Hey VW peeps...what would you do?
I need an opinion about how I should handle the following situation....
I started a new job a little over two weeks ago. It's going great and people know I'm vegan because it came up when I was offered some food and had to decline. So, my problem is I got an e:mail about it being one of my co-workers birthday on thursday and that they'd like to get a group of people togther to eat at a place called Uncle Barney's to celebrate. Uncle Barney's happens to be a hamburger place...basically a step above fast food. I know that there is at least one person in my department who is not going (she and the b-day woman don't like each other). Would it be completely rude if I tell them I won't be going either? I'm glad they asked me but I don't know if I can handle eating in a hamburger joint. Not only because of the smell but also because I don't want to eat fries and a side salad. I don't know if I should just suck it up and go....I don't want to get a reputation of being anti-social. I already turned down one other invitation because it was my 3rd day there and they were having lunch with their former supervisor.
What would you all do?
I probably wouldn't go and just make up for it by being social later. That is my general stance on barbeque's as well. You don't even have to tell them why you are not going, unless you are somewhat friendly with them and feel comfortable saying that it's not your scene, seeing as how you are vegan. Or, just go and don't eat anything. Say you ate ahead of time because you wanted to be sure you got something you liked. I did that at a friend's birthday once.
Also, make some vegan goodies for the birthday person anyway, to show you care.
in situations like that I usually come for a drink or two, say happy bday and get the hell out! I guess it depends on if you really like this person or not.
Also, make some vegan goodies for the birthday person anyway, to show you care.
I was thinking about doing this. I've had VCTOTW for years and I've never made anything out of it so I was going to use this as an excuse to bust it out.
Yeah, I think it all depends on what you feel like doing. If you feel like being social/want to get to know them better, eat something before (or look into what they might have there), and go. If you feel like you'd rather not "worry" about it, then just be honest, and tell them you'll be happy to do something different another time, and take a gift/treat, if you wish.
If you wanted to go, you could take the cupcakes with you!
definitely do the cupcakes and if you for sure cannot handle going to a meaty restaurant but dont want it to turn into a big vegan-not-feeling-comfortable drama just tell a while lie about how you already made lunch plans that day or dr.s appointment or whatever.
I would go. Your coworker who isn't going has probably already established relationships in the office, and so has the luxury of saying 'no' when she feels like it. You are new and, if you want to have a friendly relationship with your coworkers, you need to get off on the right foot. I recently went through a new coworker who turned down every invitation whether it be for coffee, lunch, or an office party. She always had some excuse; sometimes she was just "too busy" (how she managed to get busier than the rest of us in her first month of work, we didn't know). Of course, she also didn't speak to us in the office and took every opportunity to be out of the office. Resentment built and she quit after six months. I'm not saying that skipping this one lunch will create the same atmosphere, but just be aware that you should make an effort when you're new. So, if you decide not to go, do take the advice of the others and do something friendly to make up for it later.
in situations like that I usually come for a drink or two, say happy bday and get the hell out! I guess it depends on if you really like this person or not.
haha... i do this too. if you like em, yeah, make some cupcakes.
Maybe you could drop in after everyone was done eating, give the girl a card and maybe a vegan treat and be like "oh--I'm so sorry I have another boligation but I really wanted to stop by and say happy-birthday!!!" and then leave. That way you are the breezy, fun, busy girl that everyone will want to know! *woot*
Good luck! New work stuff can be hard!
i agree with the people who say go and drink.
My perspective about events like that is it's about the people who will be there, not particularly the food. I go out with my colleagues for birthday/celebratory lunches because it's about bonding with the group and promoting a "team" atmosphere, not what I eat.
My perspective about events like that is it's about the people who will be there, not particularly the food. I go out with my colleagues for birthday/celebratory lunches because it's about bonding with the group and promoting a "team" atmosphere, not what I eat.
exactly, it's nice to get along with your co-workers.
I would go and enjoy the time with my new coworkers. Check out the menu beforehand and see if there is something you'd be comfortable eating. If not, eat something before you go and get a side or a drink while you're there. Definitely make some vegan cupcakes...yum! I'm sure the birthday girl will appreciate the thought and your presence at her special lunch. :)
I might get some flack for this, but I would go, I hate to say it, but sometimes the reason vegans can get a bad reputation is not just because of what we don't eat, but because we have a hard time dealing with situations where we are invited to go out with other people to places we wouldn't normally go. I know this from experience because I am the only vegan or vegetarian in the group of people I know (besides my family) so when ever I get invited out it is by my Omni friends and we are going to places that serve meat. I just eat what I can or eat beforehand. When I first became vegan, I always turned down invitations for the same reasons as you, but people started forming bad opinions about being vegan from it, so I comprimised. I know that compromising your moral values to "fit" in does not sound ideal, but we live in a world that is mostly omni, and for that matter, there are really no vegan restaurants near me so if I didn't go to the "burger joints" or whatever, I would never get to socialize. And the few times I was willing to travel to go to a vegan place, my omni friends were willing to "compromise" and go there too. Hope I didn't upset anyone. ::)
I would go too. If people start probing why you're not eating or only ordering veg selections, you can proudly defend your vegan-ness since it's something you believe in strongly. You never know- maybe you might inspire a few people by your healthy food choices/explanations too!
If you want to eat with the group: Check out the menu, call ahead and ask to speak to the kitchen manager-explain your dietary restrictions and ask if there is any entree they can put together for you. Good luck!!