good news i guess.
Posted by karone04 on Feb 17, 2007 · Member since Jan 2007 · 132 posts
im pregnant again. i think im about 3 months along (last peroid was the week of thanksgiving). i wont tell my mom until ive decided what to do. im scared that when i tell her she will tell zack (merrick's dad) and he will want to fight for this one also. i dont know if im going to keep it or give it up for adoption yet. im not trying to be down about it but its kinda not the best time right now with the crap zack is giving me. i already know that im going to have a natural birth again (just hope i dont have to go to the same hospital again). ive knowticed that i have more nausea this time around.
I have much empathy to offer you. As a mother. . . Mom's know. . .living with your mother, you won't be able to keep it a secret (if she hasn't already figured it out and is just waiting for you to tell her). Maybe she'll accept that you have apprehension and will not only respect your need for space and time, but she might also help you get a little more of the rest you need. Hope you feel better soon.
I'm not a mom except for furred and feathered but one thing I can tell you is no matter what you decide, you will have my support and the support of most on this board. My sister adopted both of her children so if that is the route you go, know many loving people that can not have kids are out there waiting. Only you can make the decision but we will all be here for you....no matter what!
Hugs
Di
About the nausea, ginger is great for it. Have you thought about a doula? They can be great advocates and provide what you need while you are in labour. I had a volunteer one, you may want to look into what is available in your area. I hope all goes well for you.
thanx. im going to be looking to see if a midwife/doula are allowed to do homebirths in ohio. when i was on pregnancyweekly.com's message board i learned that not alll states allow midwifes to do homebirths. if i do go to the hospital im def going to need all the support i can get b/c i didnt go to the hospital until after merrick was born (emts delivered him) i dont know how supportive they are around here. we have a few hospitals and i already know i dont want to go to miami valley again (my mom used to work in the cornary intensive care unit, i think thats how its spelt). they sent a med student (dont think i saw a dr actually check on me) in to check on how the stuff in my stomach was shrinking, i want in that much pain but they insisted i take a hospital grade motrin (or it couldve been advil, i dont remember lol). lol, we didnt fill my scrpts in b/c everything we could get otc (my mom is a nurse and she told me that was all i needed). im not going to get pitocin just to deliver the placenta again. lol, between my mom and the natural board on pregnancyweekly.com ive learned some stuff. ive cut down to 1 or 2 pops with caffeine a day. this time i didnt need a test b/c my chest hurts like last time, i have more naseua this time (sry if tmi, havent thrown up since october and that was b/c of a migraine i sometimes get), when i lay down on my stomach i feel like there is something there that shouldnt be like the last time, get dizzy more easily. i decided last week that once everything is over with zack and when i have the money i would move to california. i have a friend out there and he might be able to help me find a place and what not. i want out of ohio cuz ive been here most of my life and want to be in someplace warmer. ok sry so long.
Wow...karone. I'm not a mother, but I can imagine a small fraction of what you may be going through and you have my sympathy. Just take it one day at a time and try to not get too overwhelmed. *HUG*
im trying to take it easy. i just found out last week that zack made my mom get her car impounded (dont know when it was) b/c he hasnt paid her back for all the times she has either payed our rent/bills and for groceries. b4 we moved into his mom's and i moved back here when i was having to many probs with his mom he wondered y merrick was so underweight, it was b/c he used his dad's food stamps card once a month and got $60 worth of food (mostly junk like frozen pizzas, perogies, pretzels). i couldnt make what i wanted to b/c we either didnt have the ingredients or he didnt like something that i wanted to put into a recipe. the thing with his mom is that she basically wanted me to do all the cleaning (except her room and clothes) at 6 in the morning and wanted it done b4 noon, if i didnt do it her way the first time then i would be at it all day. i never got any help from zack or his mom to watch merrick when i either didnt get something done b4 he woke up or if i didnt get started until after he woke up. while cleaning he was either in his crib (with zack in the room) or downstairs with me. when i left his mom's i know i put my wallet in one of the bags that i didnt grab and accidently left there and when i asked zack to bring it back to me he said he couldnt b/c he couldnt find it. i think that when his mom went to clean his room (our room when i was there) she took it and put it somewhere and told zack it wasnt there. sry im still really pissed off at them (mostly him for not taking care of merrick like he said he would). he was never home (at work, doing a computer job, or at a friends), didnt take care of the rent/bills but yet had the money to pay for several cars. as soon as i can get a id (been putting it off) im going to file for child support and hope that he doesnt get custody of merrick and im going to try and find a job. the last time we got into a fight about it over the phone (a month ago) he accused me of hitting merrick when he knows that i dont believe in hitting. the only time hes had bruises on him was when he fell down the stairs (trying to crawl up them to fast b/c i was ahead of him with his sippy) at his mom's a few days b4 thanksgiving. the next time i talk to zack's dad i will tell him about the stairs b/c when we dropped him off for a visit and picked him up i didnt get a chance to talk to him thanksgiving week and when he was here last week i didnt want to tell him infront of my mom and his sister.
