Does this make me a bad person?
So, a few days ago, my dad went out of town on a business trip leaving me with the house all to myself. I have been waiting for this for months, as soon as I found out about it and everything was great until my brother lost his freaking job and got left the place he was staying. He came last night and told me the story- kind of, I think he's leavinf out a lot of stuff. Anyway, he came over last night and made it sound like he had some other place to stay from now on and just stayed the night here.
When I came home from work just now, he already made himself at home and the place looked very "lived in" (read messy and smelling to high heaven). Now he "doesn't know" if he'll stay here even until my dad comes back (which will be bad for all of us if he does). I hope he doesn't I really fucking hope he doesn't. I don't know if he just doesn't remember what it was like when he still lived here, but it was basically my dad being a, let's just say not nice person, and my brother crying, my dad calling him weak and a loser and saying he shouldn't have had kids, my brother just taking it and so on and so forth.
And I had to deal with all of that shit. Not anymore! I refuse!I will move out in a heart beat even though I can't afford it before I deal with that bull again.
So, now I'm trying to get him to talk to the friend he was staying with and see if he'll go back and I'm pushing him to talk to his boss so he'll try to get his job back. Hell, I'll do if for him if I have to. I just don't want him back here, because nothing will ever change if he can always run back home. He can't keep a damn job, or even a place to stay and he never will until he learns to suck it up and do what he needs to do. I am so fed up with other people's bullshit.
Am I being cruel or should I accept him back home?
It doesn't sound like "home" is a good place for him anyway. I have a low tolerance threshold for other peoples' drama, so I don't think you're being cruel.
Your new theme song:
Nick Lowe - Cruel To Be Kind
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JJ7oGHwMTI
It doesn't sound like you are being mean at all. If the house is owned by your dad, your brother should have asked him before moving back in. It was wrong of him to just move in when your dad was away.
I'd be PISSED when I was living at home if I was going to have a weekend ALONE and someone descended on the house like that. I used to love having the house to myself for a few days. Can you change the locks while he's out? :D
how old is he? it sounds like he needs to get his act together and be on his own. none of which is your responsibility & you shouldnt have to suffer thru until he does it.
No, it does not make you a bad person. If your family takes him in every time he screws up he will never learn to stand on his own feet and become a responsible adult. And tell him to clean up after himself or get the hell out. Messy and stinky is unacceptable!
He has kids?
Sounds like this is a pretty big issue. I agree with lasaanddini, I think it was wrong to just move back in when he didn't have your dad's permission. And I totally agree with you on the point, you where planning a relaxing weekend to yourself, and then it gets smashed. Ya, I would be very pissed too.
I just came back home from work and asked him about calling his boss and he said he "probably can't" get his job back. Something tells me he didn't try too hard. And he has another job supposedly lined up ::). I asked him if he had another place to go and he said "don't worry I'll be out of here soon enough", and then got all huffy and tried to leave now. Trying to guilt me into talking him into staying. Now he's going to go walk all around town (we don't live in a good area) right when its about to get dark ::)
He's 24 years old and acts like a child. He's not a bad person, he just needs to learn to not do crap that will get him fired, and pretty much get his shit together. He's acting like a victim and thinks I'm being mean or a bitch when its his fault this all happened. I had my own plans for this time and he just waltzed in without notice or even discussing it with me.
And I have the house until August 8.
Me, I would have helped him gather his stuff....and held the door for him.... 8-)