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Only a couple of hours of smoking left to go & a rant!

Well, it is nearing my quit date and I am stressed beyond belief right now which is the subject of my rant.

Cali is sick.  It is going to take a long time for her to heal.  She is eating well and drinking lots of water (which she needs to do on the natural supplements to flush toxins out).  Her bowel movements are good and she is peeing fine.  Yes, she is bald, covered in scabs and somewhat uncomfortable but she is not close to death.

If one more person suggests that I put her to sleep I will lose it.  She doesn't want to die or she wouldn't eat.  She doesn't want to die or she would give up.  I am not willing to give up even though it means spending hours a day with her, cleaning the blood off everything and I mean everything.  My walls, my furniture, my floors, my clothes, me and her.

I also don't want to hear that I am not doing right by her.  I am not doing this to be selfish.  I am doing all of it to give her a chance at a long, healthy and happy life.  She isn't even two yet.  She will be two in December.  She spent 10 months of her life homeless.  Two months on the street and eight months in a shelter.

I knew she had mange when I adopted/rescued her.  Her immune system is compromised.

Yes, she is at a bad place in her life right now and I guess because of all of this, so am I. 

I lost my last rescue dog of aggressive pancreatic cancer June 1st, 2006 after rescuing her off the streets of Cozumel, Mexico.  I nursed her back to health when I got her.  She had heartworm, Babesia, hookworm, tapeworm and coccsidiosis.  (spelling is wrong)  I shared 3 1/2 years with her.  Nursing her back to health, having joyful, very special times with her and having her die in my arms at home while I slept.  I stayed up all night with her and when I fell asleep of exhaustion at 7:00am, she chose to leave me shortly after.  I woke an hour later with my dear sweet Isabela finally at peace.  She was probably about 8 or 9.  In that 3 1/2 years, she found true love and joy. She lived more than many dogs live in 15 years. 

So, I am not going to give up on Cali.  When she is healthy, she has the exuberance that Isabela had.  A joy to be alive and loved.

So, where do people get off telling me I should put her to sleep.  Is it because they wouldn't take the time to love and nurture a pet back to health.  That the easy thing to do, is put them to sleep and get a less challenging pet?

I love Cali and she knows it.  She loves me too.  As I type this I am covered in blood because I just gave her a bath.  Now I must go and clean my bathroom because it is covered in blood. 

OK, my rant is over.

You think I am emotional now, wait until tomorrow when I am not smoking and my bitchiness takes over.  :)

Well, good luck to you.

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Di, good luck to you and Cali.  i can't say i understand what you are going through right now, but my eyes are welling up just thinking of what it must be to see your best buddy going through that.  i have to say i erally admire you for both quitting smoking, and not putting your dog to sleep.  you both will be in my thoughts

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"Don't trust a man who doesn't like animals".--Blake Edwards

I know how you feel Di...like I felt when my erstwhile pastor's wife (!!) remarked that someone we both knew should "just have her dog put down" because it "tied her down and took up too much of her time." (Item: the dog which was in perfect health)
Like it was anything to do with the woman speaking!!
Later this "person" and her husband left under a cloud...guess she wasn't so right about everything after all....
I have an innate distrust of people who dislike animals or treat them like insensate pieces of wood.

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Di, I am teary after reading that.  :'( but at the same time, so proud of your determination....for healing Cali & for quitting smoking.
You ARE doing right by Cali & don't listen to anyone who says otherwise & since you are quitting smoking & bound to be a little more emotional than normal, the next time anyone suggest it, let 'em have it!

"A dog is the only thing on earth that will love you more than you love yourself." ~ Josh Billings

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Yknow what Di, f**k em.  It's not their dog.  Don't let anything anyone has to say about what your doing bother you. 

Now good luck on the quitting smoking. I'm pullin for ya.

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Here's another little encouragement to "stay quit" on the ciggies: Cali will do better if she's not breathing second hand smoke and having her wounds exposed to it in the air. Smoke leaves a tangible film on walls, ceilings etc...wouldn't be doing her any good.

Do it for Cali. Do it for you.
You'll both be healthier.

