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I friggin hate bullies!! needing advice (this is a long post..sorry)

So, dh and I bought a house in May.  Everything was good, until the neighbor wife came over and gave me a rundown of who 'sucked' and who didn't, who has dirty secrets and who doesn't, how the previous owners of our house were abusive to their children and his wife, and how they ran him and his wife out of the neighborhood (like it was something to be proud of), and a lot of other neighborhood drama.  All of which I could care less about, being as I'm not 16, and dh and I keep to ourselves.
We were friendly for a while, and then she had surgery.  I told her I would try to help her if I could, but that I couldn't do much, because I was in a walking boot, and I have a 5 year old who wasn't in school yet.  Dh had to go to a class for work  in OH (and the class is 5 minutes from his parent's houses) so, rather then leaving us at home, we all drove there.  I shot her a text telling her we'd be out of town for 2 weeks, and to see if her husband could make sure nothing looked out of place outside.  She replied with "I thought you were supposed to take care of me"  yikes.  I had my old neighbor come by to pick up mail and feed the cat every other day, becase, as my neighbor said, she couldn't do much, because she just had back surgery.  My other neighbor called and said that we hadn't had any mail in 4 days, and I found out my crazy neighbor took it, thinking she would be helpful- so I told her I had someone coming by already taking care of that- and she freaked the eff out, and didn't put my mail back till the next week.
Moving on to a couple weeks later, I found what appeared to be either a mistreated dog, or a dog with allergies, because it was missing fur in patches.  I cleaned it up, and she offered to help, so I let her.  Then, since I had 2 dogs at the time, dh said we would keep it in the bathroom overnight, and take it to the pound/vet in the morning to see if we could help it/find it's people.  She wanted to keep it at her house, and I said fine, that way it wouldn't be stuck in a bathroom all night, and they had no pets, so if it did have any diseases, our animals wouldn't be at risk. 
Well, she took it to the vet, and microchipped it in her name, and didn't bother looking for it's people.  They said they drove around the neighborhoods looking for flyers (which I later found out from the actual owner, they drove around taking them down)  Right before school started, I saw a flyer looking for said dog and it had a number on it, and I texted my neighbor to see if she saw the flyer, and she basically said finders keepers losers weepers.  DH went over there, and asked if they would reconsider calling and telling them they found her dog, and she said that they spent too much money at the vet getting her fixed up, and they weren't going to giver her back. 
My mom can be a bit abrasive sometimes, so I called the number on the flyer, and was going to undo any damage she had done, and found out that my mom was the 5th person to call about the whereabouts of her dog, and that she had tried to go get her, but she slammed the door in her face and told her she didn't have a dog. The owner got mad and had some people um,
vandalize their cars.  They threw a brick through her back windshield and threw paint on his car, and according to the crazy neighbor, threatened them until they gave her back.  While the police were outside taking their statements, the husband was giving my husband all sorts of dirty looks,and my dh told me he was going to wait to go to work, because he didn't
trust them, so he waited on our driveway for me to get home (we live right across the street from the school).  They decided to clean up the mess an hour and a half after the cops left, when all the parents were walking their kids to school, and proceeded to yell at dh at the top of their lungs calling him every name in the book (in front of children- and in his
uniform- dh is military) and told passersby that we did this to their cars, and that we're awful people, etc.  I could hear her yelling all the way at the school, so I ran home and wanted to show her that that's not how you do things, but dh told me not to, so we went inside, and he went to work a short while later.
Ever since then, they have tried to make our lives a living hell.  They mock us because of our vegan life style, they stare us down everytime we come and go from our house, they have their kids say rude things to us, and stare us down, and any time they have people over, they get them to do it too.  It got to the point where I didn't feel safe, so we got another
dog, and we were going to put him in training to be a guard dog (which I now see was lame).  They backed off in the winter (i know, it's still winter, but in TX it's not winter for long) and now that it's getting warmer, they're back to the same crap.  I've called the police about it, and they said technically they arent doing anything wrong, because they're acting
like little kids in the back seat of the car "im not touching you..." (when I called them when they were yelling at dh, they came, but they didn't file a report, because he thought the neighbors actions were justified, being as he was the one who took their statement...wth??  So, now, we have to deal with their crap, and as much as I try not to stress about it,
I can't help it, because I'm pregnant, and my hormomes are all sorts of messed up.  We are trying to be the bigger person, by not saying/doing anything, but they're making it really hard. What really sucks, is they rent and we own.  I called the previous owner of the house, and he said they pulled the same stuff with them, and made up all sorts of rumors about
them, and that they won't stop until we/they move.  HOA won't/can't do anything about it either.  I'm fed up, and normally, I would try to talk it out, but there is absolutely no reasoning with them.  Moving is not an option.
I'm fed up, and there's not a lot we can do. 
So, my question is... what would you do in this situation?

