You are here

Open letters

Seeing as we've got confessions and problems and issues springing up in threads all over the shop, I thought it might be interesting to have an open letter thread. Cathartic, perhaps. From your mother ruining your wedding, to your boyfriend who can't stop peeing on the toilet seat, or even that guy on the bus who kept making that annoying noise with his mouth, get it out here.

I'll get the ball rolling.

To my dear darling boyfriend,

Just because you are technically 'clean' when you come out the shower, it doesn't mean that I am okay with using the same towel you've been rubbing all over yourself for a month. I know you have others. I bought you two myself. Drag them out from the murky depths of the laundry basket, wash them and allow me the temporary use of a clean one.

Love, Cat

Dear Prep for Work,
Please become fascinating and interesting, which right now you are not. You are for my favourite student, but wow are you boring!

Dear Money,
Please multiply in my account by magic.

Dear Physio Process,
Please be done soon. I'm tired of giving all my cash to JM, handsome and efficient though he may be.

Much love,


Dear H,
I am afraid you are going to be so badly hurt. Stop dreaming. You're over 40, it's time you grew up. It would be good if you actually started to live like an adult. You can't expect to find the perfect mate unless and until you get your head out of the clouds and take your place in the world as a grownup. I know it's not romantic and exciting, but the real world seldom is. Face it, if that person you are so convinced is "the one" has left town without telling you, they're not the one. Obsessing about one single person is how stalkers start. I know you're not a stalker but you probably seem like one to them.
And a steady diet of self-help books isn't helping much because every time you find a new one you try to change everything to align yourself with that particular writer's ideas. Don't you find that dizzying? I'm just afraid you're going to lose who you really are in the process.
I know you didn't want to hear it from me, and I'm afraid I've lost my friend.
Don't worry, though--there's a train for the real world every half hour. I just hope you hop that express of your own free will before someone kicks you onto it.


Dear Poseidon,

Tomorrow.  I'm coming tomorrow, I promise.

Your loyal subject,


Dear Scary Woman in the Park,

Whale tales are not sexy on, well, whales.  Please wear appropriate knickers if you're going to be bending over in front of people.




dear Español clase,
Please let me pass. I don't know why things aren't "clicking" like the should ... but by dammit let them!

Dear knee,
I have a ton of working out to do for PE as I am currently doing while I type this ... please ffs give me the ability to sit and get up... I still haven't mastered peeing standing up and I don't want to yell for help, which I am close to doing.
The hurting owner of said knee

Dear VW
I am not going away, just am slow with phone postings.  I got a new puppy and don't have a name for him yet.... any ideas? Hope all is well.


dear vw,

are you safe yet?



Dear job I applied for,
Please work out. Please don't be far away. Please be a cool frame shop. Please offer me good pay. Please don't think I suck. Please don't be some stupid person that thinks me having blue hair and a nose piercing is weird. Pleaseeeeeeeee hire me and give me good hours and be awesome and close and everything I hope you are.


Dear Allergy Season,
Fork off. Aroint thee. I don't want to be around you, and I don't want you anywhere near me.
I just kicked the sleeping pill antihistamines, I do NOT want to start with the allergy pills.


Dear Vegwebbers whom I luv dearly,

Not dead, just internet-less in my new apartment.  Soon, my pretties, soon.

Love and tofu,


Hi Revvie!!!

VW has been playing up a LOT lately, so lots of people are MIA too.  But good to see you!

Shell xxx


Dear Semiveg,
I tried to email you and it bounced. I hope you got my VW message. If not: it isn't here yet.
Hoping you see this,
YG the Curious


Dear Boy Meets World,

I realize you're a television show about a fictional group of people dealing with fictional situations. I also realize that someone I consider a great friend is really into your show. I'm not judging her. I never have. I never will. I will, however, judge you, your show, and your content.

Let's get it out there: your show is  totally full of over-the-top drama and stupidity that wears me me the eff out. Furthermore, the guys are given the spotlight on your show and they are drama, selfishness, and misogyny. Let me give you five examples:

1. The main couple (Topenga and Cory) wait until marriage to have sex. Okay. Fine. Their choice. In one episode, Cory (the male) went off on a tangent about the only purpose his fiancé had was to provide sex.

2. In another episode, the males of the show raided a girl's underwear drawer. Instead of getting pissed at the boys (college-aged boys), the women turned against the victim and responded with something to the effect of - 'you can't be mad at guys. Look at them. They're sweet.'

3. In another episode, Cory went off on his fiancé Topenga because she was succeeding. He was furious because she had more success in work, in school, in employment and in life.

4. In another episode, Cory did something wrong (I can't remember what). He somehow escaped the blame, turned it around to his fiancé Topenga and made her apologize by wearing lingerie and having sex with him.