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Di, basically screw everyone that tells you to put Cali to sleep. They don't know her. They didn't rescue her and nurse her back to health. Just stay calm. Look to the future.  :)

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Yknow what Di, f**k em. 

My sentiments exactly.  You don't listen to those who claim that you need a steak to be healthy.  Don't bother with those who have no stake in your relationship with Cali.  You said it majicka...f**k 'em.

Good luck Di.  I'm got all my fingers and toes crossed for you and that helps keep me from lighting one up, too  ;)

Day 4 and still strong. 

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Here's another little encouragement to "stay quit" on the ciggies: Cali will do better if she's not breathing second hand smoke and having her wounds exposed to it in the air. Smoke leaves a tangible film on walls, ceilings etc...wouldn't be doing her any good.

Do it for Cali. Do it for you.
You'll both be healthier.

Oh my goodness, I didn't smoke in the house.  Not only didn't I want my place to stink, I am responsible for the lungs or air sacs of 10 furred and feathered.  I would never put them in danger. 
Mine yes, theirs...no!

I did do it for Cali though and all my critters because if I am healthy, I will be better able to care for them. 

Thanks for all the well wishes!

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GO DI!!!

You can do it.  You are so wonderful for taking care of Cali and I'm sure she loves you for it.

That's all that matters in the long run anyway ;)

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Thank you everyone for your kind words about Cali and your encouragement for me to quit smoking.

As for Cali, it just pisses me off that everyone else thinks they know what is best for her.  I am not talking about my vets or the people I am getting the natural supplements from.  They have all been great. 

Cali's immune system is so compromised she can't handle heavy duty drugs.  The natural way is the better way for her and it is taking a long time.  As she is popping blood blisters on her face and different parts of her body, I feel she is doing a huge detox.  All the crap is finally coming out.  The scabs have yucky smelly stuff under them...again stuff getting out of her body.

Anyway, thanks for all your support.  I have basically told people that I know what I am doing and wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't the right thing to do!

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I'm backin you up 100% too! However, just to try and see the other point of view, maybe those who told you to put her down just wanted to ease her suffering? But, personally, I don't think I'de ever put an animal to sleep. When its their time to go, they'll go themselves.

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I'm backin you up 100% too! However, just to try and see the other point of view, maybe those who told you to put her down just wanted to ease her suffering? But, personally, I don't think I'de ever put an animal to sleep. When its their time to go, they'll go themselves.

I should have explained better.  None of the people who have commented on putting her to sleep have seen her since she got sick.  They really have no idea what she looks like or how she is feeling.  They are reacting to the fact that I spend hours a day helping her and that, heaven forbid, there is blood and yuck.  Obviously, I hope none of their pets get an abscess or any sort of boo boo that needs medical attention and TLC.  Or money spent.
Cali is not suffering.  Yes, she is uncomfortable but when she is running again in a park acting silly and goofy, every minute I have spent with her will have been worth it.
On a happy note, when I got home from work tonight, she actually had signs of improvement.  The first time since July 13th.
And you are so sweet to think you will never put an animal to sleep.  I have lost many pets over the years.  I have been lucky with a few and had them pass in my arms or as in little birds, in my hands at home.  Sadly, many have needed help passing.  Extreme pain or illness.  When the time comes that you ever have to make that decision, your heart will guide you wisely.

Thanks for your post!
Di

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Nutdragon and Di,

How are you both doing?

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Nutdragon and Di,

How are you both doing?

Actually, I am doing great!  Read my post above!  Or below after I post this. 

How are you doing?

Di

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YAY DI!!  Cali is so lucky to have you!! 

Nutdragon, cutest dog pic!!
It rivals Tofuttibreaks... 
Why don't my pups pose so cutely?

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I miss my puppy... she lives with my parents (and her mommy and daddy dog!) in West Virginia. I wanted to bring her with me when I moved, but I knew she'd be so much happier with her doggy family. They're such a funny bunch. Dogs are such fantastic animals. I've had dogs all my life, and now that I moved away I really miss having Molly around. The playfulness and cuddles... it's so rewarding to share your living space with such loving animals.

*sigh*

I miss my puppy.

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