If they were telling people you damaged their property, that's defamation of character and potentially slander (I think you have to show harm for slander).  Could you get a restraining order or something like that?  Or every time they yell, they'd be breaking a noise ordinance and file a formal noise complaint with code enforcement?  I think you could also sue them in court for something about their yelling at you (noise) impacts your ability to enjoy your property.

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If they were telling people you damaged their property, that's defamation of character and potentially slander (I think you have to show harm for slander).  Could you get a restraining order or something like that?  Or every time they yell, they'd be breaking a noise ordinance and file a formal noise complaint with code enforcement?  I think you could also sue them in court for something about their yelling at you (noise) impacts your ability to enjoy your property.

First off, welcome to VegWeb, jomamma!

Second, I'm so sorry you've moved into Psychoneighborville, USA.

Third, I really like HH's response. I was thinking of ways you could "trap them" in illegal activity. HH had some great ideas so I'll ride her coattails and say "I second that."

-Josh

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If they were telling people you damaged their property, that's defamation of character and potentially slander (I think you have to show harm for slander).  Could you get a restraining order or something like that?  Or every time they yell, they'd be breaking a noise ordinance and file a formal noise complaint with code enforcement?  I think you could also sue them in court for something about their yelling at you (noise) impacts your ability to enjoy your property.

The yelling happened in August, they just glare, and have their friends glare at us and anyone we have over now.  They aren't breaking any laws by glaring.  I try not to show any emotion when we go or come home, because that's what they want.

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This all really sucks.  I would just ignore them at every possible turn.  They want your reaction.  They want to know they are affecting you.  I would think that what they are doing is some kind of harassment.

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i would personally go for the kill them with kindness route... sounds like they don't own a braincell between all of them, and that smiling and yelling "good afternoon to you too, nice weather we're having" everytime they glared or said anything to you would confuse the shit out of them.. and if they saw that you weren't bothered by their yelling glaring or anything, they would get bored and stop. just my experience, but i think it might work to solve the problem with out any of that legal stuffs.. i really suck at legle stuffs...

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jeez, people are fucking nuts. im so sorry this is happening to you, especially you being pregnant. :/ i really don't have any advice. but i'll send good vibes your way! i hope they move soon!

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The yelling happened in August, they just glare, and have their friends glare at us and anyone we have over now.  They aren't breaking any laws by glaring.  I try not to show any emotion when we go or come home, because that's what they want.

In that case, I'd chose one of two approaches:

1) Mock them by waving and cheerfully say "good morning!" every time they made eye contact while glaring, or

2) Disregard them.

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you guys are awesome, thanks for your input  :)

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Ignore them & kill them w/ kindness are generally the best ideas.  Maybe you could buy them some coloring books or something shiny so they have something else to do? 
If the idea of them spreading false rumors about your family is a concern, make a point of addressing that with your other neighbors (Preferably in full view of the crazy house because that will likely irk the hell out of them; you gotta have some fun.).  Since the crazy family has a history of this kind of harassment you'll probably at least find a sympathetic audience and maybe some support.  Start with the people the wife was badmouthing.  Do they still have the dog?  Jackasses.
I would probably bait them.  Put something in the yard that they won't be able to resist stealing/destroying and point a web cam at it from inside the house.  Get a bit o'incriminating evidence.  You're a mom so I guess you've got that whole good example thing to worry about ...so filling their mailbox full of jello is probably out of the question.  Are your houses close enough to make use of either of these gadgets?
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/b278/
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/security/9a06/#tabs
Seriously though, it really is awful that you have to put up with that, especially while pregnant.    Have you spoken to their landlord? 

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Post your neighbor's facebook so we can troll the shit out of her.

