
Now I have to sit around and wait to die with the most boring shit-in-the-tub in the whole world.

http://www.nataliedee.com/020910/cruel-fate.jpg

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hahaha that's a good one. ^

I like my skinny man. He's only 3 inches taller than I am and probably weighs a little less than me but he's perfect.

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I am attracted to guys around my height and weight. I definitely dig guys who are bigger than me (height and weight) much, much more than guys are thinner and/or shorter.

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My fiance is 9 inches taller than me (i'm 5'3, he's 6'). He's also really broad shouldered and big and I'm kinda small and curvy. It can be annoying at times, like I can't sit with his arm around me too long cause it hurt my neck, and I can't smooch him standing up too long cause it hurts, and he gets over excited and squeezes me and I feel like he's gonna snap my neck... but practical hazards aside, it works fine.

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I tend to go for the shorter, curvier women. Especially curvy in the lower... regions. For some reason I have never really been attracted to the really slim women, with a few notable exceptions. My guess is that I prefer women with a somewhat similar build to myself.

Most often with my preferences though, it comes down to a probability to be women with central/south central European ancestry with green/hazel eyes, a certain face shape, and dark blonde hair. Those conditions will trump any other preferences if they show up together. If they show up in someone who is shorter and athletic, I tend to be hopelessly smitten.

I'm 5'10 and I have dated guys that are like...just my height...but It always felt kinda weird to me...I wish I wasn't like that but ya know, it kinda made me feel like a giant or something. 

I know what you mean, but from the other side of the equation. My last gf was almost exactly the same height as me. Once she put on some heels - which she did most of the time - she was several inches taller than me. Honestly I feel stupid for it, but it really did make me feel awkward standing next to her. I felt like a dwarf.

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im 5'4" and curvy and my bf is 5'9" and thin, he definitely weighs less than me.  Its not really an issue unless i start thinking about it.  he said he would plump up so i wouldn't feel uncomfortable hehe.  I told him it wasnt necessary, its just a matter of not self-conscious.  Other guys that I've briefly dated have been thin as well.

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Im 5'2 and dh is 5'9. We are built very differently. I'm super narrow and petite and he is broad and thick. At one point he weighed 180 something (we just found this record we were keeping when he was trying to lose weight). He now weighs about 155 and looks much better! I don't really notice when he puts on/takes off pounds-probably because of his body type. He can wear an extra few pounds and have it go unnoticed. I, on otherhand, look totally different with 5 extra pounds on me. I have no where to hide it! I wish I did!
I did tell him that i didn't want him to get fat again though :)

I have dated really tall skinny guys, a couple fat guys (i really liked their personalities), mostly guys who are a bit taller and broader though. I've never dated anyone with a Baywatch body. Or even fooled around with them. I guess that type doesn't like me! I don't think I've ever went after one either though.

but no one shorter than me. that would be weird. not that i have anything against "little people" but i don't know...maybe I do!

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I tend to go for the shorter, curvier women. Especially curvy in the lower... regions. For some reason I have never really been attracted to the really slim women, with a few notable exceptions. My guess is that I prefer women with a somewhat similar build to myself.

Most often with my preferences though, it comes down to a probability to be women with central/south central European ancestry with green/hazel eyes, a certain face shape, and dark blonde hair. Those conditions will trump any other preferences if they show up together. If they show up in someone who is shorter and athletic, I tend to be hopelessly smitten.

I'm 5'10 and I have dated guys that are like...just my height...but It always felt kinda weird to me...I wish I wasn't like that but ya know, it kinda made me feel like a giant or something. 

I know what you mean, but from the other side of the equation. My last gf was almost exactly the same height as me. Once she put on some heels - which she did most of the time - she was several inches taller than me. Honestly I feel stupid for it, but it really did make me feel awkward standing next to her. I felt like a dwarf.

good, at least I know I was making them feel like dwarfs.....(j/k) yes, its annoying not being able to wear heels when dating someone just your height.  Its like those pictures of Tom Cruise and Katie whatever where shes like leaning over hugging him while towering above him, you know shes wishing she wore flats.

