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What would you do different?

For those of you who only have one kid, what would you do differently the second time around?

I have a list!

1.) not have so much family visit me at the hospital, or if they did visit me, not try so hard to make them happy as they are not that important, my baby is the most important thing at that time!

2) Take more of a stand with the doctors and be firm and take what they say with a "grain of salt".  I was induced and looking back I realize that it was totally un-necessary, put undue trauma on me, and I dont' think it was good for  my son either.  He simply wasn't ready to come out yet (they induced me 2 days before my due date because he was small, but otherwise was perfect fine)  and I should have realized that and told the doctor to wait a week since all the stress tests came out fine.

3) Do a homebirth rather than at the hospital

4) breastfeed for a MINIMUM of 2 years.  I weaned my son WAY too early, at 13 months old.  I really regret that.  

5) Not allow them to take my baby away right when he is born, make him stay and nurse as SOON as he comes out of the womb for at LEAST 10 minutes.  There is no reason that they can't wait to take the footprint, clean the slime off, so forth for 10 minutes.  The first thing a baby should do right out of the womb is to lay on his/her mother's bare chest and nurse.  Again, this was something I really regretted. 

I have turned crunchy since my DD had a reaction to her 2 month vaccines. She had a high pitched cry and wailed constantly, even in her sleep for 3 days. I was terrified and was assured this was normal. Normal, my eye!

With my second, I plan on doing oral Vitamin K at birth, No eye goop, and no vaccines and cloth diapers from day 1. I have crohn's and they treated me high risk, sending me out of town for so many ultrasounds. Next time I only want 2 ultrasounds. I let them convince me my baby was going to be born too small and she was a healthy 6 lbs. I measured small the entire time, I just carry really tiny. I know this now and I just want to relax and enjoy my second pregnancy as it will be my last. I was omni for the last pregnancy and ate a lot of junk. This time I will be a strict vegetarian. No eggs, dairy, or meat. I plan on eating a whole foods diet as much as possible. Its hard when you live in an isolated mountain town. lol. I have to have a c-section because of complications from my crohns, but I read that they can use a local to numb the area afterward and it reduces the need for pain medicine post surgery. This is important to me because I want to breastfeed. It was a tricky start with my DD because she was so sleepy after her birth. I had to constantly stimulate her (tickle her, blow on her face, hold a cool cloth to her feet) to keep her nursing. I did go on to breastfeed, as we are still going at 23 months, but it was tricky at first.

I remember when I was pregnant with my first and thinking I would be this modern mother on the go, still living it up and leaving DD with a babysitter to go snowboarding, hiking, etc. Then I had her and missed 2 boarding seasons because there was no way I was going to leave my baby for more than a couple hours. I only recently started leaving her overnight and its still hard for me. This mama's gotta have fun some time.

We are trying to get pregnant with our second. I am getting impatient, although its only been 4 months.

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I agree with you SQ on not having as many visitors.  We had family come into town for the birth and there were all these activites planned, I was exhausted trying to be somewhat of a hostess, and bleeding horribly! The second day I got a high fever and bled so much I almost passed out, and I know its because I was over-doing it.

I wish I wouldn't have listened to the doctors as much, they wanted me to supplement her with formula and I did in the first week, (found out a month later after she had tons of blood in her diapers that she was totally allergic to milk protein) She was miserable at night groaning and hugging her legs to her stomach, which I was told was "normal".....sorry, but most of the doctors I've met don't know much about nutrition, so I won't be taking their advice in that area.

I wish I wouldn't have gone back to work so soon, (yes she was 7 months old, but it was too soon still, in fact I wish I didn't have to be gone so much NOW even though she is 2 years old)

I wish I would have realized more than I did that the newborn stage, though exhausting, lasts such a short time in the scheme of things, and it is one of the most precious times in the world. 

I wish I would've taken more pictures while pregnant and while she was a young baby, and in the hospital....the lesson I've learned, YOU CAN NEVER TAKE TOO MANY PICTURES!

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Oh yes. I am totally going to cherish the newborn phase this time. It was all such a blur to me with my DD. I was anxious, lacked confidence and wanted her to hurry up and do something. lol.