5. In another episode, the boys pulled pranks on this one girl and she decided to play along. It was all good until the boys posted a half-nude pic of her on the college campus. The pic was meant for her boyfriend's eyes only. Somehow, the situation turned into an argument about picking sides and people being upset over side-picking. No one ever mentioned how awful and immature a prank it was to post the pic.

I could go on and on about this show. But I won't. It just really irks me that your show gets away with such blatant mistreatment towards women. To treat them no better than objects or step ladders as the boys follow their own selfish dreams is pathetic. Boys shouldn't get away with such immaturity. Boys shouldn't want to get away with such behavior.

Sidenote: I'm really into this girl I met 5 years ago. She's the only one who has made my heart bounce out of my chest. We just recently got back in touch and she was telling how upset she was at guys. Why? Because a lot of guys can't lose at things. They can't support their girl and let the girl have the spotlight. Also, a lot of guys use and abuse women while seeing them just as objects.

Boy Meets World, your show promotes these attitudes for boys and kids everywhere. Make a's not getting us anywhere in this world. Men are men when they're loving and supportive and helping and involved in the relationship. Men are men when the try and try and try some more. Men are men when they think of the other person without being selfish about it. Men are men when they're accountable in the relationships they have. I may be single but I've accepted these responsibilities as a man. Boy Meets World, it pains me to see your show continuously promote boyhood.

(aka Josh)


Dear vegweb,

Stop being stupid. Thanks to you my computer got 3 trojans and messed up part of my chrome files.
From now on I'll be listening to Chrome when it screams at me everytime I visit you, please fix your issues so we may be friends again. >.<!

A very pissed off,

(Ironic that even as I'm trying to post this, avast is blocking more viruses)


Dear Vegwebbers:
Help me out here. I've lived in Europe for 30 years so I'm out of the loop on American language.
So as you may know, an Internet friend asked me for some relationship advice. I kinda knew he wanted unconditional affirmation, but I couldn't honestly give it to him because I think he's making a huge mistake. I told him this, and I tried to be nice about it.
So now he's all hurt, because he didn't want advice, he wanted to hear how right he is. And I get this email telling me how horrid and hurtful I am.
I apologised for hurting his feelings and acknowledged that yes he is hurting right now. However I didn't apologise for what I said because I don't think that's called for.
I got a reply today ostensibly accepting my apology, but when he signed off he wrote "Peace, So and So"
Hm. Am I right that this means "I'm still mad at you"?
Because from my Internet experience it is usually very passive-agressive, "I want to feel better than you so I won't say what I want to say which is piss off."
I like this person very much but this friendship is getting kinda heavy to carry.
What say you?
YG the aged


Dear yabbit,

Your time is too valuable to be spent as someones personal ego booster. He is being very passive aggressive from the sounds of it. I would drop him, he isn't worth the hassle.



Yabbit!! >:( Who is this other man?!!? I promised myself I wouldn't get hurt again. lolol!! I kid I kid! I agree with Jess.



Dear Audrey,

I love you. A lot. You're the only one who's made my heart bounce out of my chest. But you really hurt and disrespected me this week.

It's been five years since we've actually talked. So, at this time, I'll work with you and give you some practice rounds because I can see you've changed and have grown. So have I. Now we just need to figure each other out. That is, if you want to figure me out. You acted like you were interested last week so we'll see. This week you were uber busy. And uber busy is okay.

Anyhow..I may love you lots but I love myself a whole hell of a lot more. I'm not stuck on myself. It's just that I've worked so hard since you last saw me to build myself up and to build my group of great friends (the majority are from here on VegWeb and I love them).

I'm not saying you were at fault for my downfall years ago. You did, however, see the anger and depression and self-destruction tidal wave that was coming and almost drown me. You said I seem a lot happier. That's true. I'd like to maybe share that with you.


PS. I'm glad you're going vegan. Excellent choice. :)


Pre-calc Prof
WHY WOULD YOU UPDATE HOMEWORK GRADES BEFORE IT IS DUE?! Well, glad I could see my grade drop down to a C. I know you'll fix it but I don't like it being there. Blah.

Chem prof,
I can't wait for you to ask who I am when you're passing back exams tomorrow. Since I'm the only person in class you don't know and you act like every day it's my first time showing up to class when I've missed nothing so far and you only have 20 students in the class and I sit up front.
It's okay, I wouldn't know who I am either,
Girl who sits in the front and never talks.

Stop not working. I need some where to rant and ramble


what she said


VegWeb peeps:

I say, once we get the new site and everything is settled, we do another gift exchange. Thoughts??



Dear Trader Joe's,

Thank you for putting your next Florida store in Sarasota, though St. Pete would have been nicer.  That's way closer than Naples.


Dear Daniel,

The quality of your work is atrocious, your rewrites are worse than the originals, and I'm tired you your whiny attitude.  You are fired.  Please let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

Your Former Boss



Log in or register to post comments