Don't know if I should be discussing this on here or not...but I don't have many friends to talk to and I've been really depressed lately. I'm a military spouse and since we've been married, I've only gotten to spend 6 weeks with my husband. We got married Aug. 22, 09. I came back about 3 weeks ago from visiting him in Japan for 4 weeks . Which was great! But since I came back I haven't been myself. I"ve been REALLY depressed...where I just randomly cry over nothing...nothing makes me happy or interested and I'm always tired...I can't find a job here in town cause it's "college worker season" I've put in 8 applications and no calls... I'm not in college because I need to be free to visit him whenever I can...my hobbies are baking, cooking, and reading (which I do alot) I have no friends here in town and don't know how to make any...I need some help. Any suggestions on how NOT to be so pitiful? I'm at my last end and will take any advice... :-\
do you have any pets? do you exercise? i know it must be way hard but maybe you can find some way to keep yourself busy? also 8 applications is nothing... i probably did about 150 to get 1 phone call so keep trying! if you really feel hopeless try seeing a counselor or doctor, maybe medicine might help?
Yeatsa that doesn't sound pitiful--it sounds like you have a lot of stress and probably loneliness. That's really hard to deal with being away from your husband that long. :( Being tired all the time, and losing interest, not feeling happy about things that normally make you happy are characteristics of depression but that doesn't necessarily mean you have depression. Do you have access to therapists through health insurance? Sitting down with a therapist and telling them what you put in the post could be really helpful--they can make a clinical diagnosis if needed and no matter what they should be able to help you develop some ways to cope with the stressors you're facing right now. It also just feels good to talk to someone who listens when you're kind of isolated.
And I'm not a therapist but I love to chatter away so you can always feel free to message me!
I do think amymylove is onto something--you might also benefit from trying out something new, maybe something you wouldn't think to do when you have your husband around to keep you occupied. And you might meet more peple that way! Having had depression though I know that I sometimes couldn't even muster up the energy to do something I knew would make me feel better so if you find that's how you feel I'd recommend getting to know a therapist and having them help you work with those feelings. It's hard to do it on your own.
like a gym membership or a bicycle or couch-to-5-km
Yeah definitely exercise, walking outside (esp. when I have somewhere I have to go) usually makes me pretty happy, or at least not depressed.
Just curious: you say you aren't in college because you need to be free to visit your husband when you can, but how would you deal with that if you get a job?
As an added job idea, you could place an ad offering cleaning or dog-walking services (or whatever else you can think of) on Craigslist and see if you get any response.
Selling baked goods at a farmer's market sounds like a great idea, good luck with that :)
Maybe you could host a foreign exchange student over the summer, that would at least be someone you could talk and cook with.
Also, check to see if your city has one of those "Leisure Learning" type free catalogs with a list of classes/outings like rafting or bird watching or foreign language classes. Summer is the best time to look into things like that because a lot of outdoor stuff goes on.
If you need someone to talk to feel free to message me as well! :)
Getting out in nature for a walk or hike is always helpful to me. The physical activity, fresh air, and natural setting is very therapeutic. Sorry you're feeling so down!
That must be really hard! Where in Illinois do you live? Perhaps you can find groups through meetup.com or craigslist personals (platonic ones) for people to hang out with/do stuff with? For me it helps to be with people if I'm feeling lonely, BUT, and this is a big but, it's really hard when there is someone specific you want to be with and it seems like you are trying to fill in that void unsuccessfully.
I would definitely pick up some physical activity if you can muster the energy. If you ARE truly depressed, it really does help. If you aren't really depressed but are just lonely and bored, at least it will give you something to do. I would recommend outdoors activity over the gym, though, since sunlight and fresh air will really help lift moods.
Find something new that you are addicted to, whether it be a series of books, a TV program, a game, whatever... If it takes up your time and you enjoy it it will make things much easier to get through.
Is there any end in sight for your husbands deployment (or whatever it is)? Do you guys need to be living in Illinois? Would moving somewhere help (maybe near family?).. Perhaps even just visiting far away friends or family if you have the money for it.
If you do truly feel like it's depression and not just external factors not being good, I would suggest seeing a therapist.
The link above will take you to the National Institute of Mental Health's page about depression. I've checked it out and the info is valid and non-biased. They cover everything from different kinds of depression to how you can help (they do mention mild activity and exercise!) in an easy to read format. I just happened to think of that today.
I'm glad You posted here, because it means You're reaching out for help, and in a way that does take some balls. Luckily, VW is a really cool and helpful community for all kinds of life's problems. :)
- Savor the activities You do enjoy. If it gets to the point where You don't ever want to cook/eat, or You can't focus on reading anything for very long, it's not a good sign.... So do those things, and anything else that gives You even a little happiness.
Physical activity is SO important.... it's too easy to get bed- or couch-ridden when feeling depressed, and just moving around the house can feel like such a chore. But keep Yourself physically active both in and out of the house, and You'll feel better. Go for that walk! Put on Your favourite tunes and dance around in Your underoos when You're alone at home. Clean the house. etc...
Yes, Isaboo is a great companion! Hanging out with pets all day can get lonesome, but at least they're always there for You... AND having them as a responsibility (feeding, etc.) takes You outside of Yourself and Your own problems somewhat.
Selling baked goods at the market.... great idea! Definitely persue that one.
Meet new people! Getting a job is one good way, but I know how hard that can be.... my only advice there would be filling out MORE applications...
but there's also the option of attending local events that appeal to You, or getting a gym membership, or meeting folks at the farmer's market...
And I agree with the others who've mentioned it--therapy can be really helpful if You can find affordable service in Your area. There's always church groups that offer counseling, and many that don't necessarily push their particular church views, they just listen and talk with You... which is surprisingly helpful, even with total strangers.
I hope You feel better soon!.....and I'm looking forward to that recipe. :)
AWW!!! Thanks, everyone! As soon as I'm done writing this, I'm gonna take a walk. Thanks for all the advice. I really hope I can kick this! I actually had a better day today! I came up with a super moist recipe for chocolate chip muffins with sugar topping!!! I'll post it soon.
That's great! Soak it up:)
I also recommend dancing of any sort. Belly-dancing is particularly wonderful, imo.
besides joining a gym for exercise, you can also meet a lot of people there. does your city have community classes at a rec center or something? like pottery or crafts or something?
also, i've made a lot of friends at the mall, just being in a store and striking up a conversation about how ugly a certain outfit is.
i really hope you feel better.
lol I may be Greek but I can't dance for nothing. Today is actually going alot better. I don't know what happened...but I feel better. I don't feel as hopeless as I did for the past two weeks. Tomorrow is my birthday and my family's going with me to Chicago to try out Athena's Greek Restaurant! I can't wait...they have alot of vegetarian-vegan dishes!
P.S. Recipe posted! Super Moist Chocolate Chip Muffins!
Aww, everyone can dance! You don't have to be "good" at it for it to feel great:)
So glad to hear today is better for you. Keep focusing on the positive and enjoy life! Happy birthday (tomorrow)!
Good for you.
See. . . when things seem really bad, they can only get better. . . right?
OMG!!!! BEST NEWS EVER!!! I GOT A JOOOBBB!!!! Family Video called me and said, "this is Georgia, right? We already know you...you're the girl who always brings us muffins and cookies! Since we know you...how about you come in and sign some papers!" AAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANDD my husband got sneaky and sweet and had a local flower shop deliver me the most beautiful arrangement of flowers and a bday balloon!!! :)>>>
awesome awesome awesome!!
awesome!!! see in time stuff gets better! just focus on that! times can get really tough, but in the end stuff works itself out :) i am sooooooooooo happy for you girl <3