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me too, I had no idea what was going on, but I felt anxious and antsy a lot of the time...

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Wow, you guys just filled in some of the things that I forgot to mention on my earlier posts.

As far as vaccinations, I totally agree with the vitamin K shot.  Here baby, you are screaming becuase you just had a horrible traumatic experience, we are keeping you from the one thing that can calm you, being close to your mother and nursing you, have a shot in the leg just to make it all better!

I was out of it when my son was born but my mom was there and watching everything, and took lots of pictures thank God!  She said that she almost punched the doctors when they gave him the vitamin K shot.

And he is 16 mo old now and didn't get all of is 1 year shots, and didn't get any of his 15 month shots, but now that I read your post Mountain Mama, I am not so sure I am going to give him those shots.  I don't want him screaming for three days. 

I can't stand doctors now.  After having my son and seeing the blunders they made with him, I want to avoid them. 

And I can't believe that they suggested supplimenting with formula, in all the breastfeeding classes and so forth I took that is the #1 thing they said NOT to do!  Doctors, they really know nothing, it is very sad, and these people are supposed to be there to help, but they just make things worse!

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Wow, you guys just filled in some of the things that I forgot to mention on my earlier posts.

As far as vaccinations, I totally agree with the vitamin K shot.  Here baby, you are screaming becuase you just had a horrible traumatic experience, we are keeping you from the one thing that can calm you, being close to your mother and nursing you, have a shot in the leg just to make it all better!

I was out of it when my son was born but my mom was there and watching everything, and took lots of pictures thank God!  She said that she almost punched the doctors when they gave him the vitamin K shot.

And he is 16 mo old now and didn't get all of is 1 year shots, and didn't get any of his 15 month shots, but now that I read your post Mountain Mama, I am not so sure I am going to give him those shots.  I don't want him screaming for three days. 

I can't stand doctors now.  After having my son and seeing the blunders they made with him, I want to avoid them. 

And I can't believe that they suggested supplimenting with formula, in all the breastfeeding classes and so forth I took that is the #1 thing they said NOT to do!  Doctors, they really know nothing, it is very sad, and these people are supposed to be there to help, but they just make things worse!

maybe its just the doctors out here, because I had always read that supplementation was the wrong thing to do, but I was sent home with tons of formula "samples" and doctors telling me (over the phone
when she hadn't had a wet diaper in a few hours and I was worried) that, "no your milk definetly hasn't come in yet, shes not getting enough, and we don't want her to get dehydrated" as I was trying to describe the fact that my boobs were five sizes bigger, hard as rocks with milk coming out....stupid...I'm all for doctors when kids are actually sick or something, but they don't have a ton of nutritional training, (my brother-in-law is a surgeon but nutritionally doensn't have tons of information)

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I just wish I'd taken the time to document moments better. I have a load of photos and if they were time stamped I couldn't tell you when it was! You have so much less time on your hands when it's a 2nd baby. I feel like I blinked and she's already a year old.

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If you are considering going the no vax route, I suggest a book called "How to Raise a Healthy Child Inspite of Your Doctor" Its written by a pediatrician with 40 years of experience. Honestly after all my research, the only thing that scares me is pertussis and that vaccine has a high failure rate so to me there was no point. I had pertussis at age 7 and I was fully vaccinated. Now that she is over age 1 pertussis doesnt scare so much anymore.

www.nvic.org has some great alternative information. Another thing to consider is all the different animal proteins inside vaccines as well as fetal cell lines from aborted fetal tissue. Some see it as a necessary evil, but I dont.

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Please also look at the science behind vaccinations before you go the non-vac route.

Think about this fact (as heard on NPR the other morning)... before the measles vaccine, 1 in 500 children died from measles... 1 in 1000 were left brain damaged by measles... Compare that with the statistically negligible death rate from the vaccine, and the now discredited theory that the MMA shot caused autism. Life is scarier (and more dangerous for society) without vaccinations.