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I tend to go for the shorter, curvier women. Especially curvy in the lower... regions. For some reason I have never really been attracted to the really slim women, with a few notable exceptions. My guess is that I prefer women with a somewhat similar build to myself.

Most often with my preferences though, it comes down to a probability to be women with central/south central European ancestry with green/hazel eyes, a certain face shape, and dark blonde hair. Those conditions will trump any other preferences if they show up together. If they show up in someone who is shorter and athletic, I tend to be hopelessly smitten.

I'm 5'10 and I have dated guys that are like...just my height...but It always felt kinda weird to me...I wish I wasn't like that but ya know, it kinda made me feel like a giant or something. 

I know what you mean, but from the other side of the equation. My last gf was almost exactly the same height as me. Once she put on some heels - which she did most of the time - she was several inches taller than me. Honestly I feel stupid for it, but it really did make me feel awkward standing next to her. I felt like a dwarf.

good, at least I know I was making them feel like dwarfs.....(j/k) yes, its annoying not being able to wear heels when dating someone just your height.  Its like those pictures of Tom Cruise and Katie whatever where shes like leaning over hugging him while towering above him, you know shes wishing she wore flats.

I tend to go for the shorter, curvier women. Especially curvy in the lower... regions. For some reason I have never really been attracted to the really slim women, with a few notable exceptions. My guess is that I prefer women with a somewhat similar build to myself.

Most often with my preferences though, it comes down to a probability to be women with central/south central European ancestry with green/hazel eyes, a certain face shape, and dark blonde hair. Those conditions will trump any other preferences if they show up together. If they show up in someone who is shorter and athletic, I tend to be hopelessly smitten.

I'm 5'10 and I have dated guys that are like...just my height...but It always felt kinda weird to me...I wish I wasn't like that but ya know, it kinda made me feel like a giant or something. 

I know what you mean, but from the other side of the equation. My last gf was almost exactly the same height as me. Once she put on some heels - which she did most of the time - she was several inches taller than me. Honestly I feel stupid for it, but it really did make me feel awkward standing next to her. I felt like a dwarf.

good, at least I know I was making them feel like dwarfs.....(j/k) yes, its annoying not being able to wear heels when dating someone just your height.  Its like those pictures of Tom Cruise and Katie whatever where shes like leaning over hugging him while towering above him, you know shes wishing she wore flats.

In my experience, I enjoyed the armrest!! (5'2" dated 4'11.5")

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I'm 5'10 and I have dated guys that are like...just my height...but It always felt kinda weird to me...I wish I wasn't like that but ya know, it kinda made me feel like a giant or something. 

I know what you mean, but from the other side of the equation. My last gf was almost exactly the same height as me. Once she put on some heels - which she did most of the time - she was several inches taller than me. Honestly I feel stupid for it, but it really did make me feel awkward standing next to her. I felt like a dwarf.

See, this makes me ask the question, why would one want to wear heels if one is already tall enough for one's partner? Are there other benefits to heels? *scratches head* Of course, this is coming from someone whose feet are too big and wide to ever find heels in my size. Not that I mind. ???

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For me, since I rarely get attracted by physical attributes (although I do find some kinds of bodies particularly beautiful, it doesn't mean I wanna jump their bones), I think it's more about mine and my partner's attitudes to our body shapes.

My first boyfriend had a nice figure. Slender but muscled. He didn't have to work very hard to achieve this (i.e. genetic lottery). But as soon as he started to get a little bit more chubby in the belly region, he kept whinging about it. Meh.

My current boyfriend is a beanpole: rather skinny and about 6" taller than me (but no problems with kissing, yay). He used to be overweight, until he got his current job which made him lose 36kg due to the exercise involved. So he knows what it's like to be fat. He loves my curves, and doesn't like to hear me say that I feel overweight. But I truly like being curvy, and while I am of the opinion that my curves are too well padded right now, what annoys me more is how difficult it is to change my shape.

...Shape, not weight, because I rarely weight myself. It tends to discourage me, if I'm actively trying to lose weight and the scales don't change. Weight seems to be the last thing to change in me; but I sometimes get comments saying I look good because my curves change shape first. Go figure.

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