:'( either i lost it or i wasnt prenant at all. have had a bloody show since yesterday. since i went off the patch just b4 merrick turned 1 i have sometimes not have a period for a month. i am sad that i dont get to feel another baby but a little glad b/c i couldnt afford it and zack would have fought for it. if i did lose it then i wont tell my mom since i didnt tell her anything. lol, merrick ate most of his chicken but not the salad from tgi fridays, usually he will eat a plain salad. a few weeks ago when we went to bob evans he was stealing the salad i ordered from my plate. right now im waiting for 2 of his blankets to get done along with some of our clothes. on friday my uncle called at&t to get zack's # blocked but had to have mom do it since the bill was in her name. b/c they couldnt block it they gave us a new #, b/c of that i have a feeling that he is going to show up sometime soon and if he does then i will either hide in mom's room if im alone or hide merrick in there if her or my uncle is here. zack has never been abusive to me or merrick. the reason we didnt come to a agreement last month when we last talked is b/c he didnt sign a patternity affidavit, i told him that when he has to work that merrick should either come back to here go to zack's dad's or to a daycare center b/c of all the things i have heard from him and his dad about the things his mom has done to him. the last day i was living with him, merrick broke one of zack's mom's decorative bowls and zack smacked merrick's hand, when zack went into the kitchen for something i heard her say that zack did the right thing. im not into hitting merrick at all b/c i was abused by my dad and i want to end the abuse with him. while over there i did the nanny 911/supernanny thing where i sat him on one of the bottom 2 stairs and he sat there for 1 minute. it was slowly working but they didnt see it b/c she was always in her room on the computer/at work in the afternoon/evening (she wasnt working when we first got there) and zack was always working or somewhere else. the way i earned my keep there was by cleaning all the floors, if i did the cleaning when merrick was awake i never got any help from anyone to watch him and if i tried to clean while he was in the living room or basement then it would take me all day. he was usually in his crib when zack was there so he wasnt alone in the room. i got yelled at by her b/c of that. when i had to get up around 6 am to do the cleaning i always had to take a nap when merrick did b/c i was that tired and it was usually a few hrs one to. in the begiining i had to stay up until around this time to get zack up so he could get to work or i was woken up by him coming in. sry another rant about zack and so long. this is the only place i can vent about him and him not finding out (i hope). i had to delete my bebo account b/c he somehow found out about what i wrote about our relationship and his mom. on there i was venting about the stuff i vent on here. i just cant wait for all this stuff to be over with.
I'm so sorry to hear about all the chaos in your life right now. I don't mind if you vent here. If there was a hug icon, I would put several in this message. Here are some kisses instead.
:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
thanx. lol, wasnt for sure if any1 would understand what i was rambling about last nite b/c i was so tired after we got back from tgi fridays and grocery shopping with my mom. im a little excited b/c in a couple of hrs the new power rangers series will be on and ill be able to watch it without merrick interupting b/c he goes to bed b4 it comes on.