I don't want to start the whole arguement over again, but whenever people start going on about not vaccinating, I have to chime it:

Check out the REAL science (not the pseudo stuff... correlation does not equal causation!) and remember: By not vaccinating, you're also putting my children at risk.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2010/02/risky_business_reactions_to_th.html

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I am not trying to start a debate. The statistics you are quoting are world wide statistics. Meaning that kids in 3rd world countries are looped in there too. You can not compare my child to a third world countries child. I have spent what could add up to weeks researching my decision. The fact the you are assuming that I dont vaccinate based on pseudo science and internet junk is laughable. I am so sick of people saying that. I found the most damning information straight from the CDC. I found your post very disrespectful. Its about the right to informed consent and if you dont like my rights then move to China.

If your precious vaccines work so well then my decision has no bearing on your child's health.

You wanna talk herd immunity. Most adults do not have their vaccinations up to date and most vaccines dont last longer than 10 years. There is a huge unvaccinated adult population out there and that just pokes holes all over the herd immunity theory.

I am not anti-vaccine, I am pro informed consent. I know lots of people that vaccinate, but my child was injured and I am very lucky she snapped out of it. Until you see it first hand you dont effing know. In the end we are all trying to do what's best for out children.

Here is what i took into consideration for each vaccine available disease.

1. Name of the disease
2. Description of the disease
3. Length of time from initial infection to end of all symptoms
4. Infectious period
5. Normal symptoms of the disease
6. Known serious consequences of the disease
7. Proportion of persons infected developing serious consequences
8. Transmission route of the disease
9. Prevalence of the disease
10. Treatments of the disease and efficacy of those treatments
11. Relevant research about the disease
12. Name of the vaccine
13. Company that makes the vaccine
14. Contents of the vaccine
14A. The significance of whether or not the vaccine is live
15. History of development of the vaccine
16. Known side-effects of the vaccine and rate of incidence of those side-effects
17. Possible side-effects not yet acknowledged by the vaccine maker
18. Relevant research into the vaccine
19. How effective is the vaccine at preventing the disease?
20.What is the vaccine meant to do? (Many vaccines are not meant to prevent infection or transmission).
21.Number of cases reported each year.
22.Number of deaths reported each year from the vaccine and natural disease.

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I have many reasons why I dont vaccinate. Wakefields shitty research was never one of them.

The ingredients in this list are reason enough. The lack of double blind placebo studies are reason enough. The fact that no vaccine has ever been tested for long term side effects is reason enough. I used to be an analytical chemist for a pharmaceutical company, I know how to read a study. I know how to interpret toxicity data.

http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/pinkbook/downloads/appendices/B/excipient-table-2.pdf

My biggest reason for not doing it is autoimmunity. Vaccines have been linked to some rare forms of autoimmune disease and have never been thouroughly studied in regards to the more common autoimmune diseases. If they can cause the rare autoimmune diseases how can anyone guarantee that my child will not get the more common ones from vaccination. She will likely be just fine if she gets measles, crohn's disease is forever and I want to do everything in my power to prevent her from getting it. Crohn's is something that affects my life everyday. I have had 2 surgeries, 18 inches of my colon removed and multiple hospitalizations. Prove that ALL vaccines cant cause the immune system to attack its own body and I'll consider it. Remember your are injecting the body with an adjuvent, with foreign protiens that can look awfully similar to your own proteins, and lots of other garbage. Its totally plausible, and the fact that they never studied this is sad. Then again there are all kinds of studies missing when it comes to vaccination. The lack of proper studies is astounding when you compare it to what drugs have to go through to be approved.

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MountainMama~

Just an outsider's opinion.... but I don't think AiS meant his post as disrespectful to you.  I think he was merely championing the idea for each parent to do their own research.  I like that there are parents on both sides of the fence here, but that you all are promoting well informed decisions.

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Yes, above.

Also:

Quote:
I am not trying to start a debate. The statistics you are quoting are world wide statistics. Meaning that kids in 3rd world countries are looped in there too. You can not compare my child to a third world countries child.

Those numbers are from the U.S.A. - These diseases are deadly no matter where you live.

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That stat is from the WHO. Its used in the US, but its a world wide average of all countries. In countries where malnutrition is rampant, measles can kill you. Measles uses up the body's vitamin A reserves quickly causing complications. The rates of all vaccine available diseases were declining well before vaccines were introduced. Vaccination rates were really low when vaccines were first introduced. So low that they cant take full credit for the continuing decline of illness.

