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Open letters

Seeing as we've got confessions and problems and issues springing up in threads all over the shop, I thought it might be interesting to have an open letter thread. Cathartic, perhaps. From your mother ruining your wedding, to your boyfriend who can't stop peeing on the toilet seat, or even that guy on the bus who kept making that annoying noise with his mouth, get it out here.

I'll get the ball rolling.

To my dear darling boyfriend,

Just because you are technically 'clean' when you come out the shower, it doesn't mean that I am okay with using the same towel you've been rubbing all over yourself for a month. I know you have others. I bought you two myself. Drag them out from the murky depths of the laundry basket, wash them and allow me the temporary use of a clean one.

Love, Cat

(Waves arms, shouting excitedly): Hey guys, look, it's Carrot Wench!!

God, we have missed you, girl. Howya howya?

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Dear VW,

Carrot wench is back!  Isn't that exciting?

Love,
KMK

Dear Cali,

Yay for new homes for both of us!  Exciting!  I can't wait to live in the same state as you!

Love,
KMK

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Dear beer,

I just drank you while pooping. I never knew this would be a combination, but it was. Thank you for everything.

Love,
Base

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Dear kmk,

Yes!  It is exciting that cw and her shoulder companion are back.

Excitedly,
hh

Dear Outside,

Why does it sound like basic training is happening nearby?  All of the "sound off 1, 2" conweases me.

??? edly,
hh

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Dear Bernie Mac,

Wow man, I can't believe you're gone. The world is definitely less funny starting... now. I'll see you up there man, thanks for the laughs.

Signed,
a sad fan

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Dear Outside,

Now you're bringing me the sound of a bagpipe brigade.  I'm not complaining, but still confweased.

Acceptingly,
hh

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Dear hh,

I see that you corrected your weasguage typo/error from earlier. Have you been attending weasguage class?  ;)b

great job,

weasiepea

(you can be humboldt weasie)

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Dear VWers,
It's good to be back! If you're wondering how I've been, see above for my first two letters...that should give you some idea.
I'm also getting ready for a BIG move with my boyfriend. Have you seen those banner ads for Cosmo's Vegan Shoppe around here? As of Monday night, I'll be about 1.5 miles away from their store. Oh yeah, I'm totally going to try to get a job there.
I love you all.

love, CW

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dear cw,

i'm happy that you are doing well and are getting ready for your vegan-tastic move. i know we've talked about "issues" in the past, and i worry about you time to time, so it is good to see ya back in the game. how are your babies?

bp

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Dear bp,
Brandybuck and Pippin are doing well. They're technically almost adults  :o  but they'll always be mah babies...We've been bonding a lot more lately, especially Brandybuck--she never used to let me hold her for longer than a few seconds, as she was always ready to run about and explore--but I've recently had some major snuggle sessions with her and she's calmed down a lot.
As a bonus, we're moving into a pet-friendly apartment, AND the landlady said that we don't have to pay the pet fee since they're only rats.  ;)b
I could go on forever about the babies, but I have dinner to tend to.

much love,
CW

p.s.
you and tino are totally cute.  :)>>>

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:-D :-D :-D :-D
;)b
:)>>>

Dear beer,

I just drank you while pooping. I never knew this would be a combination, but it was. Thank you for everything.

Love,
Base

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dear thhf, (and bp)

thank you. I almost don't know what to do with all this flattery.
bashfully,

tino

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dear hh,

I love your picture. I always have. I don't know what it is.

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dear sort-of roommate who lives in the basement,

I like you, but I hate how loud you are. I live 4 floors above you and can still sometimes hear you talking. It isn't nice to hear the basement door slam closed EVERY time you go up the stairs/down them, especially when it awakens me due to a near-heart attack. Also: I understand that you like hooking up your x-box to the router (which is in my tv room), however, after 12 hours of work I do like to sit and watch the idiot box once in a while...so it would be awesome if you could try to do it when I'm out of the house. And could stop leaving messes on the table...I spent all year cleaning up after the 3 people who lived in my part of the house; I don't want the basement apartment mess to add to it.

thanks in advance & no hard feelings,

a weary tino

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Dear tino,

My avatar picture?  I think I'm the only hh.  That's my cat, Cat.  A different picture?  A different person?  The andro pic from The Record?

Since we're on the topic of unknown pictures, it took me until just before cali changed the picture of her neck that I figured out what it was.  I knew it was a cali part, I just didn't know which one.

Live traps work wonders for basement pests.  You could relocate him to a nice field.  If you include a battery back for the x-box he may not even notice for a while.

:) ,
hh

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hh: it is the picture of Cat. Something in his expression speaks to me. (seriously)

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Dear Long-Lost Clif Bar That Fell Out of My Duffel Bag While I Was Packing,
I love you.
KMK

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tb,  Yeah.  He was one awesome sentient being.  hh.

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Dear KMK,

Thanks for not greeting me when I came into chat. My heart broke.

your BFF, AC

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Dear postwhores,

I simply cannot keep up with you guys. I don't come here nearly enough. I have prior obligations to another message board. I still love you guys and I hope to some day be in your neat club.

Love,
Base

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dear new apartment,

i am super excited to move into you, but also stressed about what all that entails...

can't wait for it to be over,
your future tenant

dear current apartment,

i am so sad to leave your rooftop, it will be dearly missed.  let's spend lots of time together before i have to go.

stepping all over you,
your current tenant

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dear last bite of clif bar i ate after you fell out of my hands onto the road while on my bicycle,

i'm so glad i ate you. 40 miles of climbing takes a lot out of you and double back to pick you up plus eating that dirt really did something for me. thanks.

love, hesp.

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