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Ignore them & kill them w/ kindness are generally the best ideas.  Maybe you could buy them some coloring books or something shiny so they have something else to do? 
If the idea of them spreading false rumors about your family is a concern, make a point of addressing that with your other neighbors (Preferably in full view of the crazy house because that will likely irk the hell out of them; you gotta have some fun.).  Since the crazy family has a history of this kind of harassment you'll probably at least find a sympathetic audience and maybe some support.  Start with the people the wife was badmouthing.  Do they still have the dog?  Jackasses.
I would probably bait them.  Put something in the yard that they won't be able to resist stealing/destroying and point a web cam at it from inside the house.  Get a bit o'incriminating evidence.  You're a mom so I guess you've got that whole good example thing to worry about ...so filling their mailbox full of jello is probably out of the question.  Are your houses close enough to make use of either of these gadgets?
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/b278/
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/security/9a06/#tabs
Seriously though, it really is awful that you have to put up with that, especially while pregnant.    Have you spoken to their landlord? 

umm, that is friggin AWESOME!!!! i didn't know stuff like that existed.  The other neighbors that we have met (we are on the end of the street) don't want to get involved, so they don't talk to us, which is a shame, because we have only met the other neighbors once or twice.  But if they can't think for themselves, then eff em.  Theres one neighbor that they constantly socialize with, and he's just as much of a douche as they are.  Dh was coming home the other night, and he hears "IS THAT HIM?!?!" from a whole bunch of dudes on their friend's driveway, as he's getting out of the car.  I mean, really?
They still have the dog.  They complained about mine constantly barking, and we got them to stop, but they leave "theirs" out all the time so she barks.  It's all of 3 pounds, and they leave it out in the cold.  She's escaped like 5 times, but because she's legally microchipped to them, we give her back to them.  Next time, I'm not goig to be so nice.  I still have teh owners number, but that will only cause more shit to hit the fan.
our houses are like 5 feet apart, and we share a mailbox thingie.  the husband parks right in front of the mailboxes, so he always watches when i go get my mail.  and if we leave, he has his friends park in my spot in front of my house.  I drive an excursion, so i can't really park it on my driveway.But.. the street isn't technically my property, so they can get away with it.
speaking to their lanlord (my realtor got her phone number and address for me ) will only make things worse, because as long as theyre paying their rent, they don't care.

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i totally agree with buying "cool-thing-hillbilly's-can't-resist" and leaving it in your yard with cam, then turning them into the police. and be nicer that you can possibly be to them, make it a game for yourself, it will keep you entertained and horrify the crap out of them b/c their bully antics aren't working.

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Post your neighbor's facebook so we can troll the shit out of her.

I have her email address, I thought about signing her up for newsletters for different things, but I'm sure she could trace it back to me, which would only make things worse. 

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OMG!!! i totally forgot, my friend got pissed at this girl who lived across the country, but the girl put her address on her myspace so friends could write her a letter... dumb i know, and my friend set her up, via internet, with her address, jahova wittness and mormon meetings at the same time. that is liek the major revenge :D

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Post your neighbor's facebook so we can troll the shit out of her.

I have her email address, I thought about signing her up for newsletters for different things, but I'm sure she could trace it back to me, which would only make things worse. 

That reminds me of something I heard of doing to irk someone special in your life:  You go into a bookstore, take subscription cards from all the magazines, fill out the info. of the person you want to torment, and send them all in!   
>:D

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Hmmm.... I NEVER enter the PO Box address of the person who took my vegweb gift-exchange package in sweepstakes.  Never.  ::)

I'd love to have their email.  I'd enter it everywhere.  If we all submitted it a couple of times, it wouldn't all be from one computer.  Also, how do we know they're not interested in the Church of Latter Day Saints.  It would be presumptuous of us to say they weren't.

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Hmmm.... I NEVER enter the PO Box address of the person who took my vegweb gift-exchange package in sweepstakes.  Never.  ::)

I'd love to have their email.  I'd enter it everywhere.  If we all submitted it a couple of times, it wouldn't all be from one computer.  Also, how do we know they're not interested in the Church of Latter Day Saints.  It would be presumptuous of us to say they weren't.

ahahahahahaha
or maybe they are interested in penis enlarging pills? who knows..

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And I'm sure they want to help those poor people out in Ivory Coast get access to the millions their daddies socked away somewhere...

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oh lordy yabbit they should!!! they seriously need help! and trojan also gives away free condoms..i really never signed my bitch of a neighbor up for that.... nope.... never

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Hold up.  Whatchatalkingabout.  Free condoms = good. 

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