Again, I am not telling you to not vaccinate your children. I think parents have every right to choose what they feel is best for their child. I fully respect any parent that follows the full vaccination schedule. However, we should not make it mandatory. Thats a slippery slope. Thats the problem with North America, we are so eager to exchange our liberty for a little bit of safety. If your intuition says its wrong, then keep reading until you are sure about what you want. You can always do it later, you cant undo it once its done. By the CDC's own admission, only 1-10% of reactions are reported to VAERS. That includes reactions like death and severe injury.

Look at Japan. They have low infant mortality rates and a high vaccination rate and there schedule is fully voluntary. They also use about half as many vaccines than the USA schedule. There is a good reason they trust their government over there. They have recalled all suspect vaccines as soon as the slightest increase in side effects occur. They do not allow sick children to be vaccinated. They only do one shot at a time. They do not require shot records for school or anything really. They let the parents decide which vaccines they want and when to give them. They have a general guideline but its optional. Its that caution that inspires trust.

I tend to ask my parents about this stuff. My mom has 6 siblings. My dad has 7 siblings. My husbands dad has 10 siblings. All non vaccinated, except for small pox. They all had measles, mumps, chicken pox, rubella, etc. No one died and they all experienced mild cases.I asked them about their peers/neighbors. Not one death or serious complication. Look at the swine flu thing. They were all healthy farm kids, eating healthy farm fresh food, exposed to all kinds of germs to build an immune system. If small pox comes back, I'll consider. If Ebola comes to North America and there is a vaccine, I'll consider. Those are deadly diseases.

IMO If its your time to go a piano will fall on you in the middle of the desert. If not you will survive anything. I survived a a bowel abcess/perforation and going completely septic. That has killed healthier people than me. It wasnt my time to go. I changed that day that my daughter reacted. I must admit that the whole vaccine subject captivated me. My husband questioned my sanity at times because I must have read 2-3 hours each day of the first 9 months of my daughters life. I have chilled out a bit since then. I realized that we are all trying to do the best we can, even if we dont research every single decision. I just want to put out there that I am not some berry picking, homeschooled, moon maiden that only reads whale.to articles.

NVIC is not anti vaccine. They encourage one to look at all sides, including the CDC and the AAP. Dr.Sears The Vaccine Book is a good middle of the road vaccine book.

Quote:
Where can I get good information about vaccines so that I can make decisions for myself and family?

A: If you are asking these questions, you are on the right track. NVIC encourages all health care consumers to do their own research and engage in fully informed decision-making whenever considering a medical intervention or use of pharmaceutical products, including vaccines.

As for information sources, there is a large amount of information on NVIC’s website www.NVIC.org, including a list of websites, books, videos and other information on infectious diseases and vaccines. It is important to review information from many different perspectives, including visiting government-operated websites (www.cdc.gov) and vaccine-promoting organizations and pharmaceutical company websites (www.immunize.org) to fully understand all views about vaccine safety and effectiveness.

The key is to learn about the benefits and complications of both infectious diseases and vaccines and, after consultation with one or more trusted health care professionals and in consideration of vaccine contraindications and your child’s personal and family medical histories, decide which course of action is most appropriate.

I'll shut up now, as this thread went way off course.

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To And It Spoke and MountainMama

I have a friend who has Polio because his parents didn't vaccinate him. He cannot walk without crutches.

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I should clarify my past statements about being anti doctor, as far as nutritional information goes, I have not been that impressed, but I have seeked out other nutritionists at my university that are more trained in that area. I have found them to have up-to-date information on current research. (mine even had a copy of The China Study, and another vegan/type book.) BUT, I am the first one on the phone to my Peds doctor's office if my child is sick and she is up-to-date on her vaccinations.  However this was a difficult choice for me.  And I have friends that have gone both routes.  Like previously stated, I think parents should do as much research as possible, and feel free to get second and third opinions. 

Thats all I am going to say about it here, I think there is a vaccanation thread in food fight
http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=30601.0
yep here it is.....

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